A man has something a woman doesn’t have. Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s not what you think it is.
A man has a space – a space in his brain that’s completely unoccupied, devoid of any synapses or other links to thought. In this cranial space he doesn’t think. He does nothing – absolutely nothing – and for long periods of time.
This space, that only a man has, is called his “Nothing Room.”
A woman’s brain is totally different. A woman’s brain is jammed with designated thought areas. A woman has a spot to store every thought she’s ever had and will have until her last breath.
And her last thought will probably be something like this, “I wonder why today was my day? Can we talk about this?”
Ergo, women are very jealous of a man’s nothing space.
A woman can tell when a guy is in that space because she’s been trained by masters. She recognizes his blank vacant stares … that bit of drool … monosyllabic responses to complex questions.
A man goes to his Nothing Room frequently because he’s learned it’s the only space he has that is truly his. As the owner of a Nothing Room, a man must be ever vigilant that a woman doesn’t gain entry to his nothing space.
Attempts to occupy a man’s Nothing Room may go something like this:
Partner: “Hi hon, what ya thinkin’ about?”
Man: “Oh, nothing.”
Partner: “You gotta be thinkin’ about something. You can’t be thinking about ‘nothing.’ What’s going on in there?” (This is a thinly veiled attempt to gain illegal entry.)
Man: “Really – nothing. I’m not thinking about anything.”
At this point a smart woman shrugs and walks away, leaves the man to his thoughts about nothing and allows him to continue to hang out in his cranial vacuum.
Researchers have been unable to locate or verify the man’s Nothing Room. This shouldn’t be a surprise since there’s nothing to find in the Nothing Room. Nothing is visible, nothing is scope-able.
And be forewarned. A man’s Nothing Room has absolutely nothing in it because he wants it that way. Nothing to dust. No decorator colors, no dried or silk flowers, no Martha Stewart towels, no nothing!
Every man knows that a decorated room instantly becomes a “Something Room.” It would have to be cleaned, maintained, rearranged and taken care of. The man would feel responsible for it. It would become just another designated thought space in his already cluttered mind … Lunch, football and sex
Remember, there’s a reason men call it their “Nothing Room.” We’re just sorry women don’t have Nothing Rooms of their own.