“Hey little girl, wanna sell me a cookie?”

‘Tis the season.  Yep … just like clockwork.

It’s that time when you hear the doorbell … and it’s not Amazon.com dropping off the package you ordered a few hours ago.  Prime pays, Baby!

You race to the door, fling it open and you’re greeted by the cherubic smile from the girl-in-green (now shadowed by a hyper-vigilant adult), with her Girl Scout satchel crammed with sugar ‘n spice and everything you’ve tried to avoid since last year.

It’s the Grand Girl Scout Cookie Sale-a-thon!  Yummy in my tummy!

God … If I could just find a way to fuse those choco-thin-mints with my martinis!

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Without buying all 12 boxes, I wanted to know which GSC tasted best.  Who better to tell us than the halfwit who conjured up the Cronut®.

Surely the guy who’s #1 on the “Let’s-All-Get-Fatter” list is the go-to-guy for the GS Cookie Taste Test.

According to Dominique Cronut® … at #1 is the Tagalongs/Peanut Butter Patties.  His descriptions sound like a wine taster’s orgasm over a newly discovered grape or impeccable vintage: “playful textures … fun … a lot of different flavors … balance … pretty good.”

C’mon Man!  We’re talking peanut butter cookie!

What about the choco-thin mints?  Cronut® ranked them at #6.  Right in the middle … boring!

Betcha he doesn’t drink vodka!

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What’s the record for number of boxes sold?   A 30-year-old Ronald Reagan Era record crumbled when OK City’s Katie Francis bested Elizabeth Brinton’s 18,000 boxes by selling 18,107 boxes of the sweets in 2014.

According to the teen-sales “mogulette,” it’s a snap … as in ginger snap.  You just ask every person you see how many boxes they want.

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GSC’s and weed?  No way … Yes way!

Go straight for the source and toke up on “Girl Scout Cookies,” a main dope strain that now includes the hybrids GSC Platinum and GSC Thin Mints.

One reviewer says, “….’GSC’ launches you to Euphoria’s top floor where full-body relaxation meets a time-bending cerebral space.”

I can hear Sesame Street’s Cookie Monster now: “Yummm!  My kinda cookies!”  So, ride ‘em cowgirls … you’re immortalized in dope!

Okay … I know The GS Council won’t discuss it because several very serious leaders and their attorneys take a dim view of attaching their cookie brand to a dope brand.

Killjoys!

But, hey pot growers … you can always change the name to “Mac-n-weed” and see how much appreciation you’ll get from the Ronald MacDonald crowd.

Just sayin’ …

6 thoughts on ““Hey little girl, wanna sell me a cookie?”

  1. As I’ve always suspected…..the Seriously Absurd One ISN’T “Oscar-the-Grouch”…he is, instead, the “Cookie Monster.”

    • Hey TL … Thanks for reading … You got it … soft spot in my non-existent abs for those Choco-Thin-Mints! What can I say … Besides, when I watched Sesame Street (for the kids, of course!) I ID’ed with Cookie much more than Oscar! What would you rather do: Live in a garbage can or eat cookies! C’mon Man!

  2. We visited a shop in Eugene last summer and saw some thin mint “product” that promised getting the munchies, sleepiness, and anxiety relief. They claimed it is perfect for evening use. Getting the munchies right now for some real, authentic Girl Scout thin mint cookies!

    • Hey GL … Thanks for all the support and for reading my stuff.

      Were you aware that the grown-up Girl Scouts, the A-Dolts, closed down a clever youngster who setup her cookie station right outside a Colorado dope shop? She was selling them like hot cakes and one of the other whinny-brat scouts reported her.

      Evidently, what she was doing wasn’t “appropriate for the image of the GSA.”

      But, the A-Dolts work against the girls by allowing all the big stores to sell cookies off the shelf now … I predict it’ll be an Amazon.com drone delivery this year! It’s a “yuuuuuge” and “bigly” biz now!

  3. calypsos. but i have not seen an actual girl scout in over a decade. it has been the mother of a girl scout. yeah, i put me down for two. and some thin mints. see you at the staff meeting in ten minutes.

    • Hi Jeanne … thanks for reading … Calypsos! Yes, they were fabulous. I tried to find out what happened, when they were dropped from the line. Nada … zilch … nothing! The Scouts are very secretive about their past cookie line(s) … must be some secret oath the bakers take! The “sales girls” don’t have a chance anymore. I bet that gal that sold 18K+ boxes really had to hustle … Hell, now I’d have my daughter set up an “online presence” and ship those suckers over to China, Japan, Thailand … break in new territories! What’s with the “Fuller Brush Door-to-Door” mentality?

      Appreciate your support … Remember the GS motto: “Kick right in the Cashew Crisps!”

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