What Ever Happened to “Fahrvergnugen?”

Volkswagen has a problem.  Not a “Beetle” sized problem.  More like an entire Germany sized problem.

They’ve been bitch-slapped big-time for cheating on emissions in 11 million diesel model cars.  It’s a slap heard around the world.

VW’s top people admitted the whole plan was … well, planned!  What?  They admitted it?  That only happens on TV courtroom drama!

And, guess who nailed ‘em?  Nailed ‘em good.  Yeah, they had some outside help … but still, they nailed ‘em.

OMG … it’s our EPA!  Yes, that EPA … Our EPA.

One of the agencies, Rick “I’m-Not-Running-for-President-But-I’m-Keeping-The Money” Perry, wanted to defund and discontinue.

Yes, that Rick Perry.  A one percenter.  No not at the top of the financial food chain.  It’s THAT Rick Perry …  a one percenter at the bottom of the GOP candidate food chain.  Not such a hot idea now Rick!

But VW’s problem isn’t the EPA.

It’s not absorbing the billions of dollars they’ll most likely shell out.

It’s not even the jail time some of their decision makers could serve.

What Volkswagen has is a simple PR problem.

They don’t need to spend waves of money on market research.  It would be a waste and they won’t have any money after paying the fines and consumer law suits.

First … ditch the bickering old ladies with the cute accents taking test drives in the “clean diesels” … diesels with zip and maneuverability.  VW doesn’t need more video proof they were “taking people for a ride.”  That’s called fraud.

VW needs to hark back to happier times.  The 1990s.  Everyone was making money, spending it and having fun.

That’s when we thought the “good ride” would last forever and VW gave us “Fahrvergnugen.”

 Fahrvergnugen was everywhere.  There were Fahrvergnugen ads, decals, and clothing.  It was on vanity license plates … at least abbreviated.  It actually made it into our lexicon via the “Urban Dictionary:”  “the act of felating someone who is driving an automobile (especially a Volkswagen).

So, Fahrvergnugen was in marketing terms … the cat’s ass!

But, the days of Fahrvergnugen are long gone and VW needs an immediate makeover.

A conceptual word.  One that will grab us emotionally just as Fahrvergnugen did.  One that’s descriptive.  One that let’s us know just what VW did to us.

That’s why I propose “Fuchen-yu-gen” as VW’s next big slogan.  Yes … they did it to us!

Just sayin’.

10 thoughts on “What Ever Happened to “Fahrvergnugen?”

  1. I got unzipped and “Fahrvergnugened” a few times while driving (erratically) my VW bug. I don’t suppose the EPA would have approved of my emissions either. :

    • Oops … You old rascal and VW Bug lover! I do recall seeing your old VWs in photos and I always thought the stains were rust fro road wear. Little did I know.

      The EPA would definitely declare your emissions environmental waste hazards.

  2. Gott im Himmel , Richard !

    Bist du immer noch wütend über die dummen Missverständnis zurück in den 1940er Jahren über ganz Polen und die meisten der Rest von Europa … ..oder haben Sie noch nie in einem VW geblasen nehmen ?

    • Tom … you multi-lingual talented fella, you! Thanks for reading and commenting. And, my answers are:

      “Nein und ja.”

      What’s a little world war and several million civilians slaughtered among the armies of the world?

      And the sex act was not committed in my VW … I just happened to be the lucky driver!

      “Bis nachste Woche!”

  3. THAT, unreservedly and without any further blether, is your very best one yet!! I am having a personal Gloat Fest because Ron tried to get me to say yes to a tricked out Passat instead of my beloved Caddy DTS, bought used for a bit more than the Fuchenyugen would have cost! Victory can come late, but I still truly relish it!!
    Tom Lloyd, your comment is wunderful!

  4. PMartha … thanks for your support.

    I did have fun again this week with the Blog. And congrats on a wise decision … buying American and not getting screwed by the Germans!

    And, as a bonus, “”du sprichst Deutsch!”

    • That is thanks to Avise Carter! My first lesson was, “Wie heist der Truttham?’ Answer: “Der Trutthan heist Dieter!” Frje found that so hysterically funny so from there on out, any sight of a rooster in Iowa provoked the “lesson!”
      Oooh, huge! Armadillo just outside my study window, which goes nearly to the ground. Did any of you know that Armadillo droppings can carry Leprosy? Guess I’ll have to stop feeding the little buggers or else watch my step when barefooted out there!! (Too good not to share!).

  5. One of your best yet my friend.

    My guess is that VW isn’t the only company that used a ‘defeat device’ to get around EPA standards. I can picture Mercedes execs holed up in a secret location making plans to avoid a similar scandal. After all, their profit margin on 50k automobiles must be awfully slim. Who can blame them…

  6. Hi Vi … Thanx for reading my stuff. Other VW divisions (Audi & Porsche) may be in trouble. The heads of R&D in those divisions have been fired. This was exposed by a group @ the U of West Va … released 2 years ago. They’re surprised it is just now an issue. They also exposed Caterpillar & Cummins diesel 15 years ago doing the same thing.

    The sadness is that the CEO @ VW was fired, but with a 60+ million package … evidence that it does “pay to cheat?” Just sayin’.

    Thanx for your comment.

    • Ehhh! Watch out there!! My Mercedes cost 42K, ran perfectly through any weather and saved my life with its braking capacity the very first week I had it. I drove it 16 glorious years, sold it to a darling old Italian immigrant for 3K, and he’s still driving it, no breakdowns. So, at $2700/year, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. At the time, I was having to appear in the worst neighborhoods in Connecticut, sometimes at 5 A.M., other times at 11 P.M. as I instituted a program for the state. Worth every penny, that car!!

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