“Lookin’ for loofah’s in all the wrong places …”

 

Don’t know about you, but I thought I’d heard just about everything there was to hear about those wild and crazy Florida transplants living in The Villages, the largest 55+ community in the US.

Now I gotta admit I’m gobsmacked by the latest info leakin’ from this quasi-Disney-esque enchanted world for seniors.

We’re talking sex-athons in The Villages … that are initiated by loofahs hanging from the aerials of a lot of tricked-out golf carts … the primary means of Villagers’ transportation.

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Loofah’s have replaced the pile of hotel room keys or car keys used for hookups … so “Yesterday!”

Your “loofahed” golf cart is your personal and very public signature that you’re ready, willing and able to have sex … apparently just about any time, any place, with anybody.

What could be more public than racing through The Villages’ streets with your loofah making like that old “fox tail” riding the wind in your 1957 fire engine red Ford T-Bird?

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Living up to it’s reputation as one of the highest, if not THE highest rate of STD’s in the country – that’s right, country not county – The Village People seem to be amped up trying to makeup for a lost youth spent working, raising kids, mowing lawns, and in general having absolutely no fun.

That is until now!

Reports of golf cart sex … most don’t even have a back seat … bring to mind body positions that’re possible only if your creaky bones have been loosened and your muscles honed by months of Yoga, Pilates, Jazzercize and Zumba … all of which are conveniently offered right there in The Villages … along with a not-so-hidden-underground black market for Viagra.

There are a lotta Boomers in The Villages … and they’re determined to carry that Boomer Banner of carrying sexual records to their graves.

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Fueled by daily 11AM-to-Closing Happy Hours, everyday at The Villages replicates the halcyon days of Florida-Georgia football craziness in the old Jacksonville Gator Bowl.

But that was just one weekend each year.  In The Villages, it’s the weekend all day every day!

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So if you’re “tired of lookin’ for love in all the wrong places” and simply want to look for a hot, sexy loofah in the right places … why not give it a shot?

More than 150,000 people live in The Villages … and they can’t all be wrong … can they?

Just sayin’ …

16 thoughts on ““Lookin’ for loofah’s in all the wrong places …”

    • Hi Virginia … Thanks for reading … I used several “reliable sources” for the research on this Blog … WaPo, The Guardian & other newspapers, Huff Post, the Book Leisureville, and several blog sites.

      SNOPES has not reported on this topic, so I did email them the info … they say they look into interesting topics when notified and apologize for not having anything in their files.

      Interesting, because I also have heard these stories from several personal sources here in Mount Dora. I did confirm the STD statement with a nurse friend who works in the hospital at The Villages.

      My wife and I also lived close to The Villages (in our RV) when we were relocating from CT and did spend a good bit of time at dances, bars, restaurants there. Loofahs were not the deal then, but heavy drinking and public sex was observable.

      There are no police records since the local police/sheriff usually make an arrest only if the people involved are not “Village People.”

      Hope this helps you …

    • Hi Carla … Thanks for reading and commenting. Don’t let Edson go to The Villages … he’d be torn apart by the female prowlers there. He’s “red meat,” and I’m not talkin’ politics!

      Glad you had a good laugh …

    • Hey TL … It might be since the developer for The Villages was the power behind getting Leesburg’s mini-airport classified as an “International Airport.” Who knows … Loofah-Tanza may make the non-stop flight from Munich to Leesburg!

      Thanks for reading and all your support …

    • Hi Gail … Speechless is a good thing to be when you’re dealing with The Villages. The best read I’ve come across is the book, “Leisureville,” a balanced and in-depth look at the Villages … the writer spent a good bit of time embedded there.

      Mari & I frequented The Villages when we had our RV close by … It was a zoo then … weekends were totally out of control … the drinks for the day long Happy Hour were Yuuge and Biggly … at least 12 oz cups and all “doubles.” Amazing …

      Thanks for reading …

    • Hey Oops … I’m not sure all they’re doing on the courses is playing golf … It seems that some of the non-golf men “patrol” while the hubbies are on the course and their golf widows are home exchanging “bogies” for “boogies.”

      The place is fast and loose … no question about it.

      Thanks for reading …

  1. Yes, beware the Village people – Florida’s version of The Borg! In their unrestrained enthusiasm for “growth”, they have spilled over into three counties. At this rate, they will soon be asking to secede from Florida to create their own state!

    • Hey Mike … Thanks for reading … They don’t want to be a state … they get too many perks from the counties they’ve invaded … they’re a political force to be reckoned with … We actually looked at a couple of house up there but it was “too scary” for us … we called it “Disney for Seniors.”

      Thanks for all your support …

  2. Friends who live there tell this: it was observed from one of the dining rooms or bars one early afternoon that an “altercation” of some sort was going on beneath a cupola in the near distance, so a couple folk went to see, to make sure no lady was getting harmed or something like that. What they found was a threesome going on, two ladies and a gentleman. And the stat on STDs there is accurate, too. So is the rate of severe alcoholism at some of the communities therein.
    pmarthax

    • Hey PMartha … Thanks for reading and commenting … not surprised at the “alcoholism.” When we lived close by (in our motor home), we would go to The Villages to shop-eat-Sat Dances … always clean, no security issues … but there were a lot of drunk cart drivers … cars weren’t a problem … but someone was always wrecking or falling out of their golf cart.

      Appreciate your support …

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