Politically Correct This!

Have you ever heard “cris-cross applesauce?”  WTF, you ask?  Cris-cross applesauce!

The PC Police have invaded preschools and determined that sitting “Indian style” is verboten.  To teach the little buggers how to sit cross legged, teachers have been told to use this cutsey little rhyme, “cris-cross applesauce.”

Let’s face it, kids are going to find out they’ve been sitting “Indian style” while they’ve been cris-crossing their applesauce.  Then we’ll have to explain how insulting the term sitting “Indian style” is to Native Americans.

And, aren’t kids gonna be puzzled when they find out we have pro sports teams named the Cleveland Indians, the Washington Redskins and the Atlanta Braves … but we can’t sit “Indian style?”

Who are these self-appointed language janitors scrubbing up our speech?  Are there PC Police pouring through their outdated Funk and Wagnalls handing out death sentences to de-selected words?

Here are some words already executed.

Swamp … A no-no.  “Wetlands” is so much friendlier.  Who wants to protect a muddy, smelly, insect infested, reptile filled swamp?  Can you hear the Florida Gators welcoming rival teams to “The Wetlands” and not “The Swamp?”  I don’t think so.

Jungle … Nope.  Try rainforest.  Jungles are filled with dentist eating animals.  Rainforests are filled with Disney characters and songs.  Jungles are filled with head shrinking cannibals.  Rainforests are filled with Macaws and tree frogs.  Get it?

Foreign … So rude.  It’s now “international” – much more sophisticated.  The Turner Network’s World Championship Wrestling performers ran into a PC problem in the late 1990s.  When The Hun bashed our homegrown hero in the head with a chair, the chair was no longer a “foreign object,” but instantly became an “international object” used in an international incident.  True … no s**t!

I just read that the phrase “politically correct” is up for review and may be declared, well, “politically incorrect.”  It seems that the term politically correct has been so misused and misunderstood it’s become ineffective thus causing it to dwell in the land of nonsense.  To be politically correct may soon no longer be … well, politically correct.

Could it be that we’ve finally plunged into an alternate reality of politically correct incorrectness?

Just sayin’.

31 thoughts on “Politically Correct This!

  1. I have been out of the classroom too long. In fact, I have been known to sit Indian style as recently as a few days ago. There, gasp-gasp I am saying it again. So sorry.

    • Hey Ella … thanx for reading …

      Wow … i declare you eligible to sit any style you wish if you can still get down to the floor , cris-cross your legs, un-cross them and get back up with out being “crippled.” There, I said the “C-word.”

      You’re my favorite Indian Sitter!

    • Lynn … Thanx for reading … I assume you’re referring to sitting down!

      Hmmm … I think I was just not PC with that statement.

  2. “Jungles are filled with dentist eating animals.” I love that! But the PC thing has gone way too far. There’s a big difference between using the “n” word and saying “foreign.”

  3. “Jungles are filled with dentist eating animals.” I love that! But the PC police have gone way too far. There’s a big difference between using the “n” word and saying “foreign.”

    • Hi Joy … Welcome to “Seriously Absurd!” Thanx for reading.

      Yep … You’re sure right about that. It’s really made comedy hard to do … unless you’re being comedic about being Politically Correct. Now there’s a whole new field for us to poke fun at!

  4. Oh, my aching heart!!! I suspect telling them how to sit is a pre-cursor to teaching them how to sit Islamic Caliphate style.
    In case you don’t know, sitting Muslim style means folding your lower legs under your upper legs, then lifting the heel of your left foot up whilst leaving your big toe, facing forward, on the rug.
    I have seen various videos devoted to this position for sitting, with the “mentors” correcting those who don’t do it precisely as proscribed. This position, of course, causes one’s ACLs to get pretty badly sprung, so then a person would not be able to run very fast, eh?
    They know what they’re doing, these PC folks, yeah, they do, indeed!!
    Try reading The Hunger Games, all three volumes. You will learn swiftly that a secret boat in Cambodia didn’t get blown up, that deceit and mistrust are utterly necessary for survival, as is obedience to the Powers That Be.
    You will learn that love is a selfish emotion generated from the primal instinct to kill one another. And you will never want to eat a full meal again, or, if you do, you will feel guilty.
    These books are published by Scholastic Press, which, you may remember, published the innocuous but fun “Weekly Reader” back in the fifties and sixties. I don’t remember that little tabloid ever ringing the bells about nuclear disaster impending, despite the common belief that it could happen any moment.
    Nothing back then about the power of insurgency in a society, despite that period being inundated with McCarthyism and the “hearings” to determine one’s political affiliations and subsequent sins against American society.
    Awwww, Hell With IT! I’m going to watch Hillary on SNAPCHAT! now!! Wonder if she’ll let me tag along to DAVOS this year, hunh?

