Warning! Warning! We have a “fatberg” in DC

What’s composed of fat, flushed waste … is yuge and biggly, clogs and blocks systems … costs millions of dollars to manage … and it does not temporarily live in the White House?

If you didn’t think I was being truthful and you guessed “You-Know-Who,” then you’d be wrong.

Though they have a lot in common, I was referring to a current 21st century waste management problem … hmm … which also sounds very familiar to our temporary resident in the White House.

We’re talking about a neologism coined in 2013 and added to the Oxford Dictionaries in 2015 … it’s the dreaded “fatberg.”

And apparently no one’s immune to fatbergs … urbanites, suburbanites and “ruralites.”

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If your mind’s not a part of our worldwide sewer system, you might not be aware that a “fatberg” is the mastodon of sewer clogs.  Fuh-ged-about your plumber’s helper plunger on sale for $5.72 at WalMart, as your “tool of choice!”

Think of your own 6” line running from your bathroom(s) to either your septic tank or street side sewer … only bigger … much, much bigger.

The most recent fatberg to make the news was discovered in Sidmouth, England … a heretofore little known seaside town that’s now known more for it’s Leaning Tower of Pisa sized clog of sludge, oil, defecation, Wetwipes, Tampons, condoms, and anything else dimwitted humans choose to flush down the loo.

The Sidmouth behemoth is 210 feet long … longer than six busses lined up.  That’s a lot of s**t!

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Sure the Brits have enough to worry about with Brexit … talk about another type of “clog” in the system.

But the poor Brits aren’t the only ones dealing with this 21st century sci-fi sewer monster.

Baltimore, Denver and NYC also are in the running for world class fatbergs.  In the last five years, Manhattan spent $18,000,000 fighting its fatbergs.

Talk about Whoppers!

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In 2017, a piece of the record breaking 150 ton 820 foot London fatberg was put on display in the Museum of London.

C’mon folks!  No wonder you can’t solve your Brexit problem!

What were you thinking when you put a shoebox sized glob of London sewer s**t on display?

Surprise … surprise … it started growing toxic mold and breeding flies.

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Hmm … I don’t want to gross you out … but maybe we do have hope for what we having clogging up our White House.

Now where did I leave my WalMart plunger?

Just sayin’ …

 

One thought on “Warning! Warning! We have a “fatberg” in DC

  1. Holy shades of Star Trek, Batman!
    Once again you have boldly gone where no man has gone before and have uncovered a new species of Fatberg!
    Until this very moment I’d thought all congealed collections of fat, poop and non-biodegradable substances were only found in the GOP caucus of the U.S. Senate and looked a lot like Mitch McConnell!
    Now you tell me there’s a newer, bigger subspecies of Fatberg sloshing its way through the pipes that run under every home and office in America.
    ARRRRGGGGHHHH!

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