Trump Out … Thanks Giving In

I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted from the Trump this, that and everything.  If there is a Media Hog God in this world, please let her rise up, hit the delete key and get rid of the monster that’s been created.

Don “The Con” hasn’t even been sworn in and he’s worn me out.  I can’t believe we’re gonna face this for four years.

Lord have mercy on us soulless beings.  We musta been real bad to deserve this.

I don’t care about what T-Rump’s hair will do during the inauguration … Vegas odds are 5-3 that it will stay on.

I don’t care if Ivanka sells Melania’s inauguration dress for a bazillion dollars after she’s worn it to the I-Balls.

I don’t even care if Trump name’s his entire family to his Cabinet, staff, lawn care and fence patrol duty for the White House.

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I’ve decided that I’m gonna focus on “Thanks Giving” … the holiday that pits family-member-against-family-member for one extended horrendous weekend.

Topping my “Thanks For” list is the announcement that Duck Dynasty’s over – kaput – zippered up for reruns after this season.  Over exposure … or maybe their audience belatedly realized that the entire show was a hoax.  Just like someone’s campaign.

I’m thankful I’m not eating turkey at home this year.  Yes … someone invited me (actually my wife, Mari … and I get to tag along) to their house.  I’ve already promised Mari that I will shower, shave and practice the “Thumper Rule” … If I can’t say something nice I won’t say anything at all.  Yeah, right.

I’m incredibly thankful that McDonald’s isn’t replacing its entire staff with foodservice bots.  In fact, they’re instituting table service … with real people.  Now, if they would institute real food for the real people to bring to the table, I’d truly be thankful.  I won’t eat there … I’ll just be thankful.

I’m also incredibly thankful that I was not on the Evite list for a Tennessee toddler’s birthday party this past Thursday evening … one dead adult (the toddler’s mother) and 6 others wounded including a 6 year old.  The shooter clearly was not on the Evite list and was pissed about that.  To quote the Mayor, “The event that occurred last night in our community is not a typical occurrence in our community.”  Thank the gods for that.

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Well, I think that’s enough “Thank-Fullness” for me.  I hope all of you have a thanksfilledthanksfull day and can “fuhged about” T-Rump … at least for the day.

Just sayin’ …

13 thoughts on “Trump Out … Thanks Giving In

  1. Thanks, Richard. I was starting to feel a bit guilty about having the same attitude, although not nearly as humorous. Blessings to you and yours for a truly thankful holiday.

    • Hey Gail … Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Yep, there comes a time when you just say, F**K IT … And I’ve reached the point where I’m not surprised by what T-Rump does anymore … He’s ours and we need to figure out how to minimize his damage potential.

      So … I’ve moved on to the more thankful aspects of my fun life. Hope you have a wonderfilled Turkey Day … I hate turkey, BTW … I think they should all be pardoned so they won’t end up in our supermarkets and shrunk wrapped as wafer thin slices of shit I won’t eat.

      “Talk” with you in a while …

  2. Call it a hunch but I think you may be thanking the wrong gods. I mean, the god of spiral-sliced ham and roasted turkey probably has a place in the pantheon of Huss but were I you, I’d start working on an altar to the goddess Mari….without whom you’d be sharing Thanksgiving dinner with the Hamburgler….or worse!

    • Hey TL … Spiral ham is a big yep! Nothing good ever came from a turkey carcass … I haven’t met the turkey I could sit down to and enjoy … side dishes, yessiree … turkey, gag me with a spoon.

      As for my bride, Mari … Momma didn’t raise no dummies … she’s not even making me “eat turkey” literally or symbolically this year. Gobble, gobble to that!

      Talk with you soon …

  3. Don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to next Thanksgiving. It will be the GREATEST Thanksgiving ever PERIOD, I guarantee it.

    But the best will come the day after when the doors to the WHITE House will open early for the best BLACK Friday deals ever. Billionaires and some millionaires will be able to buy original furnishings like rugs, silverware, paintings, desks, pens and maybe a selfie with certain members of of the BEST EVER FIRST FAMILY. Small donations will be collected at the back door as they leave which will go to rebuilding the GREATEST EVER University PERIOD.

    Hope everybody has almost the GREATEST Thanksgiving ever until next year.

    • Hey Ken … Thanks for reading and commenting … Yep … I agree finally we’ll have a TGiving I can look forward to. Though I sure hope T-Rump won’t be around for a full year. You paint a beautiful Rockwellian scene of poor billionaires and millionaires fighting over White House memorabilia. With everything sold out the backdoor, if T-Rumps still around, maybe we get a bit of gilding in the tired old mansion on Penn Ave.

      “See” you soon … I feel an absurdity coming on.

  4. From the beginning, I couldn’t get out of my mind the statement by Dr. Ben Carson: “America will get the President we deserve.” So, time to be thankful. We didn’t get Cruz, right?
    What we have wrought here is something to leave for reflection upon next year. Everyone needs an emotional break from all the hatred, snideness, and just plain frivolity now. Good column, Richard, very good!

    • Hey PMartha … Thanks for reading and for your support.

      Praise God and pass the ammunition … yep, it coulda been Cruz!

      My role is to spread the absurdity in as humorous a way as possible … here’s hoping I can run the long race without stumbling into the abyss.

      See you soon … I hear there’s more absurdity waitin’ round the corner.

    • Hey, JD … Thanks for reading and the support. Hope your TDay is filled with family love and peace … until we meet again … soon.

  5. You had me worried for a moment. I was going a totally different direction on the “Thumper” thing. I thought maybe you were planning on thumping anyone who mentioned Trump @ Thanksgiving dinner.

    Thanks for clearing that up!

  6. Hey Ratrie … Thanks for reading and for all your support …

    Naw … fortunately for me, my “thumping days” are gone. I’ve disrupted a table or two in my time, but I can’t afford broken dishes anymore.

    It’s amazing … I do wonder where all that testosterone went? Thanks again for reading.

    • Hmmm … I’m thinking there could be something seriously absurd about T-Rumping, T-Humping, T-Daying (and T-Baying!) while looking for the mysteriously missing T-Estosterone …

      Have a gorgeously fantastic Thanksgiving!

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