Small talk at a cocktail party? It’s an art form. After “Hi, how ya doin’?” what do you say?
Forget the senseless banter.
This tidbit guarantees you’ll be a treasured invitee. You could even be an A-Lister – the person everyone wants at their next bash.
Here’s the secret. At cocktail parties, everybody talks about diets and weight. Who’s on what diet? Who’s lost weight? Or who’s gained weight?
But you can stop this blather in its tracks because everyone really wants to know what you know … “where does fat go?”
And you, A-Lister … you know where the fat goes. Armed with this knowledge, you are the one everyone wants to hang with … so here’s the scoop on fat.
We all know fat can’t just disappear. That’s against some kind of esoteric Laws of Matter … and surely the laws in a lot of southern states.
Personally, I always thought fat hid in my closet blended in with my “fat clothes.” You know … the ones we save for when we fall off the wagon again, and again, and again.
If you listen to weight loss commercials, a fulltime job, you’d think that we have to “burn fat” to get rid of it.
Watch those exercise crazies who practice that Tae Bo Kick Boxing stuff. Once you’ve destroyed a heavyweight boxing bag that withstood the assaults of Rocky Balboa, you can walk or crawl off your floor and declare yourself a new person … without fat.
But the dude who really knows where your fat goes is an ex-pudge-guy, Ruben Meerman, an Australian surfing physicist and TV talk show guest de rigeuer.
Meerman discovered that fat ‘burned” by your body is converted to Carbon. In every 10 pounds of “lost weight,” 8.6 pounds are exhaled from your body via your lungs as CO2 molecules. The remaining 1.4 pounds exits your body via “waste water,” probably from the sweat and tears it takes to evict the fat in the first place.
So, exhale deeply, me hearties, and feel the fat fly from your body … but not in my direction because I so don’t want your discarded fat atoms entering my lungs and I sure as hell don’t want to smell your bad breath.
And the next time you’re allowed out in public, corner your friends and dazzle them as you solve the amazing mystery of where fat goes – though they may be a little disappointed to learn there’s no Fat Fairy involved.