Now you’ve done it Starbucks … You’ve dumped us right back into another effing war. A war that makes us realize there are only 40 shopping days left before Christmas.
Just what was the covert op pulled off by Starbucks, the instigator of this latest international skirmish?
They had the audacity to stop putting snowflakes, snowmen, ornaments, mistletoe, and not to mention a reindeer, on their holiday cups to try and squelch our thirst for the Christmas Spirit with … OMG, a plain red cup.
Hmmm, coupled with their green logo, in a minimalist kind of way, the cup actually looks quite “Christmassy.” So, what’s the big deal?
The Twitter-sphere is totally a-tweet with emotional effluvia accusing Starbucks of waging a “War on Christmas.”
The outcry from Congress, the media, and at least one GOP presidential candidate, was swift, loud and apocalyptic.
Trump bellowed that when he’s the President, “We’ll all be saying Merry Christmas again.”
Hey … not for nothing, but I’ve never seen a crèche, Jesus, the Magi … no angels, not even farm animals on Starbucks’ cups. Yes, there was a reindeer one season, but to date there is no forensic evidence that a reindeer was ever a member of the official Christmas family.
The Donald also called for a Starbucks boycott. Yeh, like that’ll ever happen … Imagine millions of Americans going without their double-mocha-cinnamon-latte.
“Pardon me – I’ll take that in a Venti, please. Oh no … wait. We’re at war. Cancel that. I’ll do without.”
So what do you think? Are we overreacting to Starbucks? Is this another step on the pathway to a Jesus-less birthday party … another push toward the continued secularization of our country?
We can’t stand meekly in line while this caffeine factory herds us like a bunch of manger animals. We’ve got to unite! Force them to put their secular Christmas decor back on our Cup of Freedom.
We need T-shirts that change the “b” in Starbucks to and “f,” driving our demands home … hard and fast.
This is America! We can’t allow this heartless, soulless corporation to steal our Christmas cups.