OMG! We’re under attack. The Polit-a-razzi are at the gates!! Reality TV has spawned this near sighted Goliath, filling every TV, tablet, smart phone and ear bud with political slime. They stalk their preferred prey setting up for the kill with tabloid style “gotcha moments” and campaign wrecking fake exposes.
Think political gangbanging reporters armed with high powered fully-automated cameras engaged in drive-by shooting, recording and reporting on presidential candidates.
Facts be damned … the Polit-a-razzi feed on what sells. If it’s not outrageous, doesn’t promote a conspiracy theory, or isn’t wild speculation … it’s not news. And, if it’s not news, it’s not in Polit-a-razzi lenses.
Now you know why some of the candidates have gone MIA. Have you seen Martin “Who’s-He?” O’Malley, Chris “I-did-not-Move-the-Traffic-Cones” Christie, Bobby “I-too-am-a-Man-of-Color” Jindal or Carly “I-was-a-Woman-before-I-was-a-CEO” Fiorina, surrounded by the Polit-a-razzi?
No! Why not?
Because they’re so boring they can’t bribe, bully or bait the Polit-a-razzi into coming after them. The only time we hear about them is when they’re the target de jour of a Trump-mauling.
So, who do the Polit-a-razzi love, feed off of, and chase? You guess.
You got it – The Donald and The Hukster-bee, the guys with ids from the deep. They know the Polit-a-razzi thrive on raw meat.
Showing up at the Kim Davis get-out-jail-free scam was a brilliant move by The Hukster-bee. He even upstaged Ted “I’m-just-out-for-a” Cruz.
Poor Ted … turned away by a Huckster-bee lineman’s cut-block and shown the exit ramp of the big “No-Gays-Married-Today” stage. No camera time for you, Cruz-er.
As for Hillary “I’m-Sorry-Already” Clinton and Bernie “Yes-I’m-an-Old-White-Socialist” Sanders, all they have to do is sneeze … or pretend to sneeze, and the Polit-a-razzi press are mobbing them.
The Polit-a-razzi is in it for the cliff hanger. They want hot-n-sexy in the moment political cat fights, catastrophic potential campaign ending gaffs, photos of a candid-date’s “political belly fat” … or God forbid, “political cellulite.” That’s what gets the cameras whirring, the pundits yelling and Twitter tweeting.
This melee is definitely fun to watch. But I wonder … is anyone tuned into the current “Reality USA” show which features our crumbling infrastructure, ineffective schools, Middle East chaos, immigration fiasco, and countless sub-plots?
Probably not … that’s way too “real” and exhausting.
It’s way easier to settle for endless debates about whether Tom Brady “really” did deflate those footballs and whether Roger Goodell will survive as the head of the NFL. Thank God for football!