Now we have Proof: Washington D.C. is Full of S**t?

Washington D.C.’s full of you-know-what.  I bet you already knew that.

But, do you know what they’re doing with all that s**t?

D.C. now runs a major utility off this s**t, plus provides electricity for over 10,000 homes.  Wow … That’s a lot of s**t!

Here’s an abridged version of the way it works.  Take the s**t and remove the solids.  A huge, I mean really fricking big centrifuge, spin dries the leftover s**ty water, which now resembles the Potomac River on bad days.  The remaining sludge is pumped into containers that act like mega-pressure cookers – You’d better hope the lids are on super tight because it’s cooked at 338 degrees of steam and pressure.

The s**t is now sent to “digesters” which are 8-story concrete buildings filled with mega-bazillions of microbial bugs … Bugs you don’t want in or around your house.  And, if there’s beauty in s**t, here it is … The by-product is major league quantities of clean burning methane gas which is used to produce electricity.

Wait a minute!  Did I hear “methane?”  Methane gas?

Aren’t cows the largest producers of methane gas?  Cows carry their own microbial boogers in their stomachs and wander around eating all day, belching and farting methane gas by the cubic whatever.

No s**t, Sherlock!

Bing – bang – boom … an idea lights up the nether regions of my brain.  (Surprise, surprise … I have one of those and it functions on alternate Tuesdays.)

Cows produce methane.  Cows eat almost any plant fodder.  Where do we have room for huge herds of cows in Washington D.C.?

Until now, I haven’t found a direct link between all this s**t and either the House of Representatives or the Senate.  But Holy S**t, it seems to me that since we’re talking s**t here, we’d look at Congress as the source for our raw material.

Duh … the capitol building and the surrounding parks and grounds.  What good is Congress at solving any of our problems?  I CAN’T HEAR YOU …

What?  You think we could put Congress on a permanent recess and load the hallowed halls of government with herds of belching farting cows all producing methane gas? Methane that produces electricity, which is a lot more than Congress has ever produced.

As the French would say, “Voila!”  We now have a use for Congress … at least the halls.

Screw the Congressmen … unless they want to shovel s**t.

Just sayin’.

10 thoughts on “Now we have Proof: Washington D.C. is Full of S**t?

  1. I’ve been cookin’ my own poop and producing injectable meth for years now. And now,no thanks to you, my secret’s out! 🙂

  2. Oops … thanx for reading my shit … that’s kinda like tea leaves in a cup “reading.” Hey, they made a TV series about “cooking meth,’ so maybe you’re a head of the curve once again.

    Sorry for letting the shit out of the bag!

    • He’s A Head, all right, and so are you, otherwise neither of you would put up with me!!! My very first love, fifth grade, William McHarg, was with me all the way through 12th grade. We adored each other as only childhood friends can do. But I was a competitive little S**t, and made up my mind to beat him in the chemistry fair, and did just that. Well, he went on in life to be the world’s leading expert in sewer sludge!! He lives in Shanghai now; how appropriate, eh?

  3. Just think of all the good jobs we can offer, taking care of those beautiful cows. My pet cow was named Annabelle and I could hardly wait ’til Fridays and summers to be on my grandma’s farm, where, yep, sure as S**t, I had to shovel it sometimes. Provided the cows don’t pee in the same spot, cow poop doesn’t stink. Neither does horse dung.
    Seems so asinine that all that electricity is used to cook S**t from much more horrible and disgusting sources, Congress and the surrounding population of D.C. What could be worse S**t than that produced there, eh?
    Hail to the Cows!!!

  4. PMartha … You woulda made a wonderful “cowgirl.” Git along little doagies!

    Thanx for reading my S**t.

    • May happen yet, lol. I love the dumb things, especially the “Moooooo-ing” most wonderful sound!!

  5. Holy Cow, Batman, I think you’re on to a good party line… it’s guana make some pols big $. Are you going to run for office on this potentially slippery platform? Perhaps we can get goats involved too, to “recycle” the useless paperwork?

    • Goats are ruminants also and it’s my understanding that ruminants produce methane as a part of their digestive process … Though I guess it would take a s**t load more goats since they’re smaller.

      But, you’re right, the goats would be great as the paper eaters.

      I can just hear the cows lowing in “Chambers” now. Sounds much better than the bickering that’s going on! Thanx for reading my s**t.

  6. We could buy the rights to bag Washington Shit , and make a lot of s..hillings ,

    • Ron … I like the way you think. There’s gotta be a s**t load of money in s**t! If there isn’t then why to we give a s**t about all the s**t that’s happening in Washington?

      Thanx for reading …

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