GOP Faces Dump Trump D-Day Armageddon

NEWSFLASH … The GOP’s rapidly imploding soul is on life support!

Trump “sucks so much oxygen out of the room,” the GOP’s suffering from collective delusions of creating a Trump-Free Zone stretching from all 50 states to American Samoa and the great beyond.

After years of fertilizing the mutant egg that gave birth to Birther-Trump’s “Make America Great Again” campaign, they’re emitting a collective primal scream:

“The baby’s an abomination!  The baby’s the devil’s spawn!”

Now, the GOP’s facing their “Dump-Trump D-Day Armageddon.”

Get the cameras ready.  Tune into Reality TV that rivals Mad Max on steroids!


Scene 1 – Dump-Trump “STAT.”

Straight from the Grey’s Anatomy Operating Room of GOP Central, elite major donors and selected hand wringers twitch nervously with high hopes in the OR observation area.

“Here we go, 4-3-2-1 – we’re live!”

Under the glare of klieg lights they’re watching the GOP perform political abortion!

Surprise … it’s a “self-abortion” for the same group that coined the term “self-deportation” as a brain fart for solving their immigration problem.

Scene 2 – Dump-Trump “Comoediae Fatalis.”

Enter the stand-up acts to take down The Donald.

Rubio and his obviously crack-laced writers launch his post-election career in sophomoric political gutter humor.  Comedy Central’s bidding for the rights.

Not to be upstaged, The Food Network has Marco booked for a 13 week series featuring unique ways to “Carve ‘n Serve Flame Roasted Donald” … well done, of course.

NetFlix plans to launch a “Three Stooges Meets Mr. Trump” mini-series featuring Ted, Marco & John, complete with pie-in-the-face, “Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk” sound bites, nose pinches, and ear bites.

Scene 3 – Dump-Trump “Mittens Unleashed.”

The remake of Mitt 2012 stars an almost energized “Mittens” Romney eviscerating The Donald with surgical precision.

Diehard Mittenites have already named him the “Slice-n-Dice Romney-Matic.”

According to “Mittens,” The Trumpmeister is a schoolyard bully and a behaviorally arrested middle school, boy’s-bathroom-smoking-juveie-delinquent.  He’s a liar, a misogynist, a racist, a fraud, a sexual deviant, a sinner, and … would be a piss poor president.

Other than that, he’s “likeable enough.”

There’s just one problem with this Trump organ rejection. It ain’t gonna work.

Hey, Grand Old Party … get used to the mud, swamp gasses and gutters of Trumpdom.  It’s dirty.  It’s where he lives.  He loves it down there … and he’s suckin’ you down with him.

Just sayin’.

19 thoughts on “GOP Faces Dump Trump D-Day Armageddon

  1. Bravo, Richard!

    Being a Maryland guy I have to quote an often misquoted line from the “Sage of Baltimore,” the late H.L. Mencken:

    “No one in this world, so far as I know — and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me — has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.”

    Scary thought? Mencken said no ever LOST public office underestimating the intelligence of the American public….but whether they can GAIN political office that way still remains to be seen.

    • Whoa, Tom-boy … Way too serious to be absurd! And that’s the scary part of my blogs, too … Sometimes the seriousness is too absurd and the absurdity is too close to reality.

      My hair hurts now … Must have vodka … hmmm, 4:30 PM … 30 minutes … will I make it!

      Tune in next week to find out! Thanx for reading!

  2. Dark humor indeed and still not as noir as the true life situation. Can’t shake the thought this is a bad dream or at least a massive joke which at some point Trump will confess and exit guffawing.

    • Hey, Gail … Thanx for reading … Yep, Just like Bobby Ewing in that fabulous cliff hanger on “Dallas.” The entire season was a bad dream. If only reality mirrored fantasy or the reverse.

      Now I’m confused … well it’s down the rabbit hole for me and perhaps a chance meeting with the Mad Hatter! Until next week, i remain either Absurdly Serious or Seriously Absurd!

