It Looks like Ireland to Me

I have a dirty little secret.  You’ve got to promise you’ll still act like you know me once I’ve shared it with you.

Every morning I walk on trails where large birds have left deposits that no bank would accept.  They remind me of the internationally acclaimed kid’s book, “Everyone Poops,” in which the author describes how everything that eats – mammal, fish, fowl – poops.

So there!  If it’s a legit kid’s book, I’m sure we can talk about a bit of bird s**t here.

Being a curious soul and possessing a way-bent brain, one morning it dawned on me that bird poop is Mother Nature’s parallel to Hermann Rorschach’s ten panel test of ink blots.

As in, “What do you see in this s**t?

You can’t tell me honestly that all these years you’ve walked around, stepped over or looked at bird poop you’ve never said to yourself, “That looks like ….”

Come on.  You know you have.  It’s like cloud watching.

Just to make sure I wasn’t going crazy, I Googled “bird, poop, art” and voila, several artists/writers’ names appeared who have in some way utilized bird poop as an art form or form of art.  Whatever.

Now I’m relieved, but also disappointed because it’s obvious some folks have put way more time and energy into this bird s**t than I have … or, ever will.

I just wanted to find ways I could be “present in the here and now” while I walked instead of being in my head and missing the beauty in everything … including bird s**t.  When I notice all the little things, it keeps my mind from taking its own walk about, and believe me you don’t want to go there.

So, I do have a purpose when I walk – to stay in the present moment – and I now also have a sideline – to analyze the bird poop plops in my path.

My only problem with this grand scheme is, to my utter disappointment, all the bird s**t I see in the mornings looks like Ireland.  Maybe it’s me.

Just sayin’.

Take a look at this fascinating work of an artist who “plays” in bird poop:”



12 thoughts on “It Looks like Ireland to Me

  1. Couple of years ago I met Victor at Yellowstone NP, a guy who printed his artwork on paper made from Bison dung. I bought one and sent it to my girlfriend.

    “Just like you,” I told her, “cool as shit!”

    She dumped me.

    But I still like the artwork. See for yourself at the website, “Dung & Dunger.”

  2. Oops … thanx for reading my shit! Glad we have something more in common … a fascination about shit as art.

    I don’t think your shitty girlfriend dumped you … I think she dumped “on you.” just sayin’

  3. O.K., confession time. I am into “owl pellets.” They are supposedly sterile because of the acids in the owls’ system, but even if they weren’t nothing will prevent my looking for them at the bases of trees if I’m in the woods, especially when up east, Vermont, Connecticut. They are soft, with some feathers in sometimes, and dry, and if you pull them apart you can find mouse skin, little claws, little teeth, you never know what. Loved the Sue Mitchell site, too, will be writing her a note. What a cool woman. Especially inspiring, momentarily, was the sentence written over and over on a whiteboard: “Start before you are finished.”
    Also, a nasty comment: her exhibit of bird poop certainly ranks higher in aesthetics than does the film made by an MFA student at Yale of her self-induced abortion (later criticized by its inauthenticity, for whatever that is worth), and saving the “products” of it between laminated plastic sheets, exhibiting it as her MFA show along with the video. There was a huge controversy, but, Yale being Yale, the “art slut” was granted a degree. I’ll never get over it, but thankfully don’t remember it very often anymore.
    Yours, p. marthaxx

    • PMartha … What a scream! I’ll be on the lookout for owl pellets. Maybe they have them at Whole Foods or Trader Joes, assuming of course, they are edible.

      Thanks for readin’ my “shit” and for commenting.

  4. What is it Gene Weingarten calls his WaPo column? Chatalogical Humor? Or is it Scatalogical Humor?

    Oh, Herr Huss! You’re missing an opportunity here! Five will get ya ten there’s a bird poop grant available somewhere (other than Ireland) that you might want to look into!


    • I used to follow Weingarten before everything was posted online. He was a riot then and probably still is. Thanx for the memory nudge.

      There are several books of photography that are published re: bird shit art … I think there is also a guy that did bird shit ties. I actually bought a book of bird shit photos on auto windshields. Fascinating shit!

    • Hey … thanx for reading and commenting. I don’t think my mother’s efforts to “wash that shit outta my mouth with soap,” were very effective. What a horrible experience … several times I had it done. Guess I’ll never f’ing learn to stops saying shit. just sayin’

  5. I don’t know whether to be amazed or amazingly disappointed that such a s****y story has received a bunch of s****y comments.

    I can say that I am certain I have washed away priceless(?) art over the years from boats and docks covered with artistic … expressions.

  6. Hi Mike … thanx for reading and for commenting.

    I vote for being amazed. Turn this s**t into something positive.

    Now maybe you’ll look before you eradicate Mother Nature’s attempt to provide you with a “Natural Art” experience. Then you can hose it down with a memory.

  7. Castanza … so glad you take the time to read my s**t regularly…it’s always good to be regular when you’re talkin’ s**t!

    Great observation. I often wondered how Pollock created all that s**t he called painting. Now, i don’t have to sit through the movie. Thanks for clearing that up … and thanx for the support.

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