It was a fun packed week for “Day-Glo Donald” … Lock up women who have abortions … Get rid of NATO … Let nuclear weapons morph out of control.
Unfazed by his most recent foot-in-mouth breakout, The Donald announced a plan to cut the size of government by reducing his “Brain Trust,” – his Cabinet.
“My Cabinet’s useless. I mostly listen to myself. You’ll get three-for-one when I’m the President, ‘Me-Myself-and-I.’ Hell, I might not even need a Veep.”
“I’m really, really smart. I went to Wharton. I’ve read “Art of the Deal” a lotta times. I mean really a lot, and I Tweet my friends 24/7 to keep my brain really, really, really sharp.”
“Fixing jobs, our military, fighting Isis, and eliminating foreign affairs … except for Lying Ted Cruz who’s had numerous, I mean lots of affairs … that’s a no brainer.”
“I’ll get rid of the Secretary of State … with The Wall, and without NATO or the Geneva Treaty, who needs a State Department?”
“The Secretary of Defense … gonezo. I’m gonna personally make us the strongest military power in the world. The generals love me.”
“Treasury Department out! Obama runs it with this Asian guy. I have great friends in China … they buy my apartments. I’ve got my own Asian guys.”
The rest of the cabinet? Trump says he’ll pick from loyalists who’ve worn his “Made in China” hats and supported his quest to “Make America Great Again!”
“Chris Cristie’ll be in line, too. He’s mean. Zero empathy … fully qualified to be in my cabinet. But my God, the man’s fat. Didya notice his hands? Small, really small.”
“I’ll smoosh Commerce, Education and Energy together and let Rick Perry run ’em into the ground … if he can remember them. When they’re bankrupt in a couple a months, I’ll Tweet Rick and say, ‘Hey Rick …You’re fired.’ ”
“Now, I just gotta get someone to pull the plug on ObamaCare. “Marco … Oh, Marco … are you there? Wanna job, Little Marco?”