I’m assembling a star studded collection for my new unvarnished-forever-to-live-in-history, GOP Un-Truth-Truth Hall of Shame.
Immortalized by bronze busts and abutting their “Blue Ribbon” bronzed word salads, these GOP’ers represent the best-of-the-best.
Tickets for the Hall may be purchased at any WalMart. Fat old white men receive a 50% discount – no Muslims and only 3% minority daily admissions.
Satisfaction guaranteed or the GOP will unhappily refund 1% of your ticket cost.
Read on for the selected Shamers …
Todd Akin: Former GOP Congressman representing the “Stupids” – “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.”
Ann Coulter: Voted “Most Vicious” GOP gad fly-ette” – “It would be a much better country if women did not vote. […. in every presidential election since 1950 – except Goldwater in ’64 – the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted.”]
Barry Goldwater: Aha … a speck of clairvoyance. “Mark my word. If and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem.”
Lindsey Graham: South Carolina’s bachelor bon mot senator – “Strom Thurmond had four kids after age 67. If you’re not willing to do that, we need to come up with a new immigration system.”
Mike Huckabee: Representing the “Yes-it’s-me-again-candidates” – “Planned Parenthood isn’t purely a ‘healthcare provider’ any more than a heroin dealer is a community pharmacist.”
Richard Nixon: Tricky Dick’s summation of the media – “It is the responsibility of the media to look at the President with a microscope, but they go too far when they use a proctoscope.”
P.J. O’Rourke: Conservative comic commentator and voted “Most Likely to Attend any GOP Cocktail Party” – “The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.”
Dan Quayle: Veep and speller who did not know as much as a fifth grader – “The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.”
Marco Rubio: Cuban-American senator unfortunately needed for minority representation – “Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to answer that. It’s one of the great mysteries.”
Steve Stockman: Aah … another former white male ex-GOP’er who won the “Bumper Sticker as Americana Art” award –
Oh … A separate building will house The Donald J. “Frump” shamers.
Send me your nominees and quotes.