A chicken in every pot … 1928 …………… A taco truck on every corner … 2016

You know what takes real balls?  Making a tangible campaign promise.  One that can be easily measured by voters.

taco-truck-from-facebookHerbert Hoover did that in 1928 when he not only promised “a chicken in every pot,” but went on to promise “a car in every garage.”

But … just to prove that the 2016 campaign is like no other and defies prediction, Don the Con has made a very real threat … not a promise … about an alleged outcome if Hillary Clinton’s elected president – even though “SHE’S not qualified to be elected dog catcher:”

And the Con’s “Latino’s for Trump” spokesman, Marco Gutierrez, is spreading the word:

“There will be a Taco Truck on every corner!”

***********************

Wait a minute!  I don’t know about you, but I don’t see a problem with that unless there’s NOT a Margarita truck on every adjacent corner!

What’s a taco without a Margarita … or at least a solid Mexican beer?

That’s not a rhetorical question.

It’s about breathing life into an inedible unidentifiable protein source, smothered in inedible unidentifiable other things, and topped with a yellowy cheesey substitute … “aqui esta el taco!”

And everyone really knows that Hillary’s Taco Takeover is viewed as an Act of War by many Amer-kans!

It’s a blatant attempt to unseat the hotdog as our #1 greasy meal!

*****************************

In a desperate effort to gain respect from his Latino “muchachos y muchachas,” Mr. Schlump has also tried to demonstrate just how brown his natural skin is under all that store-bought-orange.

His first appeal?  The notorious “Cinco de Mayo lunch” … a Trump Tower Taco Salad!  That was a limp lettuce and sour cream bomb!

I think the descriptor was, “una problema muy grande!”

Next he tried to organize a National Hispanic Advisory Council.  It’s now losing membership faster than rats abandoning a sinking raft caught between Cuba and Key West.

Now he’s turned to his tried and true tactic.  The Big Lie.  Lie about what will happen if “SHE” wins the rigged election.

That’s the ticket!  A Big Lie scares everyone!

“TACO TRUCKS ON EVERY CORNER!”

We can replace the Illegal Alien Deportation Force with a Taco Truck Tow Force.  And, it’s a lot easier to tow Taco Trucks to the police impound than it is to drag screaming Latinos to a bus that’s gonna haul them from Manhattan to Guadalajara.

And it costs less, too.

But, surprise, surprise … Amer-kans love tacos!

Who knows … we may well want “A Taco Truck on every Corner!”

Just sayin …

6 thoughts on “A chicken in every pot … 1928 …………… A taco truck on every corner … 2016

  1. Ay Jalisco, Senor Ricardo!

    Once again you’ve scraped through the Muck and Mire, (which incidentally, would be a GREAT name for a law firm), to reveal the latest, greatest threat to American democracy!

    To paraphrase the late Dwight Eisenhower, we should all “beware the Taco-Industrial Complex!”

    It’s true! I just logged onto Amazon and guess what they’re selling?

    Toy taco trucks – tons of ‘em! Several with something called “push-back action” (which seemed eerily appropriate under the circumstance)…as well as a whole host of cardboard taco truck playhouses!

    Jumpin’ Joseph McCarthy, Ricardo! It’s another communist conspiracy to corrupt our kids…only this time the sneaky bastards are using corn flour and lime wedges!

    Me? I’m gonna go read a real AMERICAN book. Tequila Mockingbird might be a good choice.

    • Hey TL … Thanks for readin’ my stuff … You’re the only guy I know who can weave Ike, Joe Mac and the browning of Amer-ka into a reply. What a great Jeopardy question.

      As for me, nothing goes better with a big batch of Mockingbird wings and Cool Ranch dipping sauce, as a giant icy cold Margarita with several fresh lime wedges.

      Thanks for all your support …

  2. Pig’s Eye! Why read “To Kill a Mockingbird” when you could be reading “The Lacuna” by Barbara Kingsolver? You would get a real grip from that book on what is propelling so much of the campaign, not just on Trump’s side, but on all sides. Just sayin’.

    • Hi GL … Thanks for readin’ … Glad to hear that Texas is ahead of the rest of the USA in a positive manner! Un Taco Truck en cada esquina! Aye, carramba! Estas in el cielo!

      Me … I gotta schlep by the local Taco Bell … crap food and no one speaks Spanish! What fun is that?

      Thanks for reading and commenting … hasta la semana proxima, and Seriously Absurd rides again!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *