NEWSFLASH … The GOP’s rapidly imploding soul is on life support!
Trump “sucks so much oxygen out of the room,” the GOP’s suffering from collective delusions of creating a Trump-Free Zone stretching from all 50 states to American Samoa and the great beyond.
After years of fertilizing the mutant egg that gave birth to Birther-Trump’s “Make America Great Again” campaign, they’re emitting a collective primal scream:
“The baby’s an abomination! The baby’s the devil’s spawn!”
Now, the GOP’s facing their “Dump-Trump D-Day Armageddon.”
Get the cameras ready. Tune into Reality TV that rivals Mad Max on steroids!
Scene 1 – Dump-Trump “STAT.”
Straight from the Grey’s Anatomy Operating Room of GOP Central, elite major donors and selected hand wringers twitch nervously with high hopes in the OR observation area.
“Here we go, 4-3-2-1 – we’re live!”
Under the glare of klieg lights they’re watching the GOP perform political abortion!
Surprise … it’s a “self-abortion” for the same group that coined the term “self-deportation” as a brain fart for solving their immigration problem.
Scene 2 – Dump-Trump “Comoediae Fatalis.”
Enter the stand-up acts to take down The Donald.
Rubio and his obviously crack-laced writers launch his post-election career in sophomoric political gutter humor. Comedy Central’s bidding for the rights.
Not to be upstaged, The Food Network has Marco booked for a 13 week series featuring unique ways to “Carve ‘n Serve Flame Roasted Donald” … well done, of course.
NetFlix plans to launch a “Three Stooges Meets Mr. Trump” mini-series featuring Ted, Marco & John, complete with pie-in-the-face, “Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk” sound bites, nose pinches, and ear bites.
Scene 3 – Dump-Trump “Mittens Unleashed.”
The remake of Mitt 2012 stars an almost energized “Mittens” Romney eviscerating The Donald with surgical precision.
Diehard Mittenites have already named him the “Slice-n-Dice Romney-Matic.”
According to “Mittens,” The Trumpmeister is a schoolyard bully and a behaviorally arrested middle school, boy’s-bathroom-smoking-juveie-delinquent. He’s a liar, a misogynist, a racist, a fraud, a sexual deviant, a sinner, and … would be a piss poor president.
Other than that, he’s “likeable enough.”
There’s just one problem with this Trump organ rejection. It ain’t gonna work.
Hey, Grand Old Party … get used to the mud, swamp gasses and gutters of Trumpdom. It’s dirty. It’s where he lives. He loves it down there … and he’s suckin’ you down with him.