It’s an all new Hall of Shame

I’m assembling a star studded collection for my new unvarnished-forever-to-live-in-history, GOP Un-Truth-Truth Hall of Shame.

Hall cirque de so lame

Immortalized by bronze busts and abutting their “Blue Ribbon” bronzed word salads, these GOP’ers represent the best-of-the-best.

Tickets for the Hall may be purchased at any WalMart. Fat old white men receive a 50% discount – no Muslims and only 3% minority daily admissions.

Satisfaction guaranteed or the GOP will unhappily refund 1% of your ticket cost.

Read on for the selected Shamers …

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Todd Akin: Former GOP Congressman representing the “Stupids” – “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.”

Ann Coulter: Voted “Most Vicious” GOP gad fly-ette” – “It would be a much better country if women did not vote. […. in every presidential election since 1950 – except Goldwater in ’64 – the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted.”]

Barry Goldwater: Aha … a speck of clairvoyance. “Mark my word. If and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem.”

Lindsey Graham: South Carolina’s bachelor bon mot senator – “Strom Thurmond had four kids after age 67. If you’re not willing to do that, we need to come up with a new immigration system.”

Mike Huckabee: Representing the “Yes-it’s-me-again-candidates” – “Planned Parenthood isn’t purely a ‘healthcare provider’ any more than a heroin dealer is a community pharmacist.”

Richard Nixon: Tricky Dick’s summation of the media – “It is the responsibility of the media to look at the President with a microscope, but they go too far when they use a proctoscope.”

P.J. O’Rourke: Conservative comic commentator and voted “Most Likely to Attend any GOP Cocktail Party” – “The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.”

Dan Quayle: Veep and speller who did not know as much as a fifth grader – “The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.”

Marco Rubio: Cuban-American senator unfortunately needed for minority representation – “Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to answer that. It’s one of the great mysteries.”

Steve Stockman: Aah … another former white male ex-GOP’er who won the “Bumper Sticker as Americana Art” award –

Hall if babies had guns *************************
Oh … A separate building will house The Donald J. “Frump” shamers.

Send me your nominees and quotes.

Just sayin’…

10 thoughts on “It’s an all new Hall of Shame

  1. Stop it, Richard! Stop it now! You’re making me EXERCISE!

    Or, at least, you’re making me struggle to get up off the floor after rolling around down here, laughing my antique ass off!

    Alas, I can’t think of any quotes to add to your list just now…I’m too busy pressing my “Help-I’ve-fallen-and-I-can’t-stop-guffawing” button.

    • Hey TL … You leave me breathless … I see you rolling around with a scraggly antique ass in your hands trying desperately to slap that sucker back on.

      Sure hope you gave ’em the right address when they answered your “Help me my ass fell off” call.

      Maybe the operation to restore your butt can be featured in your next column. Until next week …

    • Hey Alice … Welcome to my blog … and just so you know, I love being addressed as “Huss.” Very few folks use my last name in a positive way, so you’ve joined a small group. If I have brightened your day, brought you a chuckle or chortle or just a small private grin, then i think I’ve been successful.

      Thanks for your support … until next week …

  2. Richard,
    I agree, your dry wit had me practically falling off my chair. Very funny. Love the “Blue Ribbon” bronzed word salads bit. I may have to borrow that one.

    • Hi Vi … Thanks for reading …

      I think we can thank Ben Carson for inventing the actual “word salads” … not the phrase. He’s the master, but he didn’t have any short pithy quotes and since we’re using bronze, we can’t afford him in the Hall of Shame.

      Until next week and another opportunity to be seriously absurd! Life sure is grand …

  3. Quote by Nixon threw me off my chair! You see, I was sittin’ here on my brand new proctoscope bot on sale at Wallymart where they tol’ me I could find truth with it.

    • Hey PMartha … Welcome back and thanks for reading.

      Nah … you may be able to sit on your Proctologist, but not your proctoscope …

      As for truth, the only real truth is revealed by the ancient 8 Ball manufactured by Matell … I still have one on my desk and check it frequently. Truth be known, I also have an “Ask Jesus” and an “Ask Buddha.” But, not a protoscope.

      Thanks for your support …

  4. I’ve been saving reading you latest until I was safely ensconced away from the great outdoors, and I’m glad I waited … this one is awesome, but shouldn’t be released into the wild.

    Here’s a nominee for the HoS, Huss …

    “See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.” – George W. Bush

    • Hey Mike (and Lucia) … Mike, sure hope you haven’t been losing more weight as you literally would be pedaling your ass off ‘cross country! thanx for readin’ and commenting.

      Love your quote … it seems to be the GOP mantra … “loud, frequent damn the truth, lies ahead!”

      Hope your venture is panning out to be all that you hoped it would be (positive) and none you feared (negative) …

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