It’s War

Now you’ve done it Starbucks … You’ve dumped us right back into another effing war.  A war that makes us realize there are only 40 shopping days left before Christmas.

Just what was the covert op pulled off by Starbucks, the instigator of this latest international skirmish?

They had the audacity to stop putting snowflakes, snowmen, ornaments, mistletoe, and not to mention a reindeer, on their holiday cups to try and squelch our thirst for the Christmas Spirit with … OMG, a plain red cup.

Hmmm, coupled with their green logo, in a minimalist kind of way, the cup actually looks quite “Christmassy.”  So, what’s the big deal?


The Twitter-sphere is totally a-tweet with emotional effluvia accusing Starbucks of waging a “War on Christmas.”

The outcry from Congress, the media, and at least one GOP presidential candidate, was swift, loud and apocalyptic.

Trump bellowed that when he’s the President, “We’ll all be saying Merry Christmas again.”

Hey … not for nothing, but I’ve never seen a crèche, Jesus, the Magi … no angels, not even farm animals on Starbucks’ cups.  Yes, there was a reindeer one season, but to date there is no forensic evidence that a reindeer was ever a member of the official Christmas family.

The Donald also called for a Starbucks boycott.  Yeh, like that’ll ever happen … Imagine millions of Americans going without their double-mocha-cinnamon-latte.

“Pardon me – I’ll take that in a Venti, please.  Oh no … wait.  We’re at war.  Cancel that.  I’ll do without.”

So what do you think?  Are we overreacting to Starbucks?  Is this another step on the pathway to a Jesus-less birthday party …   another push toward the continued secularization of our country?

We can’t stand meekly in line while this caffeine factory herds us like a bunch of manger animals.  We’ve got to unite!  Force them to put their secular Christmas decor back on our Cup of Freedom.

We need T-shirts that change the “b” in Starbucks to and “f,” driving our demands home … hard and fast.

This is America!  We can’t allow this heartless, soulless corporation to steal our Christmas cups.

Just sayin’.


13 thoughts on “It’s War

  1. I’d say “bravo” but, hey! That’s a foreign word and everyone knows foreign words are anti-Christmas! After all, Christ was born in Bethlehem which is in eastern Pennsylvania in the good old U.S.A., right?

    Anyway, I think you should invoke the spirit of the McCarthy hearings! (Not the ones headed by Senator Joe McCarthy and not the campaigns led by Senator Eugene McCarthy, mind you, but rather the spirit of the late, great Charlie McCarthy of Edgar Bergen fame.)

    Who knows? One more dummy leading a charge against Starbucks might make all the difference…in a seriously absurd world!

    • Thanx for reading my stuff, Tom …

      Yes, I do think Mortimer Snerd has more brains than Trump has sawdust!

      And I lived just north of Bethlehem, PA but can honestly say that I never visited their downtown “Manger Scene” during the Xmas holidays. I understand that they had live animals as a part of the scene, back then.

      There was also Joe McCarthy, onetime manager of the NY Giants baseball club and General McCarthy who said “I”ll be back!” No wait a minute, I’m getting General MacArthur confused with Arnold Scharwtzenegger … Oh, never mind!

  2. Richard, you hit the nail on the head again.
    Starbucks is probably owned by/financed by my brothers, the Jews. I know a Jewish attorney who won’t buy a Volkswagen.
    The Jews own and run everything – Look at The AMEX corporate logo – Blue and White – Color of the Israeli flag.
    Mind you, my father was Jewish, but they are trying to take Christianity out of the country – Also, God.

  3. Michael … Thanx for reading my stuff … Remember, I’m seriously absurd!

    All I really want is a cup that has a Christmas symbol on it. I think you might be reading too much into this blog!

    Google the word “Xmas” and step back … everyone thinks it was part of the alleged “War on Christmas,” but the “X” also has deep and long standing historical christian meaning, too.

    Appreciate your thoughts. Thanx.

  4. exactly what I thought! already Christmassy in a minimalistic way! perfect. what IS the problem? it was just kind of a post-Halloween low-pressure spot in the society’s background roar. now we have actual terrorism to worry about and the cups are done.

    I did not appreciate, however, your reminding me that we have only 40 shopping days til Christmas. it always gives me a small jolt of panic; but no, everything’s cool. No problems because Amazon. Merry Redcup to all!

    • Jeanne … Welcome to Seriously Absurd! Thanks for reading my stuff,

      I agree … if we’re getting upset about Starfucks Xmas cup while “Paris is burning,” then I think our thinking caps are askew on our pointy heads.

      I really think they need to put Jesus on the cup being chased by a gang of rabid Pharisees. But then, that’s just me.

      I appreciate your support.

    • Susie … Thanks for reading and commenting.

      I especially love comments directed to me with the word”brilliant” in them. Some days it just seems I get lucky, the light turns on and seeps from beneath the bushel basket I hold over my head!

      I appreciate your support.

  5. My drive-thru liquor store started putting my pint of rot-gut in bright red Xmasy to-go bags. Now I keep getting pulled over by the cops. Ho-Ho-Ho!!!

    • Oops … Thanx for tuning in …

      You’re in luck. I actually think Drambuie is considered an “Xmassy kinda booze.”

      Maybe you should go to Publix and get a couple of their plain paper bags to keep in the glove compartment (Does anyone put gloves in there anymore?), switch out so you won’t be so noticeable.

  6. Heathen that I am, my fav Xmas song is, “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. . .” preferably roared out on a snowy night viewing Xmas lights in CT with friends full of pizza and beer!!! Nearest Starfucks to here is 20 miles!!!

    • PMartha … you’re the winner!

      You’re the first Commentor who used the “b-for-f” switch and called it Starfucks!

      Any minute now a classy hillbilly trio will come by your house, spill out of their pickup truck onto your lawn and break into a loud, raucous rather salacious version of your favorite song.

      Thanx for reading and commenting.

      • Well, I live in Jacksoffville, and lots of Starfucks here with some amazingly poor fucks standing in line to pay near $5 for a cup of schmaltz. Go home, brew a cuppa!!! It’s good to be the Winner!!

Comments are closed.