Alpha Wolf or Alpha Wuss

Think you want to be an alpha male? You might want to think again – the job description is a little different than you might expect. No strutting around, showing your stuff, bossing people around while others stare in awe admiring your prowess.

It turns out that the alpha wolf can teach us alpha male wannabes a few lessons on the true “alpha-ness of life.”

Scratch Dirty Harry, nee Clint Eastwood, and hook-up with your inner Orlando Bloom. OMG, humility, is the key to true alpha maleness.

The alpha wolf, a.k.a. leader of the pack, leads by, oh so boring, quiet example. No snarls, snaps, ferocity and aggression unless it’s do or die for the life of the pack. In human terms, he uses his influence to help the pack “git ‘er done.”

Horror of horrors, the alpha wolf is the consummate adult, not a snotty teen or arrogant twenty-something–Justin Bieber need not apply.

As if this weren’t bad enough for we alpha male wannabes, turns out female alphas, not male alphas rule the roost, a.k.a., the den.

The female alphas aren’t just minding the den watching the cubs while hubby-wolf leads the other males on a hunt to bring home the bacon. The female alphas are hunting and heading pack homeland security alerting alpha males when it’s time to lead the troops out on defensive maneuvers.

When not on pack lockdown, Alpha males are the “pupmeisters”–nurturing and teaching by example. Not just plumped in front of the wolf version of Wii or Xbox LXXV (75 for those of you who don’t count Roman.)

Do you think there’s something we men can learn from this? Is there more to being an alpha male? Should we be tuning into our inner-wolf, rather than being loud and obnoxious, acting like we own everything and everyone?

Should male “Wallstreeters,” politicians, tech giants, and corporate bigwigs rethink their “big bully” approach to pack management. Could it be that if they don’t, an alpha female might just end up leading the pack. OMG! Armageddon awaits!

Just sayin’.


10 thoughts on “Alpha Wolf or Alpha Wuss

  1. “hubby-wolf leads the other males on a hunt to bring home the bacon”……

    OMG! Does that mean the meat aisle at Publix will now be “packed” (sorry) with male wolf-wannabes shopping for breakfast food? Will they cook it once they buy it? Would anyone even attempt to “wolf it down” if they did?

    • Most of us hunters have been reduced to the gathering process and that gathering process is no longer yanking berries from bushes and roots from soil … so, yes … you will see many alpha wolf wannabes in Publix functioning as gatherers.

      I have adjusted rather well to the role of omega wolf in my pack. Even Rani ranks ahead of me and she’s a frickin’ poodle!

      The closest I come to “wolfing” something down is when I attack my arugula in my goat cheese and beet salad. Thanx for reading my stuff!

  2. It is not unusual for a pack to also have a co-alpha male and leadership roles between the two can wax and wane. Any implications here for the traditional marriage unit? Just askin’…

  3. Hey … At the risk of being relegated to the “wolf house” in my backyard, I’ll say that there are no implications for the current marriage unit. I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I’m not suicidal! I was also always a proponent of co-leadership … great opportunity to “blame the other wolf!”

    I was apprehensive about “wolf information” going to you since 1) I think you’re part wolf and 2) you are the photographer “who runs with wolves.” Thanx for supporting my blog!

  4. You wannabe Alpha Males are so cute, we females just want to keep them around for the fun of it. Where else does a pat on the head get such amazing results.

  5. Ouch … Reality really does bite! A most excellent observation on wise alpha she wolf writer! Excuse me, but I’m running to the bedroom for a few “head-pets.” Grrrr, howl, yip-yip … and all that wolf stuff!

    Thanks, Ella for reading my stuff!

  6. Don’t touch my Grand Torino…I’m headed toward the produce section.

    • “Grand Torino” was simply and aged version of “Dirty Harry.” Clint should ride into the sunset and strike up conversations with all the empty chairs he finds at the side of the trail. Probably should marry a young nurse’s aid for his final years as a wannabe alpha wolf. He’s lost his snarl.

      Thanks for reading my stuff …

  7. You might also consider being a female-friendly male baboon. When the aggressive males are wounded or get old and weak, the females drive them from the troop and they spend their last days alone, unable to fend for themselves. On the other hand, the males who have always been good to the females are now taken care of within the troop. Fed, groomed and tended to, they are highly regarded elders. It’s good to be an old baboon.

  8. Wow, C … what an inspiration for me … I’m gonna vacuum the house and do the dishes immediately. Also, call Debi, Mickey, Donna and Brenda to see if they want me to do anything! Can I help you in some way? I ain’t takin’ no chances … I’m one smart Baboon!

    I love “nit pickers” … sexy fingers running all over my baboon body! Thanx for reading my stuff!

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