Disneytizing Grimm Tales

Many of us spent our childhoods watching Disney films thinking that “When we wished upon a star …” good things would happen.

Walt and his minions at Disney sanitized stories … whitewashing the blood, gore and fear from early fairy tales … brainwashing millions who are now confused, old, people … totally unprepared for our current world!

If Walt had been smarter, he’d taken a lesson from the Brothers Grimm, Carlo Collodi, Hans Christian Andersen and the myriad of other moralists who told it like it was.

Back then, when we misbehaved, told lies, or didn’t wash behind our ears … there was “Hell fire and damnation to pay!”

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Look at Cinderella.

In the “Disneytized” version … podophiliac Prince finds girl with perfect foot … slips shoe on foot … kisses newly-foot-crowned princess … they live happily ever after.

Jake and Willy … those Brothers Grimm … had more imagination even though “Menchikaboolaroo” was never mentioned in their tale.

In the grim version … “If the ‘shoe don’t fit,’ you must … cut off some toes or slice the heel.”

So instructed the Grimms’ warped mother when she gave her daughters a butcher knife and demanded they … “put their best foot forward!”

At “Shoe Time” … the Prince thought something wasn’t quite right when he noticed a gnarly bloody foot headed toward his glass Jimmy Choo.

Hey … no one said the wicked mother was a Mensa Society Grand Dame and not just another greedy mother insisting her daughters “marry up.”

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Take a quick hop over the Alps to Italy for another Disney remake … Pinocchio … in which Walt collides with Pinocchio’s creator, Carlo Collodi.

“Happily-ever-after” Walt brings Pinocchio to life, escaping the perils of his own wooden-headed-stupidity … and allows him to continue as a happy little boy skipping down the lane with a moralizing chirp-talking cricket perched on his shoulder.

Collodi’s Pinocchio was no Disney creation.  Walt had a redemptive and moralistic side to him and his Pinocchio revealed that!

Collodi, however, wanted to tell the truth about children … especially boys.  He thought boys basically were “scummy little rodents” …  dirty, disobedient and grubby little liars.

And the townfolks agreed with Collodi thinking he was pretty damn accurate.

Instead of “happily ever after,” Collodi’s wooden-wonder-boy was hanged by his pencil-thin neck by angry townfolk …  when he told one too many lies.

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Hmmm … could be if “Little-Boy-Trumpty” had seen this version instead of the “Dizneytized” one, he might’ve thought twice about telling over 5,000+ lies as President.

Too late now … but there’s always hope for a “public lynching.”

Just sayin’ …

One thought on “Disneytizing Grimm Tales

  1. Sorry. Just can’t get past the “at midnight the hors d’oeuvres turn into hips and things” caption on the cartoon! I’ve fallen (laughing) and I can’t get up!

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