Waaa, Waaa, Waaa!

Monkey see … monkey do.

Aping The Donald’s success of leading by whining, the GOP presidential candidates initiated their first ever Whine-In 2015, AKA, The Fantabulous Waaa-Waaa-Waaa!

Instigated by mild mannered Dr. Ben Carson … no not Dr. Ben Casey … all the candidates except Carly Fear-arena were represented in the group’s cry-baby-a-thon, a collective whine about how abusively they were treated by the mean and nasty CNBC moderators.

Everything from “gottcha hard” questions to inadequate bathroom breaks was up for a whine.  The pseudo-adults in that back room sounded like a gaggle of jacked-up, sugar crazed, cranky, tired, and hungry pre-schoolers.

Without an invasion of personal privacy, we can’t really do anything about the bathroom breaks.  But we can throw the whiners “a security blanket” to handle those “gosh darn hard questions.”

Fortunately, I discovered a “Congressional Easy Question Think Tank” which meets weekly at a local pub.  In an emergency session, a few EQs (Easy Questions) were composed which will be forwarded to debate planners:

(1)  When Vladimir Putin calls you a weakling and kicks sand in your face, should you suggest to him that in the future you meet where there is no sand?

(2)  If Democrats vote against any of your proposed Bills, would you put them in time-out, deny them recess time, or take away their afternoon snack?

(3)  Do you want to repeal Obama Care without having to think up a replacement program? In other words, just reinstitute the old program – medical care no one can receive, or be eligible for, or afford if they needed it?

(4)  Since ratings of Congress are at an all time low and nothing is ever accomplished, what do you think about instituting the Congressional Marco Rubio Plan – a 50% cut in the time congressional members are required to be in D.C.?

With help from experts, candidates may research these questions ahead of the debate.  If they’re asked for extemporaneous clarification during the debate, they may call a “lifeline designate,” probably their chosen Billionaire Sponsor, to handle the toughie rebuttal.

As an alternative, any candidate may simply state, “I agree with candidate ________,” and then use the allotted time to talk about whatever he/she wants.

It doesn’t get any easier than that.

Just sayin’.

8 thoughts on “Waaa, Waaa, Waaa!

  1. Careful, Richard! Reince Priebus may be reading your posts. (And, for the record, I didn’t make that name up. Google did when I asked it who was the head of the RNC.)

    Anyway, look on the bright side of things! Just NINE MORE MONTHS (an oddly familiar time frame, ain’t it?) and the GOP convention in Cleveland will select it’s official Whine-Er! Then a mere four months more and we get the election. A few days after that, the whole thing starts all over again.

    To paraphrase a familiar TV product huckster, “I don’t always drink vodka….but when I do it’s usually because of politics.”

    • Tom … Thanx for reading my stuff.

      Yes … “Rancid” is the head of the snake called the GOP … I thought it ironic when I first saw his name as their fearless leader.

      Yes … the GOPers are indeed pregnant with potential nominees. Cleveland, home of the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, could well be a devastated and sacked city by the end of the festival.

      I love the fact that we’re in a perpetual campaign cycle … whatta country! The only folks who advertise anymore are our politicians.

      Loved the ad that hung out the LA race … the paratrooper vs the fornicator.

      Now, it’s off to my 1st vodka of the day …

  2. No hard ??? for the Dems either .
    If HRC was a Republican , she would be gone by now . Jailed !
    The FBI will be told to forget the findings on Benghazi and all the emails .
    Personally I don’t care for the Media , as far as I am concerned it is only run by rabid dogs all in the pocket of the OBAMA administration . Just look up who is married to who in all the networks , if you don’t want to look it up I will send you the facts .
    Even James Murdoch of Fox has a fox in the hen house , his wife is Kathryn Hufshmid , who just happens to work for , surprise , surprise The Clinton Climate Control Initiative .
    Congress spent $ million on the Benghazi hearings , but nothing is reported about the DOJ sending $29 million dollars to the church shooting victims families in the Carolina’s .
    Just think the Democrats have a Lair and a Socialist , is that the best of the best … I would rather pick a Whine-Er God bless us ALL !

