Just like “Sharknado,” Donald Trump rains down on the GOP in a hurricane of destruction and devastation.

“Hello, Grand Ole Party.  I am your worst nightmare,” yells the Donald, sounding like Jack Nicholson in “The Shining” as he brings his reality TV ax to the GOP primaries.

Trump plays the media like a maestro romancing a Stradivarius.  Heedless of the treasure he’s clutching, he makes screechy, “look-at-me, look-at-me music” never before wrenched from the instrument.

And the media’s pissed because they know he’s playing them, too.  But they continue to dance to his cacophonous Strad lusting after the “ratings” and money he puts into their career coffers.  Let’s see, who looks worse here–Trump or the media?

If I hear members of the media say one more time, “He’s sucked-up all the oxygen in the room,” I think I’ll stick a pencil in my eye.  Then I could at least make “one-eyed Dick” jokes.

Trump has the impulse control of a sleep deprived two-year old.  He’s made Chris Christie’s tough New Jersey style, resemble Little Bow Beep weeping over lost sheep.  And remember, Christie’s the one who said “Politics ain’t bean bag.”

Well, politics ain’t bean bag now … it’s Russian roulette with the gun pointed at the other candidates and Trump’s finger on the trigger.

GOP heads beseech Trump to get out, saying he’s bad for the Party, which is kind of like saying botulism is bad for salmonella.  Sure, he might be bad for that “Party,” but he’s great at throwing a big-assed party for the rest of us.  Witness his Iowa barbecue served from silver chaffing dishes rather than takeout boxes.

“He’ll peak,” the candidates yell.  Bloviating political pundits forecast is imminent demise.  But week after week, Trump comes up with a list of new targets and epithets to stoke the media frenzy.

“The Apprentice” lasted for 14 seasons – 185 episodes.  Don’t you think he can hold out for a measly year of primaries?

You’ve got to hand it to the Trump-meister, he’s electrified the campaign as he roasts his opponents with the regularity of a Presto Hot Dogger.

Thanks Donald!  I salute you for turning the GOP primary into a pumped-up political version of the “Terminator,” all the while screaming, “I’ll be ba-a-a-ck.”

I don’t know about you, but I think I’ll take the Trump-inator at his word.

Just sayin’.

22 thoughts on “Trump-Nado

  1. Wasn’t it H.L. Mencken who said, “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public?”

    • Whoever it was, he/she/they were right! We forget that 50% of the population is “below average” with regard to thinking skills.

      Thanx for reading my stuff …

  2. I just can’t figure out one thing: why in the world is there no bumper sticker yet that says, “Stump for Trump!” He’s amazing entertainment, highly clever, and I get the biggest kick out of the pundits who swear what he’s up to is winning Hillary the Presidency. (Well, if she’s gonna get it, something drastic does need to happen, eh?).
    I have a dream, like a certain kind man some years ago: America finally may get a good President. Call me crazy, but sometimes when you get all the worms out of the holes, you can find some good Earth down there. It may look like rubble on the top, but, hey, you can grow carrots!! Cheers! Your Marthaxx

  3. PMartha … you really know how to “stir the pot.” I like your “Stump for Trump.” There are a lot of ways that could be interpreted … Send it to them and ask for $$$ … they got somewhere between 2.5 & 10 billion.

    I love carrots and I’m sure to wash them thoroughly since I have no clue as to what they were grown in!

    Thanx for reading my stuff.

  4. I’m sure you realize it isn’t at all about Trump. He has simply tapped into a deep seated massive resentment of our broken system of government. He’s only saying what millions of Americans already think. He may not go anywhere in this election, but any other outsider could have tapped into that same resentment and achieved the same results.

    • Hi Mike … Just a correction in my reply to you … I mentioned “Ben Webb.” That should obviously be “Ben Carson.” Thanx for reading my post.

  5. Mike… Welcome to Seriously Absurd and thanx for tuning in and reading my stuff.

    I’m not so sure that “any other outsider” could have taken advantage of the anger in our current politics as well as Trump apparently has done. He does have a set of characteristics and style that makes him close to “one of a kind.”

    The anger is there to be tapped and it obviously can’t be tapped if you’re a politician … Other outsiders, Ben Webb, Carly Fiorina and Mike Huckabee have not appealed to the angry group(s). Trump’s set of skills matches the perceived “needs” of the angry crowd … for now. It will be interesting to see how the GOP race develops and what Trump ultimately does.

    Thanx again for reading my stuff.

  6. I’m with H. L. Mencken. And I would add that a society gets the leaders that it deserves. (You can quote me on that). 🙂

  7. Oops … Thanx for chiming in … I’d rather quote you than HL.

    Personally, HL’s best quote is “Life is a dead-end street.”

    I think it a bit harsh that society gets the leaders it deserves. I think it might be more fun if leaders got the society they deserve.

    After a good many years striving at leadership, and failing, I’ve decided that leading only leads to maintaining a lead just long enough for the leader to be overtaken. I’ve decided to stay in the middle and graze with the herd … at least for another week.

