Mr. Trump Goes to Washington

trump apocolypseThis was way “yuuuger” than the second coming … or any coming for that matter.

The “Mr. Trump Goes to Washington” media countdown started two seconds after Speaker Paul Ryan’s public declaration that he was not sure whether he could be The Donald’s BFF now … or ever.

Media pundits jumped on the event like a Zika swarm in search of warm blooded prey.

A day-by-day countdown morphed into an hourly watch … complete with on-screen time trackers … that paced rabid viewers to the biggest non-meeting in political history.

And suddenly … it was show time!


The entire media world scrambled to see which Donald, “Charming Donald” or “Terminator” Donald,” would grapple with Paul “Ex-VP-Candidate & Reluctant-House-Speaker,” Ryan … the smug-undisputed-self-proclaimed-champion-of-Conservatism.

Coverage started with an army of “Trump Watchers” stationed at Trump Tower where there was an early A.M. “Donald Sighting” as he caravaned to the waiting Trump Jet, pointed toward DC.

To further snarl hopelessly snarled DC traffic, bloggers, print reporters and TV talking heads scratched and clawed for positions on barricaded sidewalks and streets as their Red Bull gorged bloodshot eyes strained for a Trump-glimpse.

And then in a full 4.5 second Trump-frenzy, that giant-of-a-man appeared amidst whirring cameras and shouts of media Blitzers.

He pivoted and shot a two thumbs-up victory sign, then darted off with a well practiced Paparazzi move into the rear entrance of the headquarters of GOP ass-kisser, Reince Prebus.

Meanwhile, inside the designated meeting room, armed with charts and graphs, Ryan rushed to explain to Trump – in 45 minutes – just how the Congress of our great country functioned pointing out that we had no “kings” … just a “President.”

Reportedly, Trump nodded and smiled … probably because there was no “pop quiz” after this 9th grade Civics lecture.

Or, maybe he didn’t believe the “no kings” bulls**t

Ryan and Prebus left the room ebullient … no broken bones … fingers and toes all accounted for … tongues still in their mouths.

Trump, likewise in apparent good spirits revealed these critical details to the press … “Paul’s a pretty nice guy and I think we can get along.”

It was noted that Trump’s assessment of JEB!, Ted, Rick, Dr. Ben, Marco, John, Chris, Carly and Rand was eerily similar after their first meetings with him … and we all know how well that turned out.

Just sayin’.

8 thoughts on “Mr. Trump Goes to Washington

  1. Poor Richard! (That would be a good name for an almanac, by the way)….you are showing signs of an advanced case of Trumpanoma: a potentially deadly and always painful disease caused by tiny spores emitted through your television screen whenever a “reality” TV show airs…

    (Worse, you don’t even need to be watching the “reality” show to be infected.)

    The spores contain a particularly Trumped-up virus which mestastizes and misoynizes and rants and raves and, if left untreated, can lead to (either) compulsive wall-building and anti-immigration delirium (or) depression so deep that not even a high intensity transfusion of serious absurdity can cure it!

    YOU NEED IMMUNIZATION! I prescribe 44 ccc’s (approximately 1.5 ounces) of Vodka multiple times a day. It helps! So does playing bridge. No matter what cards you’re dealt, continue to bid “no Trump.” It helps.

    • Hey Tom … It’s time to switch gears when the replies are better than the posts! Love your response.

      I think I’ll take you up in the 44 cc’s of that new “No Trump Vodka.” You don’t know what proof it is because it changes every hour.

      Now it’s off to my new bridge foursome … “No Trump … yep, that’s what I said!”

  2. Too bad no one pays attention to the “equal time” rule any more. I’m sick of hearing about every time Trump sneezes!

    • Hey Joy … thanks for readin’ … Yeh, I hear what you’re sayin’. I wonder if there’s a chance that Trump will become over exposed and that will be his undoing.

      I thought covering the DC Meet was stupid, but this coverage of his “impersonations 30 years ago” is ridiculous. Yeh, he lied about it now, but no Republicans seem to care … at least according to the media.

      The “equal time” I think gets balanced out because the heads always have the same number of GOP vs Dem representatives.

      Until next week ,,,

  3. Richard, this is one of the best ever!! Luckily, I guess, I missed it all because The Players was on and so was some really rough, tough soccer between “Geordies” and the more civilized Brits. Granted, Tom’s reply was also good, witty, but, hey, yours Trumps it for me.
    OMG, “Trumpzit” there’s got to be a use for that word, eh?
    This show, btw, will continue, at least until the brouhaha over whether or not the Clinton Foundation is going to be this decade’s biggest scandal–you know, diversion from important issues to reality shows! It’s de rigeur now.

    • Hey PMartha … Yep, Tom’s response was a good one …

      I love your “Trumpzit,” however, and propose that it is an incredibly ugly zit only adult voters can get after too much Trumpenation, which appears to be unlimited.

      I thought I had “over done” Trump, but he seems to have an unlimited capacity to “do stupid” and get people to still support him. That’s a lot of folks who have been “Trumped.” But, it’s probably about the same number of people who watch Reality TV each night.

      Thanks for reading …

  4. Richard: i have been depressed for a few days but you and your absurd rant, almost not read at all, but just read now instead of a thoughtless delete, have MADE ME SMILE. it was nearly a laugh, but certainly at least a smile. and i thank you. those frowny muscles were so uncomfortable. thank you for being ridiculous.xoxo jeanne

  5. Jeanne … Am I glad you clawed yourself out from under the covers to read my shit. What a compliment! And I’m more glad that it didn’t push right back under the covers!

    A near laugh is a great experience … there are days when I prayed for a “near laugh” to get me to the 5 o’clock Happy Hour!

    I’m very proud to be your source of ridiculous-ness, ridiculosity, or uber-ridculation … I’ll push on until next week …Now, take two ridiculeations and go to bed!

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