    • Ron … Thanx for reading my stuff.

      My blog is called Seriously Absurd for many reasons, one of which is to not take it so seriously.

      BTW … DOJ sends funds to all families involved in mass shootings. It is a government funded program that was started years ago, not by the current democratic administration. Funds have been released to Sandy Hook families, the Colorado families and many others.

      Check it out on SNOPES and you’ll get a full accounting of the situation.

  3. I am a Democrat and usually vote for a Democrat, but not always. I watch all the debates, minute by miserable minute sometimes. The CNBC debate was the ugliest, most ill-prepared bunch of media people I’ve ever witnessed in my life.
    I am keen on the media, and on politics, both. I’m the kid whose dad made her stay home to watch the McCarthy hearings because “your brain will absorb what you see, and you will need to know about these things when you are older. Listen very carefully to how any question you are ever asked happens to be worded!”
    That the debate was not a proper debate is irrefutable. Go look it up and sit through the entire thing. Put yourself, as much as you can, into a more conservative stance about things. Now, do you still think it was professional, Richard?
    No sensible Republican would consider Carson anything more than borderline schizophrenic. He exhibits the behavior patterns, mannerisms and irrationally mis-constructed verbiage of that personality type. He is fundamentally dangerous!!
    What i noticed on early morning CNN today was some pretty “accommodating” blether about Carson. Natch!! If he gets the nomination on the Pubs’ side, it’s better for Hillary!
    They also gave some fair assessment of Donald Trump on SNL last night, and if you didn’t stay up to watch that one, forget being able to understand the media from here on out. CNN gave him some credit, again, perhaps because it’s better for HIll to face the Donald than some of the others.
    Snarky is the word here.
    On the other side, we have the snarky Benghazi hearings, which she trumped! (Pun intended). Those hearings put Ken Starr in the home for the mentally incompetent if rated for obscenely clever and diabolical. Only a few people there were anywhere near “fair and balanced” in their approach.
    Ain’t it amusin’ tho? The MSM is now using the phrase “fair and balanced” in their everyday jargon, after years and years of all their verbal abuse of Fox News.
    A far more informative way of approaching things may be to read Ted Koppel’s beautifully written, incisive account of what may or may not happen in USA if we have a major power grid failure.
    For one thing, almost all of us live in a “cloud” cookoo land wherein we depend totally on the magic of binary systems for almost everything. The lack of preparedness for this event, the total ignorance about the possibility of it, will put all the rest of this fighting between blues and reds to bed for good.
    One more little point about this morning’s shows, 8-10 A.M. on CNN–they took a few swipes at the Vermonter, too. Well, good for them, but if Hillary wins, it will be because of the determination of a lot of people who remember what it was like when Lyndon Johnson made it possible for students to go to school, even graduate school, with low-interest loans. And, of course, us old birds can remember the income we had in the 90s and the successes of smaller investors before the turn of the century and 9/11.
    If the pundits want to drive this campaign towards having a Cruz for President, or, God Forbid, Carson, they can just keep up their stupid shenanigans. If you want Hillary, you cannot sit back on your snarky haunches and get her there this way. Get the hell out there and campaign for her!!
    P. Martha xxx P.S. Get some vodka if necessary and tune in to Fox channel so you know what the hell you are talking about when you discuss it and its powers over people. I just guffaw out loud when someone writes me a private e-mail bashing me and my intelligence because I would “lower myself” to watch Fox news. Do none of you remember Hodgell? KNOW YOUR EFFING ENEMY OR LET HIM DEFEAT YOU!! (The far harder one for me to stomach, actually, was that verbally slutty Joy Behar on The View! At least Fiorina stood up to her for her poor white trash behavior! I strongly suspect Behar is the singularly most bitchy woman on TV, small-minded, petty, jealous–I’m glad there’s that ring of Hell for envy!)

  4. PMartha … Thanx for reading my stuff … You laid out too much for me to engage with on my blog. I’ll answer you privately by email.

    I appreciate your thoughts and your support … Somewhere along the path, the absurdity of the debates seems to have been lost.

    Just sayin’

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