Happy Eostre, Pagan Style

It’s Easter Sunday … the highest of high holy days for Christians.

But hold on a sec.  What about those of us who claim to be devout pagans?

Not the virginal sacrificing, body painting, blood curdling yellers who rush headlong into battle pagans.  Not them.  I’m talking about the fully clothed, rather quiet, and mostly normal nature worshipping pagans.

Just like every other warm blooded human, we live to celebrate spring.  We want to throw off our ancestral, horridly odiferous animal furs and stick our heads out of tents, caves, or mud-hut hovels.

We want to get up close and personal with the new moist dirt, romp screaming, yelling through the meadows … and whip up some homebrew for bad-assed parties.

That’s what we pagans do.  We celebrate.  Loud, full of piss and vinegar, and beverages that are mind altering.

All the “fun stuff of spring” comes from us pagans.


Take the Easter Bunny.

Straight from pagan lineage … good old Eostre, the northern goddess whose symbol was the hare.  Yep, that litter after litter bastion of fertility.  You know the old saying, “The rabbit habit.”

Now-a-days, I can’t go out and kill a rabbit without irate PETA people attacking me.  But I can sure as hell bite the head off a scrumptious chocolate bunny as a sign of mockery.

And speaking of scrumptious … those good old hot cross buns?  Religious leaders tried to stop the wild pagan women from sexing up their hubbies with those fantastic hot sticky buns.  Musta been the honey!

But the women, as women are wont to do, said, “Screw you,” to the religious leaders.  “We ain’t following.’  And we’re gonna forever bake our buns.”

So the clever religious leaders decided that if they can’t stop ‘em, they’ll “bless ‘em.”  And hot cross buns are now sacred … with a Christian symbol on each and every one to prove it.

And what about Easter eggs?

Hello … the exchange of eggs is as old as the Seven Hills of Rome.  Think fertility.  Rebirth.  New life.  The Easter egg is a celebration of life and prosperity.

Yep, it’s Easter … time to drink to the gods of your choice in the celebration of life.  So loosen up, yell and scream a bit, and go dye an egg or three.

Happy Easter to all, and to all … a good night!

Just sayin.’

8 thoughts on “Happy Eostre, Pagan Style

  1. Hoppy Easter! Loved your blog. Time to go do some naughty but nice pagan stuff. Hot Cross Buns turn the guys on huh?

    • Hi Lynn … Thanks for reading … this 21st century pagan specializes in “naughty but nice.” My fear of “prison life” keeps me from really crossing that line anymore.

      Hope your version of Easter was “hoppy.”

      Now it’s off to April Fool’s Day … As a colossal fool, I’ve got that one nailed!

  2. Quick! Send medicinal brandy! (Or a cute gal named Brandy.)

    I’m gonna need something to get the image of an odiferous, formerly fur-covered blogger romping au natural through the meadows of Mt. Dora outta my brain!

    (Sorry. I’m not buying that “fully clothed, rather quiet and mostly normal” red herring you tossed out there. I’ve read too much Agatha Christie not to know a red herring when I see one. Besides,I know you too well!)

    Still, I applaud your ecumenical “pick-a-god, any-god” sentiment and wish you a very happy Eostre provided there’s no romping about in my backyard!

    • Hey, Tom … I’ve sent for a medicinal brandy and a “Cute Brandy” for you delivered straight to VB by the Eostre Bunny (Who ain’t half bad either!).

      As for meadow romping in Mount Dora, we ain’t got no for real meadows … a few sand spur free patches, but no meadows.

      And, you just well may be right about the “red herring,” though I prefer my herring smoked and toast points … Thanks for reading and all your support.

      • Mon Dieu! I’d have guessed you liked your herrings PICKLED….or at least happy-hour-ed!

  3. Hand painted Bunnie statues, one carrying a buggy full of eggs, other about 3 feet tall, and Pagan flamingos, dressed to the nines, Mme Germain de Artaud, of New Orleans, and Sir Ronnie Robusto de Grey House of Montrose, wearing kilt, no knickers, wind ‘a blowin! Broke eggs for breakfast and Happy Easter Bunny–double yolks!! Cheers!!

    • Hey PMartha … ya got me on the “double yolks!” I had a vision of you & kilted-no-knickers Ronnie doing the ragin’ pagan Eostre Bunny Hop!

      If there were a Scotch single malt real Scotch thrown in, then we’d sure have a hardy party for the wee lads and lassies.

      Thanks for reading & your support.

      • Oh, Lord, I just read this and you got me! Now I have a “Mind’s Eye Worm” of Ron in his kilt, frying double yolk eggs while his “double yolks” bounce in the wind. He often sings Scottish songs while fixing breakfast, ROFL here.

Comments are closed.