Come on admit it. I’ll bet you have at least one, maybe even more, Florida pink plastic flamingos in your life. Come on … admit it!
If your ego allows it, you’ve got it smack dab in your front yard.
If you’re more timid about “coming out” with your flamingo, it’s probably in your back yard.
And if you’re totally embarrassed that someone in your family dared to give you one, it’s probably in your closet, garage or has already been donated to the local re-sale store with a weak explanation:
“You know, it’s just not my style … if you know what I mean.”
Don’t feel bad. The argument over whether this Florida icon is art, kitsch, or crap has been going on ever since sculptor, Don Featherstone designed the mold for the first one back in 1957.
Even he’s not sure which it is!
Lineup a dozen Floridians and six will look down their collective noses at the royal plastic beauty, while ½ dozen will proudly tell you that they’ve named their individual flamingos. Hell, some folks have been spotted dressing their flamingos for holiday celebrations!
And native Florida families go to war over flamingo yard art as often as they do over supporting the Gators or the Seminoles.
Hey … this is important sh*t.
The flamingo, as an important part of Florida cannot be argued. Hell the image for the Florida Lottery is a silhouette of a bright pink flamingo. Flamingos were kept footloose and fancy free on the interior grounds of Hialeah Racetrack when it was operating. Even the taxi cabs in Key West are painted pink.
Oh, wait a minute … that might be to promote Pepto-Bismol to help with Hemmingway-esque hangovers!
Hangovers? Alcohol? Did someone mention alcohol? My, my just the thought of refreshing jazzed-up pinky concoctions makes my brain fuzzy.
Several adult beverages make use of the flamingo in their names and, though most of them tend to be designed for women, there are a couple of recipes for the “knuckle-dragger” in your family.
Get over the “pink” guys and go for a pink flamingo Martini. Here’s my recipe for the Seriously Absurd Pink Flamingo Martini. Vodka goes with any color!
Two parts vodka
1 part cranberry juice cocktail
1 part pink lemonade
Dash of Cointreau or Triple Sec
Shake vigorously over ice
Strain into a chilled Martini glass
So the evidence is in. Pink flamingos may not live here anymore, but there are plenty of others we can have fun with.
I challenge you to take the Kitsch Pink Flamingo Challenge and show me your “pink flamingo,” whether it’s in your yard, your glass or your….
Oh, never mind!