The Double-Dip Controversy

Lowes is selling Xmas decorations … Xmas music’s blaring on Sirius Radio … and Hallmark’s started their 2018 Xmas movie series.

The “Holidays” are here … ‘tis the Party Season!

So … it’s time we addressed a critical issue … “double-dipping.”

We’re not talking ice cream cones here … and, who knew double-dipping could cause such a furor?

Select your dipping chip … scoop dip … put the dip-laden part of your chip in your mouth … chomp … talk a bit … pause, turn and plunge your remaining gummed chip for a rerun.

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Immediately heads spin and whirl as if exorcized … eyes bulge … tongues wag … fingers point … shunning begins.

And you know many of those finger-wagging-party-goers are the same one’s who put their unused flatware back in the drawer instead of the dishwasher.

Or worse … rinse off the free chopsticks from their Chinese takeout … slipping them back into their little paper case for a rerun.

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The health impact of double-dipping’’s been extensively researched.

Though we’re not talking cancer, heart disease, or obesity depth of research … science has looked into this nefarious act of “bad, bad manners.”

For those of us who don’t live on the cutting edge of hygiene practices, the act of double-dipping is way overrated as a cause of the plague, polio, herpes, VD, or even the common cold.

“Show me the evidence,” you say?

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Give a “Shout Out” to Clemson University … and a real but probably obscure independent … “Germ Scientist!”  Both studies pointed out important details.

Crackers hold more mouth bacteria than chips.

More mouth bacterium lingers from a double-dip into cheeses and creams.

Salsa’s the way to go for D-D’s (Double-Dippers) … a double-dip into acidic salsa is “almost harmless.”

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The fact is, from head to toe humans are germ farms.  And on average, we touch our mouths, ears and eyes over 3,000 times daily!

You’re far more likely to “catch a bug” from hand shaking … hugging … touching door knobs … or looking at photos of adorable grandkids and pets on someone’s “filthy cell phone.”

Based on this info … double-dipping’s more of an argument for bad manners than it is for mimicking Typhoid Mary!

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So unless you go to your holiday parties in a full-body condom, don’t be throwing down on me … should you catch me “double-dipping.”

Just sayin’ …

2 thoughts on “The Double-Dip Controversy

  1. This is your shot at BIG BUCKS from late night TV ads!
    I can see it now. The No-Fuss-Huss-Personal-Dip-Caddy!
    Yes, for just $19.99 you get 12 plastic cups and 12 pieces of string so your guests can hang one around their necks and mix, mingle and munch the night away without polluting the public dip dish!
    BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE. Just pay a separate fee and get the No-Fuss-Huss-Handy-Dandy-Dip-Bib to stop unsightly dip drips on your holiday shirts or blouses! Make America Safe to Dip Again!

    • Love it TL … I’m makin’ “No-Fuss-Huss-Dip-Cups” in my basement now! Well, I need to make a basement first … but it’s still an excellent idea … I’ll have some just in time for Xmas … maybe they’ll rival all the buzz over the 2018 Starbuck’s Xmas java cups!

      Hmmm … have to brush up on my macrame skills, too … can’t use plain old kite string!

      Thanks for reading … yes, you’re in for your usual 10% …

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