Is my RBF Showing?

You might think the big news this week was the GOP debate.  Think again.  The big debate is about RBFs.  What’s an RBF, you say?

For you cave dwellers, RBFs are the hot social networking topic.  An RBF is a woman’s “Resting Bi*ch Face” – her photo posted on social media when she is not smiling.

Many people infer that a woman’s RBF implies that she is angry, sad or vacuous. Some women feel it’s another opportunity for gender bias because men are not held to the same standard of the constant “smiley face.”

I’m here to tell you that this is not just another gender specific problem.  Men have their own versions of RBFs.  To support our cause, several male RBFs come to my twisted mind.

READER ALERT – avert your eyes if you are squeamish about language.

The RAHF:  Most men easily qualify and deserve to have this photo posted.  With very little provocation, we men can produce Resting A-Hole Faces at a moment’s notice.  Our RAHFs generally occur when we’re angry over anything that didn’t go our way and we want you to know it.  It doesn’t matter how minor the situation may have been.

The RPF:  This is a naturally occurring facial mode for any man.  The RPF, Resting Prick Face, is similar, but actually more hostile than the RAHF.  An RPF involves more facial contortion and generally is accompanied with puffy pouty lips.  It’s to let you know we’re really pissed and disappointed in something you have or have not done … no matter how inconsequential.

The RATF:  This is the latest addition to the male expression arsenal.  You can thank the election season, the GOP, and The Donald in particular.  Since Trump has exploded on the political scene and dominated with his facial debate style, the Resting Angry Trump Face has grown exponentially in popularity.  The RATF is worn pretty much all the time.  Squinty eyes, pursed lips and not-a-hair-out-of-place are the hallmarks of the Resting Angry Trump Face.  And we know, not in a million Apprentice episodes, will he apologize.

There you have it.  Move over ladies, we have our not so inviting moments, too.

Just sayin’.

For examples of RBF, click on this New York Times link.

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12 thoughts on “Is my RBF Showing?

  1. Cracked me up as usual. I think that was one of the faces you were making yesterday when I passed you on Overlook. Hmmmm

  2. Thanx for reading, Rachel … You may be right … I was way off guard and probably had one of my “less smiley faces” on. Oh well … color me human.

    I do feel that women have incredible pressure on them to be the “bubbly cheerleaders” all the time whereas men have the luxury of “face choice.”

  3. With Jon Stewart out of the picture, I appreciate you stepping up, Richard.

    To be fair, I think I have only seen you with an ASS – Angry Scrunched Scowl.

    • Hey Mike … Thanx for reading …

      I’m waiting for Comedy Channel execs to call. I’ve heard the rumors, too. As soon as I get the gig, I’ll call you for a guest spot.

      As for my ASS Face, I kinda thought I had kept that a secret and it was my HAF that was my public persona … That would be my Heavenly Angel Face. I checked the mirror today after lunch and much to my dismay, there was an Ass braying back at me from the mirror. Gee … wonder how that happened?

      Thanx for your support(?)

  4. I love this! I can add two to it, too. There’s the SSNF–the Scottish Snot-Nosed Face, given when you are so disliked by the Scotsman that he runs his fore-finger along the side of his nose whilst snorting the nostril on that side and turning down the lip on the other side as if to spit something out. Very common in local pubs when the councilman who just raised your taxes for the local heroin treatment center walks in. Great post!!
    love, P. Marthaxx

  5. PMartha … Now I know why Ron sat there with his finger up his nose the first time we met. I just thought he was mining for Scotch boogers. Oh my … guess I did not make such a good first impression!

    Thanx for reading my stuff and commenting. I appreciate your support.

  6. Richard Thanks for all your stuff Interesting stuff ! . The Donald’s expression is a combination of RAHF , RPF, RATF +SSNF . This is easily explained as his Mother was Mary Ann McLeod from the village of Tong on the Island of Lewis in the Hebrides and The Donald’s father was of good German stock . All this useless information explains The Donald’s combined facial expressions and his hairstyle . The reason The Donald wants to be president is he will get a $500 haircut on Air Force One on his way to his inauguration . Megan Kelly has volunteered to be the hair stylist for the event . Best , R .

  7. Ron … Thanx for reading my stuff. You’re as crazy as I am and I’m rattle and bang quite a bit in my head. 1) I agree that The Donald is a combo of faces all the time … part of why he’s entertaining. He’s the best at “facial debating.” 2) Disagree on use of AF1. He’ll keep the Trump wings and have it outfitted to be more secure than AF1. 3) He hasn’t paid $500 for a haircut in years … he’s in for a grand a trim! 4) Megyn Kelly will be his First Lady. He’s gonna dump this wife and marry Megyn. Just you watch!

    Thanx for your support …

  8. On Trump it looks so pouty. Like, “You just sold that crummy Casino for Billions and I wanted to buy it cheaply.” Or you got away with doing the nasty with a married lady and the lady’s husband caught me.

    He may be trying to be bitchy, but just can’t pull it off. He hasn’t reached maturity yet. But maybe I just don’t like the man.

  9. Trump looks constantly constipated. I love watching him talk because his facial expressions are as “vocal” as he is. No question that he hasn’t reached maturity … and I for one am glad he hasn’t. He then would be the only mature GOP candidate running!

    Thanks for reading and supporting my work!

  10. I seem to recall once a Twilight Zone episode about a dinner party full of lots of character-revealing conversation and at the end of the meal everyone’s face had morphed into their “personality” (greedy, sneaky, dishonest, etc.). Now wouldn’t that be fun, walkin’ around seeing everyone’s “real” face! Wikipedia would have to come up with a whole new set of acronyms. 🙂

  11. Many of the TZs were based on short stories … That was probably a great short story …

    As an aside, people really do start resembling their dogs … at least in my opinion … as they and their dog age. They also walk like their dogs.

    You’ve got a bright future ahead of you with Tzuri …

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