Super Debate #1 … Party Plans

Just got back from Publix … with my stash for my Super Debate #1 Bash!

Been mentally prepping for weeks.  Lots of suspense … who’s gonna grab the Super Debate #1 ring?

debate-main-pageOn the kitchen counter I sort my stash into my basic food groups:  Alcohol … beer, wine (for my wife) and vodka.  Citrus … lemon and lime.  Orange colored cheesy stuff … Doritos Cheese Nachos and Cheetos.  Ice.  Got eats covered.

But people, specifically Trumpsters, are saying there’s something just not quite right about this debate.

Of course, Don the Con’s already whined that the moderator’s a “set up.”  The Con says he’s ready to have a serious discussion of the issues … like whether Hillary’s “sleeping her way to success.”

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So what’s the deal with holding Super Debate #1 at Hofstra University … a school that dropped football in 2009 and just resurrected its debate team in 2016?

Plus, this is the third … get it … third presidential debate that’s been held at Hofstra.  Obama vs McCaine … Obama vs Romney and now Clinton vs Trump.

Over 2500 colleges and universities in the country and we have held three debates at Hofstra?

Could Trump be right?  Is the system rigged?

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The run-up to this debate rivals promo for the Stupor Bowl.

TV ads are dead ringers for sports spots … harsh raspy voices barking hyperbolized adjectives at the listener.  Lights flashing.  Music drumming.  It’s “Countdown to Super Debate #1!”

Combatants’ photos reveal their most ferocious expressions.

Questions raised?  Which Donald incarnation will show up?  Will it be the “Tele-prompter-Barbie-like-quasi-Presidential Don?”  Or, the radioactive pulsating Donald?

Will Hillary attack trying to “get under Trump’s day-glow orange skin?”  Will she wear a dress and try to totally throw him off his game?

Just like the Stupor Bowl, we get daily reports about debate prep.  Who will play Trump for Hillary?  Godzilla?

Will Trump even prepare for the debates?  Does watching reruns of “The Apprentice” count?

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The bottom line … Super Debate #1 will be the most watched presidential debate.

It’ll reveal almost nothing about the candidates and their policies.

God bless Hillary … she’ll take the most simple recipe and turn it into an elaborate description for a seven course meal.

And Donald … well, he’ll just be The Donald, tell us nothing of substance and Fact Checkers will spend the next three days wondering what he said.

The most fun?  Watching post-debate analyses as the Fundits work themselves into lathered frenzies blathering about who won.

Just sayin’ …

10 thoughts on “Super Debate #1 … Party Plans

    • Hey Michael … Thanks for the compliment …

      Well, Hillary didn’t wear a dress but she sure looked “hot” in that fire engine red pantsuit … I’m sure that threw Trump off his game along with the fact that, unlike him, she knew what she was talking about.

      Thanks for reading my stuff … until next week, I remain, seriously absurd!

  1. Hilarious! My favorite lines…”Over 2500 colleges and universities in the country and we have held three debates at Hofstra? Could Trump be right?
    Is the system rigged?
    Will Hillary attack trying to “get under Trump’s day-glow orange skin?”
    Not sure I can watch. Have they cancelled Monday Night Football for tomorrow night?

    • Hi G.L. … Thanks for reading.

      I didn’t watch the debate either … took my party goods and had a mini-tailgater watching the NFL game. Got a good night’s sleep without worrying.

      She got under his orange skin which wasn’t quite so orange for the debate … they also gave his hair a good rinse and he lost the carrot top look.

      Clearly he thought the system was rigged starting with “Microphone-Gate,” Lester Holt-Gate,” and Sniffle-Gate.”

      Throw in his “Female-Fat-Attack” strategy and he had an overall bad night.

      Now it’s on to the “Town-hall-quasi-debate” … thanks for all your support!

  2. Bravo, Herr Huss! You have all the major food groups standing by…but I’d advise one more purchase.

    Chicken wire. You’ll need to protect your TV screen.

    You know it. I know it. Mari knows it. At some time during this TV extravaganza, it is statistically inevitable that you heave something heavy…possibly even a full bottle of vodka…at one particular participant in this debate.

    The chicken wire will – quite literally – be your “screen-saver” and the unbroken vodka bottle might just end up being a sanity-saver during that post-debate pundit-palooza!

    • Hey T.L. … I took your advice and ran to Lowes for my chicken wire. But then I took direct control of my life and held a mini-tailgater for myself as I watched the Saints and the Falcons beat each other up instead of Hillary and Don the Con.

      Don’t worry … I’ll use the chicken wire for the coop because I also bought chickens while I was at Lowes, a pre-Easter special.

      Until next week … just praying for more absurdity!

  3. Really good! If you feel like crying it makes you laugh!! The line about Hofstra was my favorite, too. See ya’ll at the party!!!

    • Hey PMartha … Thanks for reading and for your support.

      I chickened out and used my goodies for a mini-tailgater while I watched a legitimate arena fiasco … the MNFL game. Does that mean I lose my political street cred?

      I enjoyed watching behemoths trash each other rather than politicians … actually Trump is right about one thing : He’s no politician. And it showed in the “Grate Debate.”

  4. Great column about the upcoming “great” (grate) debate! During all the anal press coverage of an event that’s impossible to analyze, one of my biggest concerns is the cheerleading audience. I have a feeling this one could get louder and wilder than a Britain vs. France soccer match.

    • Hey Snake … Thanks for commenting.

      Lester Holt did admonish the crowd a couple of times … not having the raucous feedback was part of Don the Con’s problem … the other parts were that he clearly doesn’t know anything about government, governing or governesses.

      It’s obvious that he’s gotta build conspiracy theories as big as his wall if he’s gonna keep Clinton at bay. Loved his “Mic-Gate” accusation about the rigged microphone.

      We learned on good thing from the “Grate Debate:” It’s tuff to win a debate when you know nothing about the debate topic.

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