    • PMartha … Well, “Lady,” (a non-PC word) you certainly liven up the discussion.

      I have trouble La-Z-Boy chair sitting, can’t sit Indian style and wouldn’t dream of trying to twist my limbs into the Muslim style.

      I was not aware that Scholastic Press published “The Hunger Games.” But, I do fondly remember the Weekly Reader and feeling proud that I could progress through that on a weekly basis.

      I did read “Pilgrim’s Progress” when I was about 10-11 years old and remember being disappointed that Squanto & Thanksgiving weren’t mentioned in it at all! After that experience, I gave up on reading serious literature.

      You’re the only person I know who could possibly tag along with Hillary to Davos … go for it … I’m assuming you’re referring to the World Economic Forum?

      Thanx for reading my stuff … you take it way too seriously!

      • Yep, the World Economic Forum. I’m just after the chocolates, the champagne and the fun flirting with rich men, then dishing over them with Hillary! Now! That would be worth my time!!

  5. Poor Richard! (Hey! You should write an almanac!)….

    Loved el blogo de Ricrado today….now to go hide my childhood copies of Peter Pan, Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, Stuart Little and The Ugly Duckling before it’s too late!

    • Tom … Thanx for reading …

      Yep. Probably the vast majority of writers we grew-up with would be banned by the PC Patrol now. Plus quite possibly the early Disney films, especially “Song of the South.”

    • Be sure to hide Brer Rabbit, Uncle Remus and Little Black Sambo, too.
      I think the PC people believe in “contagion by words,” in other words, like my deep south family on one side, not the city side, believed in. You know, if you know about something it must be certain that you’ve engaged in it or are about to.

  6. Crisis cross apple sauce is a game we played on kids backs in kindergarten. It causes chills and is quite fun. I learned it from the five year olds and passed it on. Still fun.

    • Hi Ellen … Welcome to Seriously Absurd! Thanx for commenting.

      Glad to learn that Cris-Cross had some real purpose other than screwing up little kids. Hmmm … without proper clothing, Cris-Cross might just be a fun adult’s game, too!

      Just sayin.’

  7. I proudly wear a lapel button that states ” Proud to be Politically Incorrect ” If the PC Police don’t like my statement or my stance ” They ” Can Go Forth and Multiply . I do not take ” them ” seriously , you can’t fix stupid . Ignoring , good taste , Thanks for something to do , R .
    PS . Of course I do not have a lapel on my golf shirt , I have not seen a lapel in Florida , are ( they ) a protected species ??

    • LOL, imported from Marks & Spencer, but the dude doesn’t do his own shopping. He sends his wife! How’s that for politically really bad?

    • Thanx for reading, Ron … I can honestly say that I would have to rent something with a lapel for my UnPC lapel pin.

      I could pin it on the tip of the collar on my “dress” polo shirt. I just think ti requires way too much thought for a lot of the PCness thrust on us now.

    • Thanx for readin’ Mike. I wasn’t aware that you spoke French, too! On a scale of 1-10, just how apropos was it?

  8. Had sitting Indian style been verboten when I was a kid it would have saved me a lot of hard-ons looking up girls’ dresses. 🙂

    • Thanx for reading, Oops … You’re the only guy I know who would want to “save hard-ons.” Do you have them stored somewhere?

      • When you’re my age you are very grateful to have “saved up” some hard-ons but unfortunately fading brain cells forget where they are. 🙂

  9. I agree, some of this has gotten really out of hand. Bill Maher just ended his show last week with a whole bit about how lots of comedians won’t play colleges because of the PC police. But sometimes being PC is not “The Man” trying to take away your personal freedom. Often it’s just another term for being polite. If someone prefers I call them Asian instead of Oriental, I’m fine with that. Whoopy Goldberg said, “Don’t call me African American…I’m from Brooklyn, baby!”. So I don’t.

    • Spot on, Steve … It seems PCness was established for those who lack the sensitivity to be more inclusive and kind with their remarks. It can be tricky, however … I opened the door to a restaurant f9or a woman on my first visit to NYC (many moons passed) and was promptly and rudely told that she was perfectly capable of opening her own doors. I was just glad she wasn’t my date for that night.

      Thanx for reading my stuff.

    • Thanx for reading, Vi. Instead of being “Politically Correct” with just a couple of letter changes, we could be “Politely Correct.” Works for me … Thanx for your support!

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