National Trump of July Party … “Hold that date!”

He couldn’t have his “toy soldier parade” … so he executed a hostile takeover of our national July 4th celebration … “Welcome to the Trump of July Party!”

You may soon know him as “Generalissimo Donaldo” … the guy who’s taking us below the level of an overripe-near-rotten Banana Republic … and maybe to the level of his much disrespected “S**t Hole Countries.”

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Surprisingly … D.C. taxpayers have been spared.

No tanks … armored vehicles … battalions of marching soldiers … trucks pulling long range missiles to prove El Donaldo’s red button’s bigger than Kim’s.

According to West Wingers … planning his “Trump-centered-biggest-ever-blowout-campaign-rally” has dragged El Donaldo away from binge watching cable news.

A recent screaming tweet from El Generalissimo himself … “Americans should “HOLD THE DATE!” on July 4 for a “Major fireworks display, entertainment and an address by your favorite President, me!”

What?  A speech from the Lincoln Memorial?  Poor Abe … his head’s gotta be spinning in his grave faster than Linda Blair’s in “The Exorcist.”

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Meanwhile, Seriously Absurd has learned that …

A burgeoning new program at Georgetown School of Law … “US Political Felony Law” … plans an “in-the-field-seminar” at the rally so students can witness real-time violations in campaign finance … the emoluments clause … and obstruction of justice as a result of El Generalissimo’s participation in what has been an annual “kum ba yah” event for all Americans.

According to AG Bill “Yes-I-Kiss-His-Ass-Nightly” Barr … “We will declare Georgetown ineligible for any federal funding as soon as Generalissimo Donaldo tells us why!”

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Plus … George Sorros has reserved every available room at Trump’s D. C. International Hotel for the weekend … for a “Yuuge and Biggly Dem Rally!”

All current Democratic presidential candidates have been invited to attend and “work the crowd” at an “Elect (Fill-in-a-Nominee-Here) Rally” held in Trump’s pride … the hotel’s Benjamin Bar and Lounge.

According to Eric “Please-Please-Someone-Call-Me-as-a-Witness” Trump … “I’ve asked Dad to deploy US troops to seal off the Ben Bar.  If we can send 120,000 troops to kick Iran’s ass … I’m sure we can spare a coupla’ hundred to repel a few Demo-rats!”

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And this just in … Kim has loaned his personal binoculars for Donaldo’s observation of the “100% made in China fireworks” extravaganza.

Also … China’s Xi Jinping, aka … “I’m-President-for-Life-and-You’re-Not” … has offered to personally pay the 25% Trump Tariff War up-charge levied on the fireworks.

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It’s tough being “El Generalissimo” … with no respect!

Just sayin’ …

2 thoughts on “National Trump of July Party … “Hold that date!”

  1. Is it just me or do I detect just the tiniest tinge of animosity towards the man in the White House inching its way into your writing from time to time? Or is that just a fig newton of my amalgamation?

    • Hey TL … Sure hope you’re enjoying your time “back home.” Thanks for reading … that’s not the “tiniest twinge of animosity” you detect … it’s full blown hostility and wonderment how this happened!

      I’ve spent a small fortune on Trump-a-voo-doo dolls preparing my self for 2020 … I think we Dems are gonna need help inspite of the imbecile we face!

      Come back soon … Florida and VB need you.

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