Hey, Betsy DeVos … “You Ma’am, Are No Betsy Ross”

“Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!”

Prez 45’s created an opportunity for Betsy DeVos to shine … as his own “Special Woman of History” … vying to replace Betsy Ross.

BDV’s been given her own Klieg lighted stage … a national commission charged with making our schools safe.

And, her “Safe School Fight Song” undoubtedly will be that well known WWII chant!

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Just in case you’ve forgotten … BDV’s the one who thought it was a stellar idea to arm teachers out West.

“Aha,” you ask … “Is that the hotbed of school shooter incidents?”

Nope … it’s where teachers allegedly cower in fear of grizzly bear attacks.

Yep … our current “Secretary of Dismantleing Education” proposed arming those quaking teachers so they could pop a few caps into an enraged, mouth foaming, bear claw shredding, 10’ grizzly, marauding through school hallways … without a hall pass.

In spite of that “grizzly” flash of brilliance … and his earlier statements that all commissions are nothing but “talk-talk-talk”… 45 has empowered BDV to head his newest Federal Commission.

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With ears to the wall and balls-out determination, the crack Seriously Absurd staff garnered inside information on some of the Commission’s topics.

Arming teachers and staff isn’t enough …

Under the military tactical tutelage of Blackwater, her brother’s security firm, BDV proposes the training and arming of high school seniors.

The NRA … supporting any way to increase gun sales … promises to exhume Charlton Heston and his “cold, dead hands” to schedule personal appearances at participating school rallies.

Stronger support for Homeland Security’s “See something – Do something” slogan …

The Commission plans an AP college credit course for spotting and turning in illegal aliens.

Students would receive extra credit when the illegal alien is deported and his family devastated.  BDV has already insured acceptance of this AP course credit at all Evangelical Christian Colleges.

More “real life business experience” for students …

Walk-outs, demonstrations, and picnic trips to state capitols aren’t the best ways to prepare for the future.

Instead, every public school student will be required to enroll in a special 4-year “Amway Pyramid-Scheme-Course.”

BDV says it’s the only way to teach students her family axiom: You only make money if you get to the top!

She vows that this will harden high school students to the competition so they understand that lying and deception are the tools necessary to … “Make America Great Again!”

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It was reported that when asked if these were the best ways to improve school safety, BDV replied, “You sound just like that whiney-gunless-wonder-flag-sewing-b***h, Betsy Ross!”

Just sayin’ …

8 thoughts on “Hey, Betsy DeVos … “You Ma’am, Are No Betsy Ross”

  1. Let’s all take a moment to give thanks…that we’re OLD!
    We went to school (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth) walking uphill both ways in the snow…and all we had to worry about was NOT looking like a bag of Doritos to any passing Velociraptor. Let’s face it. Compared to today’s kids, we had it EASY!

    • Speak for your self, Oh TL … I never had it “easy” in school … except maybe in high school when I had a friend in the mimeo office and managed to get copies of tests in advance for several of my courses … but that was just luck.

      And besides … you’re mixing your time periods unless I can’t recall spending my hard earned rock dollars on Doritos … which I think hit the stores in the 1970s … or later. Unless of course, Velociraptors roamed the earth in then.

      But … thanks for reading …

  2. Ah, yes. This will fit nicely with His Prezness’ plan to cozy up to North Korea where their citizens are trained from birth to fink on each other as a means of survival.

    • Hi Gail … Yep … 45’s running fast & hard to install his own “policing forces” …

      He does continue to have one little problem, though … he can’t seem to find the leakers on his own staff … And, he hasn’t realized that every time he calls his friends at night to whine and complain, they’re on the phone dumping everything he’s told them … he needs to “turn himself in” and we’d all be in a better place!

      Thanks for reading …

  3. There is a March on Saturday at Lake Eola from noon til 3. ‘March for Our Lives’ is a student led protest calling for sensible gun control. I’m sure we’ll see educators standing with the students in this nationwide call for common sense legislation.

    • Hi Vi … Thanks for reading and for the good info on the Orlando area march (3/24) … Mount Dora’s planned one also … from Gilbert Park — 3/24 — 10AM-1PM … I really think it’s gonna be the “younger voters” who push changes in gun legislation through at the state and federal levels …

      I appreciate your support …

    • Hi GL … Thanks for reading and commenting …

      There are days when I think I just need to copy & paste headline news events … it’s really hard to beat every day happenings for seriously absurd living.

      But, when you have the Clown Cabinet, the Orange Erupter and his family, and the entire elected GOPers, I don’t have to set the bar very high to find material.

      He seems to be getting more and more absurd. I can’t keep up!

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