    • Steve … thanx fro reading my stuff … I’ll bet a good many Republican RWs have already dreamed of a Trump-Palin ticket.

      I think it would be a hoot because the Inaugural Balls would be quite an extravaganza with Trump’s money and Palin’s family brawls at parties. The folks in Alaska would be thrilled to finally be rid of the Palins.

  8. Trump can buy , but he cannot be bought . He is rocking our political junkies boat . The good old boy’s club who reproduce us every day on both sides of the aisle are very afraid …. be very , very afraid if you hold a Senate or a Congress seat . The Donald has you in the cross hairs . He may have them by the testicles then ” their hearts and their minds will follow ” to paraphrase Richard Nixon . Donald has only one thing to remember ” The higher the monkey climbs the tree the more you can see off his ASS !! Good night and God bless us all and God save the USA , R .

    • Ron … Welcome to Seriously Absurd & thanx for reading my stuff.

      To your point, Trump touts that he “cannot be bought.” He’s already publically stated that when Lobbyists approach him, he’ll tell them, “Go away … I don’t need your money.”

      As for Nixon and testicles, that’s a phrase I have loved for years … Sure beats the old Chicago statement brought to life by Christie, “Politics ain’t beanbag.”

      I think the gods (all of them) need to bless the USA and Scotland … If we as a country could only be loved for bringing golf and Scotch to the world … and underwear-less kilts, too! Careful of my “dirk.”

      Thanx again for reading.

    • Wilder … Thanx for reading … Love it … The Trump-ettes soon to be featured at the Inaugural Balls.

      Do you think he’ll have them in real gold gilded bird cages swinging above the wildly gyrating GOP Dancing Donors? He surely has made politics into “Reality TV.” Go-Go Trumpster … the entertainment deprived political junkies love you!

      Thanx again for reading …

  9. Little Bow Beep?? What, are you afraid of violating Mother Goose’s copyright?

    The Donald’s opinion of himself as a violinist, or anything else for that matter, clearly runs like this: “I must be great, because I’m getting UUGE crowds, I mean they’re bigger than anyone’s! Oh, and I have billions of dollars!”

    Kinda reminds me of a certain media outlet that claims they must be the best at what they do because they have the best ratings.

    • Aargh … I can blame Spellcheck!

      Hey, I’m glad you’re reading Seriously Absurd, and reading it with care. I put an error in each one to see who gets the “SAGE Prize.” That’s the Seriously Absurd Grand Errata Prize! You won this week!

      I think Trump’s the first to have a lot of fun with politics. As he says, “I don’t need the job.” As for being self-delusional, isn’t that what megalomania is all about? A person amplified to the point of being “seriously absurd?” Just sayin’.

      Thanx for reading … I’ll bet you can’t find next week’s hidden SAGE.

  10. Hey Kudo’s for not pulling the “hair trigger” and contributing yet another bad hair joke into the ring.. It showed great constraint on your part (the “par”t …part was not meant as a pun! but now food for thought … Gaze into the Crystal Ball…. The Donald is leading a large number of polls… leading all Republicrats, that is, and now Joe Biden is talking about throwing his hat into the ring. Biden, Hillary and Bernie split the Democratic vote and Newspaper headlines such as TRUMP TRUMPS! announces what might not be so far fetched an outcome. OYE!!!!!

  11. Had some Hair-of-the-Dog quips but they didn’t make it past my Editor … good thing … they are tired humor now.

    I am already jotting down craziness of the Trump-Palin Inauguration Balls … His money and her brawling family will make quite a scene as they Bunny Hop thru DC. Can’t wait for the 1st Sate Dinner when Trump’s 16 year old wife needs to be read a story before her bedtime … 8PM. The Palins will all be stealing the silver and the ashtrays out of the White House.

    BTW … Biden’s not gonna go for it … Hillary will make him Sec of State … a better deal.

  12. 16 August 2015 I think I’m gonna caucus for Trump and Stump my way up to Alaska for the Inaugural Balls. Always wanted to see Alaska.
    The Donald’s performance in Iowa was blemished by his charging $25 for a ride in one of his helicopters. But then, money is his “lingua franca” so it’s no surprise that he’s made the ride into a “deal.”
    The only thing missing was a photo-shoot of Trump sinking his gob into one of the fabulous cream puffs available at that fair. Imagine it: French pastry up against that hair!! Sorry, couldn’t help myself!!
    Wonder what they do with the Butter Cow when it’s all over? Anybody know?

  13. PMartha … You’re kidding me. He charged for the ‘copter rides? I’ll have to check that out.

    Correct you are … It’s one thing to eat “stick food.” It quite another to bury your mug in a overstuffed cream puff!

    My guess is the “butter sculptures” become another part of our willingness to waste food. Bag ’em up and tote ’em out to the neighboring landfill. The other choice would be to bake 50,000 biscuits and let everyone carve out massive hunks of butter

    Thanx for reading. for the fresh hot biscuits!

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