Mueller Investigation Strikes Home

Just in on the HHL … HussHotLine.

After his “I-will-meet-anytime-anyplace showdown” with Bob Mueller, “45’s” positions on meeting have been doing 360’s like Linda Blair’s head in “The Exorcist.”  Sans projectile vomiting.

Lawyers for “45” are apoplectic.

They’re terrified he’ll impulsively slip out of the White House after scarfing down his two Big Mac, two Filet-o-Fish sandwich and chocolate malted dinner … for a clandestine slugfest with the one guy who can bring his kaleidoscopic reign to a screeching halt.

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The President’s lead lawyer, Ty Cobb, while sharpening his spikes and stealing second base, stated, “President Trump is fully prepared to go mano-a-mano with the #1 threat to the Free World … Attorney Robert Mueller.

He’s as hyped as Judge Roy Moore at a “Sweet Sixteen” cupcake party.  He really wants to get it on with Bob!”

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Asked if “45” would prep for the big showdown, Cobb rolled his eyes saying, “Of course.”

We’ve remade Rocky & Bull Winkle into six-minute segments of a Russia-Collusion-Conspiracy-Obstruction of Justice, mini-series.  He loves it … especially Natasha’s Eastern European dialect.”

He’ll be like, totally wired … and we’re not talking Diet Cokes, here.”

When asked to explain the concept of “totally wired,” Cobb just smiled and conspiratorially whispered, “Just you wait ‘Enry ‘Iggins … just you wait.”

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On the first day of their big meet, “45” shakes hands with Mueller and they seat themselves across the table in the Cabinet Room of the West Wing … each with a name plate … “45’s” bigger and lettered in gold.

After the preliminaries of name, date, location … Mueller asks the first question:

“Mr. President, did you or anyone on your campaign team collude with …. ?”

Before Mueller can finish, “45” jumps up kicking his chair from the table … his tiny trembling finger points at Mueller as he prepares to scream.

But all Mueller hears is a bellowed, “Mmmm-ararak-grriiiiilll-oooohmmm-screeeeekmeee-schmickishret.”

Gingerly falling back into his chair, “45” sucks in a deep breath and mumbles, “Mr. Mueller, I ………”

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Seated outside the Cabinet Room, Trump’s crack legal team look at each other with sneaky smiles and whisper … “I think we got just the right amount of zap to control ‘em.

Though, just maybe we should’ve placed the electrodes on his inner thighs instead of his ‘nads.”

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Just sayin’ …

2 thoughts on “Mueller Investigation Strikes Home

  1. I object! Strenuously. Vehemently. Unequivocally. Bullwinkle is one word! As in Bullwinkle Moose and Rocket J. Squirrel: A possible LGBTQ couple.
    Outside of that, however, this is a “fair and balanced” report. Kudos!

  2. wow! your narrative voice fits extremely well into the political columnist genre. your editorials get even funnier as they get more serious. (is that a paradox?)

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