Presidents and “Hunting” — Macho, Macho Man!

Most politicians hunt more than votes to prove they’re manly enough to bring home the bacon needed to fill the pork barrel called Washington.

Witness Teddy “Sure-they-named-a-cuddly-bear-after-me” Roosevelt.  He sure made it clear he was a “Big Game Guy” when he cleared the prairies and the African savannahs to establish his manhood.

Surprisingly, Jimmy “I’m-a-Bleeding-Heart-Liberal” Carter also was listed as a big time hunter.  Hard to believe … but he’s ranked in the top five “Presidential Hunters.”

Then there was the photo op debacle of John “Straight-from-LL Bean’s-Hunting-for-Dummies” Kerry, rifle in hand … posed desperately hoping to ooze maximum macho juice!

And even though he was only the Veep, we can’t forget Dick Cheney dumping a load of bird shot right in the face of his “sitting duck hunting partner!”

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Not to be outdone by this political “macho-madness,” our current President Trumplethinskin has let us know that, he too, is a hunter … but only as he can describe it.

Braggadocio Don brayed to the world, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.”  I’m not sure that’s hunting … but it involves a gun, pulling the trigger, and killing.

Maybe he’s our new urban style “Great-White-Hunter-President.”

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Here’s the downside of down-and-dirty Trump, the mythical hunter.

Our total non-outdoorsey, nature and exercise phobic, don’t make me walk a step … let alone a mile in your shoes President, recently Tweet-whined, “You’re witnessing the single greatest Witch Hunt in American History.”

Witch Hunt?  He said “Witch Hunt!”  Who doesn’t love a good old fashioned Witch Hunt?

“Hey Grammy, break out the marshmallows, grahams and chocolate … we’re havin’ a fat-assed Smores’ fire!”

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Trumplethinskin’s greatest “Witch Hunt” fear better be the throngs of “Nasty Women” after his scalp … wouldn’t that hunka-hunka-burnin’ orange hair look great dangling from an “I’m Proud and I Vote” woman’s g-string?

Trump quotes the false god of “MAGA” more than he does “Corinthians Two.”  Surely God fearing Jesus loving Evangelicals should pile the kindling high and sauté his ballooning bulbous witchy-ass for bowing down before “False Idols.”

It’s clear that Jeff “The-Troll-Who-Lives-under-the-Fallen-Bridge-of-Infrastructure-and-Lack-of-Memory” Sessions is a true Trumpian Warlock in collusion!

For just a hint of historical perspective … even a 5th grader knows that over 200 people were fried, drowned, stretched, dismembered, stoned, or otherwise subjected to “enhanced interrogation techniques” in the greatest Witch Hunt in American history … the Salem Witch Trials.

Now that’s real Witch Hunting!

Just sayin …

2 thoughts on “Presidents and “Hunting” — Macho, Macho Man!

    • Hey Rz … My guess if Sessions lives under the bridge and is a Troll, then his “Mastress” is Donald J. Trump and he’s therefore a “witch.”

      That’s about as logical as when they were dunkin’ the accused witches up in Salem … hey, just thought about it … Isn’t that like really early style “waterboarding?”

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