Mueller Investigation Strikes Home

Just in on the HHL … HussHotLine.

After his “I-will-meet-anytime-anyplace showdown” with Bob Mueller, “45’s” positions on meeting have been doing 360’s like Linda Blair’s head in “The Exorcist.”  Sans projectile vomiting.

Lawyers for “45” are apoplectic.

They’re terrified he’ll impulsively slip out of the White House after scarfing down his two Big Mac, two Filet-o-Fish sandwich and chocolate malted dinner … for a clandestine slugfest with the one guy who can bring his kaleidoscopic reign to a screeching halt.

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The President’s lead lawyer, Ty Cobb, while sharpening his spikes and stealing second base, stated, “President Trump is fully prepared to go mano-a-mano with the #1 threat to the Free World … Attorney Robert Mueller.

He’s as hyped as Judge Roy Moore at a “Sweet Sixteen” cupcake party.  He really wants to get it on with Bob!”

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Asked if “45” would prep for the big showdown, Cobb rolled his eyes saying, “Of course.”

We’ve remade Rocky & Bull Winkle into six-minute segments of a Russia-Collusion-Conspiracy-Obstruction of Justice, mini-series.  He loves it … especially Natasha’s Eastern European dialect.”

He’ll be like, totally wired … and we’re not talking Diet Cokes, here.”

When asked to explain the concept of “totally wired,” Cobb just smiled and conspiratorially whispered, “Just you wait ‘Enry ‘Iggins … just you wait.”

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On the first day of their big meet, “45” shakes hands with Mueller and they seat themselves across the table in the Cabinet Room of the West Wing … each with a name plate … “45’s” bigger and lettered in gold.

After the preliminaries of name, date, location … Mueller asks the first question:

“Mr. President, did you or anyone on your campaign team collude with …. ?”

Before Mueller can finish, “45” jumps up kicking his chair from the table … his tiny trembling finger points at Mueller as he prepares to scream.

But all Mueller hears is a bellowed, “Mmmm-ararak-grriiiiilll-oooohmmm-screeeeekmeee-schmickishret.”

Gingerly falling back into his chair, “45” sucks in a deep breath and mumbles, “Mr. Mueller, I ………”

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Seated outside the Cabinet Room, Trump’s crack legal team look at each other with sneaky smiles and whisper … “I think we got just the right amount of zap to control ‘em.

Though, just maybe we should’ve placed the electrodes on his inner thighs instead of his ‘nads.”

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Just sayin’ …

Seriously in need of perspective …

Kaboom!  Kaboom! … fireworks explode …it’s the end of 2017 and the start of the New Year.

Slam that door on 2017… what a relief … a horrendous year!

Oops … we’re only seven days into 2018 and gobsmacked over the “fireworks” encountered.

Where to start?

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For sure The Weather Channel has overtaken the Dark Web as the source for threats to humanity.

As if we didn’t have enough to worry about with whose “nuclear button is bigger,” the riots in Iran, and “45’s” complete disregard for Russian digital attacks, we also started this weather year off with a “bomb cyclone.”

WTF?

Two words you never want to hear, “bomb” and “cyclone” … and when they form a compound word … grab your ass and run for cover!

Meanwhile the good folks at The Weather Channel repeatedly scream that more than 125 million people are threatened by this bomb cyclone … Ouch!

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On to Hollywood where we’ve got guys running around with their dicks in there hands yelling, “Now what am I supposed do with this damned thing?”

At the Golden Globes, the stars decided to dress in black showing solidarity for the “Me Too!” movement.  Good!

Better, would be to change the “red carpet” to black!

But I’m most concerned about the announced remake of “Cleopatra” … that Taylor-Burton classic.

“Dirty, bloody and lots of sex” … the words currently used to launch this extravaganza.  Promo I see … “Antony & Cleo get it on in 3D!”

Glad to see that the moral boost from Me Too! hasn’t raised the bar too high in Make Believe Land.

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I’m not even gonna try to go for “Fire and Fury,” Michael Wolff’s … BTW, great name for a literary hit-man … latest dose of Trump-life.

“Fire and Fury” … hmmm.  Haven’t we heard that phrase before?  Korea?

Is it just me, or do others see a connection here … Trump-Bannon-Wolff … lotsa money … Best Seller … mega publicity … three big time narcissists?

For “45” and 2018, it’s apparently just another day at the Trump Reality Show Circus.

If there is a merciful media god … who BTW has the biggest reality button … the show and the nuclear showdown will be cancelled midseason.

Just sayin’ …