Have you ever heard “cris-cross applesauce?” WTF, you ask? Cris-cross applesauce!
The PC Police have invaded preschools and determined that sitting “Indian style” is verboten. To teach the little buggers how to sit cross legged, teachers have been told to use this cutsey little rhyme, “cris-cross applesauce.”
Let’s face it, kids are going to find out they’ve been sitting “Indian style” while they’ve been cris-crossing their applesauce. Then we’ll have to explain how insulting the term sitting “Indian style” is to Native Americans.
And, aren’t kids gonna be puzzled when they find out we have pro sports teams named the Cleveland Indians, the Washington Redskins and the Atlanta Braves … but we can’t sit “Indian style?”
Who are these self-appointed language janitors scrubbing up our speech? Are there PC Police pouring through their outdated Funk and Wagnalls handing out death sentences to de-selected words?
Here are some words already executed.
Swamp … A no-no. “Wetlands” is so much friendlier. Who wants to protect a muddy, smelly, insect infested, reptile filled swamp? Can you hear the Florida Gators welcoming rival teams to “The Wetlands” and not “The Swamp?” I don’t think so.
Jungle … Nope. Try rainforest. Jungles are filled with dentist eating animals. Rainforests are filled with Disney characters and songs. Jungles are filled with head shrinking cannibals. Rainforests are filled with Macaws and tree frogs. Get it?
Foreign … So rude. It’s now “international” – much more sophisticated. The Turner Network’s World Championship Wrestling performers ran into a PC problem in the late 1990s. When The Hun bashed our homegrown hero in the head with a chair, the chair was no longer a “foreign object,” but instantly became an “international object” used in an international incident. True … no s**t!
I just read that the phrase “politically correct” is up for review and may be declared, well, “politically incorrect.” It seems that the term politically correct has been so misused and misunderstood it’s become ineffective thus causing it to dwell in the land of nonsense. To be politically correct may soon no longer be … well, politically correct.
Could it be that we’ve finally plunged into an alternate reality of politically correct incorrectness?