  3. I love your last two pieces…you should be getting paid for your talent, Richard! Great stuff! Thanks!

    • Hey, GL … Thanx for reading and for the kind thoughts.

      Let’s see … Money, fun, love … Hmm, I love earning money while I’m having fun doing what I love …

      There’s always hope. If Lana Turner could be discovered at a soda fountain, surely I can be discovered on the internet!

      Now I’m off to get me a tight fitting sweater and look for a soda fountain … Like I said, “One can only hope!”

      Thanks for your support!

  4. i love it when people admit that their hair hurts. take two aspirin and get waterboarded in the morning! that ought to take your mind off the really serious issues such as the size of the Donald’s Johnson. Hey! Don Johnson! He would be a better candidate than Mittens. Imagine Trump in a pink t-shirt and a white jacket with the sleeves pushed up! Can’t see it, right? Now try to picture him with his hands on the nuclear codes! Now THAT’s absurd!

    • Jeanne … Holy Moley, Capt’n Marvel! You worked, The Don’s Johnson, torture & medical malpractice all into your opening line! Great! If I’m ever stuck, I’ll connect with you for a finishing line!

      The Donald’s hands on our nuclear weapons is no worse than Lil Kim’s hands on Korea’s, or Putin’s in Russia!

      Plus, I understand that the Don Johnson has a spot on The Donald’s Cabinet … Secretary of Something-or-other. Thanx for reading.

    • Hey Jeanne … Remember, just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does! Ooops … maybe that was not the right thing to say.

      But, anyway … I sure appreciate your reading my stuff and commenting!

  5. Over 6 months ago, when I was still promoting my, “Don’t be a Chump, Ignore the Trump” campaign(?), my speculation was that Hilary had encouraged him to jump in the race to clear her most formidable contenders (Jeb!), then drop out after it became clear that he couldn’t win the nomination. But then, Trump decided he could actually WIN!

    Note also, that comedy writers have gone from openly rejoicing to secretly saying, “Doesn’t he get that the joke is kinda over?”

  6. Hey, Mike … If the GOP had just been tuned in to you, maybe they wouldn’t have their LDS Super Underwear in such a Romney knot!

    I still think The Donald was a Clinton plant … but, he does seem to like what’s been happening … the spotlight sure appeals to narcissists!

    The problem with The Donald is that he thinks the comics are all telling the truth about him so he doesn’t see it as a joke!

    Thanx for reading and all your support! Until next week …

    • Rest assured that when the GOP starts “tuning in to me” … hmmm … I was gonna say they’re in real trouble, but they are already in real trouble …

  7. What’s remarkable are the tv ads from groups opposing and trashing Trump. NOT supporting any other candidate, just bashing Trump. Not sure if I’ve ever seen that before…

    • Hey Steve … just noticed those the other day … especially heavy now in FL … Also, Romney is making “Robo-calls” in FL urging people to vote for Rubio or Cruz in order to stop Trump. He will do the same in Ohio for Kasich … He will not endorse either Rubio, Cruz or Kasich.

      I think this may be a first for a dump of the front runner in a party when the ads are sponsored by donors in the same party. Strange indeed!

      Thanx for commenting …

  8. You’d think The GOP would understand the impact on menu choices when you crap in your own mess kit! Hey Grandpa! What’s for supper?

    • Hey, Larry … one of my Dad’s favorite aphorisms … “Son, don’t s**t in your own mess kit.” He was bit rougher than you & crap wasn’t part of his vocabulary.

      Supper will be served as soon as I clean out both of our mess kits!

      Thanks for reading my stuff!

  9. YUP! Time to get paid!! When you do, will you give me a pair of LDS Super Underwear? This piece is almost beyond words!

  10. Pay is in the future … I hope. As for LDS new and improved “underalls,” we’ll have to wait and see. I’m gonna Google ’em now to see just how hot ‘n sexy they are!

    Thanks for reading my stuff!

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