I’m in line at the Post Office … brain and eyes wandering. They strobe across a photo posted on the wall.
I move closer to take a look.
The Feds are after some guy for burglary … trespassing … flying w/o a license … entering restricted no-fly zones … violations of child labor law … distribution of unregulated toys … OSHA violations … workplace discrimination based on gender and age … and animal cruelty.
I study the photo … Holy S**t!
Staring back at me is a rosy cheeked, white bearded, fat man, dressed in a red suit trimmed in white!
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He’s known as Chris Kringle … aka Saint Nicholas … aka Santa Claus.
I know he’s not a bad man. In fact, he’s probably more popular worldwide than any of our Presidents … especially beginning in 2017!
But … and it’s a “big butt,” it looks like the long arm of the law’s corralled his jolly old fat ass. They’re throwing the book at my jelly bellied friend.
This is a frame-up … definitely “Fake News!”
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Burglary? Bite me! He gets millions of written invitations to come into homes. Sure, a few don’t give him permission to drop-in, but he’s not taking anything … he’s leaving stuff!
Taking the cookies and milk doesn’t count. Drop the gavel on that burglary rap!
Child labor laws? Who ya kiddin’? Elves ain’t kids! If you know one thing about elves, you know they’re really, really old. Kick that one to the side of the road!
OSHA Smosha! With T-Rump coming into the “Oval Orifice,” there won’t be any OSHA regs to enforce. Kiss-off that puppy!
The same with the workplace discrimination charges … bag ‘em! The new Administration’s position on discrimination’s totally transparent … Abuse the Workers!
The motto for the nominated Sec of Labor is: “If you pay ‘em at all, you’re payin’ ‘em too much!”
As for animal cruelty … The new Sec of Interior and head of EPA don’t think much about saving the f**king reindeer … unless it’s for steaks!
According to Wikileaks, their plan is to crisscross the North Pole with so many pipelines there won’t be any tundra left for the reindeer to s**t on, much less munch on!
They think the jolly old fat man’s rescuing the reindeer!
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“On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen. On Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen.
And with a nod from the President Elect, “Vlad-dolph the Red” will lead Santa’s sleigh Xmas Night … “SAD!”
Just sayin’ …