Volkswagen has a problem. Not a “Beetle” sized problem. More like an entire Germany sized problem.
They’ve been bitch-slapped big-time for cheating on emissions in 11 million diesel model cars. It’s a slap heard around the world.
VW’s top people admitted the whole plan was … well, planned! What? They admitted it? That only happens on TV courtroom drama!
And, guess who nailed ‘em? Nailed ‘em good. Yeah, they had some outside help … but still, they nailed ‘em.
OMG … it’s our EPA! Yes, that EPA … Our EPA.
One of the agencies, Rick “I’m-Not-Running-for-President-But-I’m-Keeping-The Money” Perry, wanted to defund and discontinue.
Yes, that Rick Perry. A one percenter. No not at the top of the financial food chain. It’s THAT Rick Perry … a one percenter at the bottom of the GOP candidate food chain. Not such a hot idea now Rick!
But VW’s problem isn’t the EPA.
It’s not absorbing the billions of dollars they’ll most likely shell out.
It’s not even the jail time some of their decision makers could serve.
What Volkswagen has is a simple PR problem.
They don’t need to spend waves of money on market research. It would be a waste and they won’t have any money after paying the fines and consumer law suits.
First … ditch the bickering old ladies with the cute accents taking test drives in the “clean diesels” … diesels with zip and maneuverability. VW doesn’t need more video proof they were “taking people for a ride.” That’s called fraud.
VW needs to hark back to happier times. The 1990s. Everyone was making money, spending it and having fun.
That’s when we thought the “good ride” would last forever and VW gave us “Fahrvergnugen.”
Fahrvergnugen was everywhere. There were Fahrvergnugen ads, decals, and clothing. It was on vanity license plates … at least abbreviated. It actually made it into our lexicon via the “Urban Dictionary:” “the act of felating someone who is driving an automobile (especially a Volkswagen).
So, Fahrvergnugen was in marketing terms … the cat’s ass!
But, the days of Fahrvergnugen are long gone and VW needs an immediate makeover.
A conceptual word. One that will grab us emotionally just as Fahrvergnugen did. One that’s descriptive. One that let’s us know just what VW did to us.
That’s why I propose “Fuchen-yu-gen” as VW’s next big slogan. Yes … they did it to us!