Championship for the Politically Aged

“Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!”

Forget about “The Thrilla’ in Manila” and “The Rumble in the Jungle.”  They were hissy-fits compared to what’s going down.

Two political heavy weights … literally and symbolically … issued the required initial taunts and insults to hold a winner take all “Championship for the Politically Aged.”

Already dubbed the biggest fight since David thwacked Goliath, the Biden-Trump “Match-for-Total-Macho-Male-Stupidity” is the most talked about event since … well, probably yesterday.

*****************************

The Tale of the Tape … “sizes-up” the combatants and in this case, paints a truly ugly picture of the two big mouthed behemoths.

Height:

Trump – 6’3” according to his NY State DL and his constituents … taller and mightier than an Oak.

Biden – 6’2” but bends in any wind … known to be a crier and already dubbed by Trump … “The Weeping Willow.”

Weight: 

Trump – yuuge and biggly … some say blubbery … others, big assed.

Biden – aged athletic bulges in all the wrong places … not Trumpian.

Girth: 

Trump – saddle this hoss and ride … he needs the exercise.

Biden – Wife Jill feeds him occasional salads … knows food other than Mickey Dee & KFC.

Hair: 

Trump – None that is really his … your basic million dollar weave job.

Biden – a few surviving nubs battle to be the “last-strand-standing” … Joe sticks with his GI cut.

Tall Tales: 

Trump – Has the advantage in a daily landslide of un-truthisms.

Biden – Has been known to hyperbolate when excited … some  compare him to the now for sure dead, Mark Twain.

****************************

Trump will train at Camp Mar-a-Lago … Biden holed-up with the Clintons in Chappaqua, NY.

Like Amazon, the GOP/DNC Bi-partisan Select Fight Committee … the only bi-partisan effort on this year’s calendar … is receiving bids from interested cities.

Rendville, OH … population of 38 … offered to host the fight as soon as they finish building bunk beds in Homer’s barn to accommodate the press.

Raiford, FL … home of the Florida State Prison (aka Raiford) wants to host the fight in hopes of offering their facilities as Trump’s post-presidency residence.  The fight would serve as a Realtor’s Open House with a tour and refreshments.

*******************************

Vegas set the odds at 2:1 that one or both of the lard-asses will get stuck in the ropes as they enter the ring.

Odds are 5:1 that Trump collapses in his Red Corner when they yank the stool out from under him for the first round.

Odds for cardiac arrest before the end of the first round are set at 2:1 for Trump … in spite of his Navy doctor’s health report.

Biden is slightly favored at 4:1 to at least throw a punch before the end of round 1.

It’s even money that Trump’s lawyers will sue Biden at the opening bell for the first round.

********************************

As for Seriously Absurd … this is two old-fat-white-guys in a stupid political stunt that will produce nothing beyond more bloviating … but Seriously Absurd’s got a $100 riding on Biden.

Just sayin’ …

7 thoughts on “Championship for the Politically Aged

  1. Hilarious! Thanks, Richard, Sadly, I actually can picture this in my mind’s eye.
    The two cartoons are perfect for this seriously absurd piece.

    • Hi GL … Yikes … that’s not a pretty picture … they would need to meet in the middle of the ring wearing moo moos … Ya reach a time when it’s best that you remain “an undercover agent” … and it’s sad these two don’t recognize that! Thanks for all your support …Abrazos …

  2. Okeee-Dokeee, I’ze be ‘a bettin’ on Trump. Afta all, ya’ll, he’s s’posed to be holdin’ a few secrets, ain’t he? He could be one uh them secret kick-boxers.
    On my udder hand, mebbe ol’ Joe ain’t got nuthin’ left for kickin’ I’ze shore y’all gets ma drift, hunh?

    • PMartha … Got you confused with that great southern voice, Uncle Remus. Was looking for Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox with that dialect you revealed. Thanks for reading and for the creative comment …

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *