Washington D.C.’s full of you-know-what. I bet you already knew that.
But, do you know what they’re doing with all that s**t?
D.C. now runs a major utility off this s**t, plus provides electricity for over 10,000 homes. Wow … That’s a lot of s**t!
Here’s an abridged version of the way it works. Take the s**t and remove the solids. A huge, I mean really fricking big centrifuge, spin dries the leftover s**ty water, which now resembles the Potomac River on bad days. The remaining sludge is pumped into containers that act like mega-pressure cookers – You’d better hope the lids are on super tight because it’s cooked at 338 degrees of steam and pressure.
The s**t is now sent to “digesters” which are 8-story concrete buildings filled with mega-bazillions of microbial bugs … Bugs you don’t want in or around your house. And, if there’s beauty in s**t, here it is … The by-product is major league quantities of clean burning methane gas which is used to produce electricity.
Wait a minute! Did I hear “methane?” Methane gas?
Aren’t cows the largest producers of methane gas? Cows carry their own microbial boogers in their stomachs and wander around eating all day, belching and farting methane gas by the cubic whatever.
No s**t, Sherlock!
Bing – bang – boom … an idea lights up the nether regions of my brain. (Surprise, surprise … I have one of those and it functions on alternate Tuesdays.)
Cows produce methane. Cows eat almost any plant fodder. Where do we have room for huge herds of cows in Washington D.C.?
Until now, I haven’t found a direct link between all this s**t and either the House of Representatives or the Senate. But Holy S**t, it seems to me that since we’re talking s**t here, we’d look at Congress as the source for our raw material.
Duh … the capitol building and the surrounding parks and grounds. What good is Congress at solving any of our problems? I CAN’T HEAR YOU …
What? You think we could put Congress on a permanent recess and load the hallowed halls of government with herds of belching farting cows all producing methane gas? Methane that produces electricity, which is a lot more than Congress has ever produced.
As the French would say, “Voila!” We now have a use for Congress … at least the halls.
Screw the Congressmen … unless they want to shovel s**t.