He Said What?

bing bing bongBreaking News … this just in:  “The oxygen’s been sucked out of the room” resulting in “no there there,” and because it was all “too little too late,” it’s time for the “Five Stages of Grief.”

Aaargh!

Attempts by cable media to explain the 2016 GOP primary campaign are so horrific that I’m calling a “Linguistic Timeout.”

Everyone … Get back in your corner or go to the nearest Green Room and gulp another 5 Hour Energy Drink!

To understand the 2016 campaign language, here’s a synopsis, courtesy of my friends in cable news.

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The Donald, who else, wears the crown for uttering the most non-words and phrases.  Trump’s the Leader of Lingo … LOL … pun intended.

Bing bing bong bong bing bing bing:  When The Donald launched this apparent gibberish from his gold plated tongue, “Dumbing-Down-America- Scholars” and Trumpologists worldwide leaped from their leather club chairs to fathom his stream of apparent nonsense.

The scholars id’ed the phrase as pure Trumpese and determined it was “that sound greedy lobbyists make when they are controlling the leaders of our country.”

He sucks all the oxygen out of the room:  Repeated ad nauseum at Trump rallies, it describes the effect of Trump’s mere presence in a room.

Headline News: “7,000 Plus Trump Loyalists Asphyxiated in Hangar at Trump Rally.”  Oops … No oxygen in the room could result in thousands of rabid Trumpians suffocating.

That sure puts a considerable dent in GOP voter registrations and it’s far from good news.

There’s no there there:  Gertrude Stein’s laughing her literary ass off as pundits use her phrase when they’re at a loss to find any meaning or rational thought in the stream of un-consciousness Trump spews at a rally.

Content?  Meaning?  Trump Rally?  No connections exist … only hats … made in China.

“Five Stages of Grief:” Because there’s an absence of any thought thus far in the GOP campaign, it’s created an abbreviated “Three Phases of Grief.”

Sorry Dr. Kubler-Ross.

Five stages are way too many for any GOP candidate to track since most get stuck in the first two … Denial and Anger.

That just leaves the last step … Acceptance.  Sixteen of the original 19 candidates are off the stage because they’ve reached “Acceptance.”  Only two remain, and they’re mortally wounded.

Sorry Ted & John … accept it and say “Goodnight.”

Just sayin’.

8 thoughts on “He Said What?

  1. “Bing bing bong bong bing bing bing” may not be gibberish or nonsense, but Trump’s attempt to spread a version of the New Yawkese Badda bing, badda boom throughout his empire.

    • Hi Nancy … Thanks for reading my stuff

      You’re onto something … Trump’s a secret agent and is spreading lunacy using a little know esoteric code … gibberish in — gibberish out.

      There are millions of minions out there who understand that he really means: Mareseatoats and doeseatoats zipp-ah-di-doo-dah zippety-ay and those caisons keep rolling along.

      Until next week, when it seriously gets Seriously Absurd!

    • I’ll take that gibberish bing, bing, over, God Forbid he discovers it: Yadda, Yadda, Yadda, any day.
      Some little girls around here are calling themselves “Trumpettes!” The young kids seem caught up in it all.

      • PMartha … thanks for reading … The neat part of the Bing Bing series is that it’s original to Trump … all the other gibberish we know about would be copied by Trump … yah gotta give the man credit for “creatively destroying the campaign practices.”

        he has carried the politicians into the digital age … the guys who couldn’t make the switch are gone from the race.

        Goodbye reasoned position papers & policy statements … Hello tweets and twits.

  2. There is, my friend, an antidote.
    Just grab you copy of any of Jack Prelutsky’s books of poems, (I’m especialy partial to “Behold the Bold Umbrellaphat”)….and re-learn how to enjoy nonsense the way it was meant to be enjoyed…..

    • Hey, Tom … Thanks for reading …

      I can always count on you … you’ve found the one nonsense poet who makes Ogden Nash look sane.

      I usta read Prelutsky to my kids … mostly because I thought he was hilarious and since I was bigger than they were, they listened to me patiently as I giggled my through them.

      I’m off to the Land of Prelutsky … until next week when I’ll be even more Absurdly Serious …

      • I rail against Trump supporters who are akin to poachers killing elephants for their ivory. What’s left?

  3. Hi Jeanne … Thanks for reading and commenting.

    Get ready for a long hot summer … It’s gonna get worse before it gets better. I think your best bet is to watch HG TV and leave the politics to those who don’t care. I find that the more I care about the outcomes, the more upset I get by the process.

    I think it’s Canada that has a 60 day, maybe 90 day, limit on campaigning. That might be a better idea for us instead of 2 1/2 years of fury!

    Hang in there and vote frequently and often!

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