Attempts by cable media to explain the 2016 GOP primary campaign are so horrific that I’m calling a “Linguistic Timeout.”
Everyone … Get back in your corner or go to the nearest Green Room and gulp another 5 Hour Energy Drink!
To understand the 2016 campaign language, here’s a synopsis, courtesy of my friends in cable news.
The Donald, who else, wears the crown for uttering the most non-words and phrases. Trump’s the Leader of Lingo … LOL … pun intended.
Bing bing bong bong bing bing bing: When The Donald launched this apparent gibberish from his gold plated tongue, “Dumbing-Down-America- Scholars” and Trumpologists worldwide leaped from their leather club chairs to fathom his stream of apparent nonsense.
The scholars id’ed the phrase as pure Trumpese and determined it was “that sound greedy lobbyists make when they are controlling the leaders of our country.”
He sucks all the oxygen out of the room: Repeated ad nauseum at Trump rallies, it describes the effect of Trump’s mere presence in a room.
Headline News: “7,000 Plus Trump Loyalists Asphyxiated in Hangar at Trump Rally.” Oops … No oxygen in the room could result in thousands of rabid Trumpians suffocating.
That sure puts a considerable dent in GOP voter registrations and it’s far from good news.
There’s no there there: Gertrude Stein’s laughing her literary ass off as pundits use her phrase when they’re at a loss to find any meaning or rational thought in the stream of un-consciousness Trump spews at a rally.
Content? Meaning? Trump Rally? No connections exist … only hats … made in China.
“Five Stages of Grief:” Because there’s an absence of any thought thus far in the GOP campaign, it’s created an abbreviated “Three Phases of Grief.”
Sorry Dr. Kubler-Ross.
Five stages are way too many for any GOP candidate to track since most get stuck in the first two … Denial and Anger.
That just leaves the last step … Acceptance. Sixteen of the original 19 candidates are off the stage because they’ve reached “Acceptance.” Only two remain, and they’re mortally wounded.
Sorry Ted & John … accept it and say “Goodnight.”