The “Mr. Trump Goes to Washington” media countdown started two seconds after Speaker Paul Ryan’s public declaration that he was not sure whether he could be The Donald’s BFF now … or ever.
Media pundits jumped on the event like a Zika swarm in search of warm blooded prey.
A day-by-day countdown morphed into an hourly watch … complete with on-screen time trackers … that paced rabid viewers to the biggest non-meeting in political history.
And suddenly … it was show time!
The entire media world scrambled to see which Donald, “Charming Donald” or “Terminator” Donald,” would grapple with Paul “Ex-VP-Candidate & Reluctant-House-Speaker,” Ryan … the smug-undisputed-self-proclaimed-champion-of-Conservatism.
Coverage started with an army of “Trump Watchers” stationed at Trump Tower where there was an early A.M. “Donald Sighting” as he caravaned to the waiting Trump Jet, pointed toward DC.
To further snarl hopelessly snarled DC traffic, bloggers, print reporters and TV talking heads scratched and clawed for positions on barricaded sidewalks and streets as their Red Bull gorged bloodshot eyes strained for a Trump-glimpse.
And then in a full 4.5 second Trump-frenzy, that giant-of-a-man appeared amidst whirring cameras and shouts of media Blitzers.
He pivoted and shot a two thumbs-up victory sign, then darted off with a well practiced Paparazzi move into the rear entrance of the headquarters of GOP ass-kisser, Reince Prebus.
Meanwhile, inside the designated meeting room, armed with charts and graphs, Ryan rushed to explain to Trump – in 45 minutes – just how the Congress of our great country functioned pointing out that we had no “kings” … just a “President.”
Reportedly, Trump nodded and smiled … probably because there was no “pop quiz” after this 9th grade Civics lecture.
Or, maybe he didn’t believe the “no kings” bulls**t
Ryan and Prebus left the room ebullient … no broken bones … fingers and toes all accounted for … tongues still in their mouths.
Trump, likewise in apparent good spirits revealed these critical details to the press … “Paul’s a pretty nice guy and I think we can get along.”
It was noted that Trump’s assessment of JEB!, Ted, Rick, Dr. Ben, Marco, John, Chris, Carly and Rand was eerily similar after their first meetings with him … and we all know how well that turned out.