The dirtiest word … the “I-Word”

We all know there’s an Aderall-addicted-tantrum-prone-narcissistic-preschooler currently running the White House … but now we’ve sunk to a new low!

To placate this spooked apparition of a President, our elected officials … and non-news-pundits … have taken to using what they refer to as … the “I-Word!”

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Uh-oh … I flashback to a scene in my less than stellar days as a 5-year old.

My parents whispered about something I did … or did not do … and they didn’t want me to know what they were talking about.

They looked at each other … mom’s arms flapping exasperated … dad with his hands on his hips perplexed … me wondering what atrocity I’d committed and waiting to see whether I was sentenced to … No dessert … No playtime … My mouth washed out with soap … Or ideally, just sent to my room.

I vaguely recalled hearing … “He used the ‘S-Word.’”

The “S-Word” is one thing … but aren’t we adults now … or at least some of us?

What’s with this “I-Word” s**t?

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So I turned to the “new digital thesaurus-at-my-fingertips” … Dr. Google … and searched for words that begin with “I.”

Holy S-Word … there are 35,979 words that start with “I.”

I searched 4-letter words … which are my vocab strength … hoping I’d unearth the “I-Word” these erudite duly elected federal representatives were refusing to utter!

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The dirtiest 4-letter word I could find was “isba” … a “Russian log cabin.”

I’m kinda thinking that anything Russian could set off an early AM tweet-storm-rant-riot … but I don’t think “isba” is the I-Word of the day.

Immigration and infrastructure start with an “I” … and they both represent disastrous attempts at governance by our Liar-in-Chief.  Nope … not them.

Integrationist?  Nah … they would have used the “WS-Words” instead … “White Supremacist.”

I discounted “inalienable” because that’s a word that appears in our Declaration of Independence … a totally unfamiliar document to “His Ignorancy” … our President.

After an exhaustive run through the 35,979 I-Words, I hit on the one that seemed to fit our current situation.

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I-M-P-E-A-C-H-M-E-N-T … an 11-letter word that any middle or high school student who has completed Civics would know.

So how does our Leader of the Free World define the “I-Word?”  At a recent Press Gaggle he said, “It’s a dirty, filthy and disgusting word.”

Hmm … I’m thinking he was projecting his own behavior on this poor truly innocent I-Word.

Just sayin’ …

16 thoughts on “The dirtiest word … the “I-Word”

  1. On behalf of peaches everywhere, I object!
    Why isn’t the word “implum” or “impear”?
    What did peaches ever do to get dragged into any conversation involving He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-But-Likes-To-Call-Himself-The-Tariff-Guy?

    • Aha, TeeL … the peaches of the world would stand and salute you if only they had legs and feet! Instead they must remain the objects of radio shock jock Don Imus’ sexual innuendo banter about being “warm and fuzzy” as in “Are your peaches warm and fuzzy.”

      At least I escaped a Shakespeare reference … Thanks for reading and commenting …

  2. Richard, I just browsed those same 35,979 words and found one that you missed. “Idiot”. No, not you!!! As in idiot in charge!

    Great blog!!!!!!

    • Whew … I thought for a minute you’d turned on me! Thanks for clarifying that “I’m not in charge!” I’ve worked hard to no longer be in charge of anything.

      I always appreciate your reading and your comments and will remain your own “personal idiot” … which is a term of endearment coming from you!

      Thanks for reading …

    • Wow … I always feel better when I know for a fact that you’ve read my stuff … Thanks Rachel … I did have fun poking the “Idiot” in this one …

  3. An impeccable post that can’t be impeached – impressive!

    I’m left wondering though, did you skewer, slash or sever something with the SWord?

    • Three “I-words in your opening sentence … kudos, Mike.

      As for my first use of the “S-Word” … I told my sister I was gonna knock the “S-Word” outta her. The little “B-Word” ran straight to mom, who was the Queen “B-Word” in the family, and she ratted me out to dad who introduced me to my first bar of Ivory Soap … which I think was 99.44% pure at the time.

      And as you can tell from my language now, it never made an impression on me!

      Thanks for reading!

      • I think you’re trying to tell me you corrupted the imperfect purity of Ivory Soap?

        Hmmm … it must be why they no longer tout the percentage

    • Hi Marian … Thanks for reading ,,, though “Imbecile” is a great descriptor for our current “Acting President,” an idiot is allegedly lower on the IQ scale than and imbecile … So I’m going with idiot this time … Also, I think in retrospect, Rex Tillerson was very kind when he referred to you-know-who as an “effing moron.”

      Good to hear from you … thanks

  4. Great column, Richard, and your I-Word choice is definitely appropriate!

    But another possible I-Word for treasonous-trump would be: “imbecile.”
    And I love its Webster Dictionary definition, especially its “qualifying” last portion — “a person of defective mentality, but above the level of an idiot.”
    I’m thinking the narcissist-in-chief would take this definition of “imbecile” as a compliment: “I told you I wasn’t an idiot!”

    • Yo, Snake … “Trump-ecile” would definitely claim that he was smarter than the average idiot and be proud of that.

      He would look for his ranking and make sure that his base was aware that he could handle that “idiot Biden” in 2020.

      I’m already getting depressed and wondering what the Hell I’m gonna write about come January 2021 after we haule him outta the taxpayers’ White House!

      Thanks for reading …

    • GL … Thanks for reading … I’m always happy when I see your name show up in my “Reply” box … hope all’s well with you … Abrazos, amigita …

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