Who Says There’s No Free Lunch

No wonder Millennials can’t cook.  They’re cashing in on incredible free eats where they work.  And from what I’ve read, there’s no way in hell they’re cooking in their own little Silicon Valley kitchenette hovels … where all their money goes for rent.

Recently I caught a lead-in phrase which started me thinking about how much life has changed.  It was titled, “Work for Google, Get Free Food.”

A couple of thoughts popped into the sections of my brain reserved for “free” and “food.”


One:  How much can legitimate hackers eat?  Aren’t they the folks with Cheetos-centered diets garnished with gloppy salsa dips, and cans of Reddi Wip?

Two … Why wasn’t the lead-in, “Work at Google and Get Rich?”  Does this mean folks working at Google prefer free food over money?

So I researched it.

Nope … I didn’t hoof it over to the library and swan dive into the card catalog files.  I googled Google with a simple phrase … “Google offers free food.”

In .64 seconds I received 140 million, yes million, digital “card catalog” responses.  Life’s pretty damn amazing, ain’t it?


And so is the food they serve for this crème-de-la-crème of the Millennial generation.

We’re not talking gloppy fiber bars, mystery meat with runny instant mashed potatoes and bilious lime Jello cubes lined-up cafeteria style.

At Google, you can kick start your day at the Steam Cafe with a breakfast of smothered buttermilk fried chicken Benedict served on a waffle.

Lunch?  No problem after that heavy breakfast.  You can cruise the Refuel Café for chicken salad with asparagus, berries and almonds.

Staying late?  Bulk up at the Nourish Café with brisket over chipotle tofu mac-n-cheese accompanied by roasted fingerling potatoes and asparagus.

So what’s the reasoning behind this?


The cynics say it’s because employers want their employees to stay at work and yes, work more and longer.  It’s a cheap way to get more out of their employees.

Aha, I say with a strobe light flashing in my cranial structure.  Let’s check it out.


Google isn’t just serving food.  This is not eating.  This is socio-cultural-creative-idea exchanging at its best.

There are no two-person tables.  The “eateries” are placed in locations that maximize interaction across cubicle lines.

OMG … you mean people actually talk with each other, interact with each other, discuss commonalities, share thoughts, and help each other work … in a different way?

Hmmm … where might be another good place to try this?


Free food and micro-stations in Congress?  Get rid of the cafeteria, the kale and the Freedom Fries?  No two-person tables?  Cross political-cultural discussions?  Exchanges of ideas?

Any chance it could produce a Brave New Congress?”  I’d pay for that!

12 thoughts on “Who Says There’s No Free Lunch

  1. Welcome back from your (presumably) self-imposed holiday hiatus, Richard…now get ye not-to-a-nunnery but to a neurologist.
    Mixing my metaphors, I think there’s brain damage afoot.
    If you think free food will fix Congress and lead to “exchanges of idea” you’ve been munching magic mushrooms far too long!
    The only way the current crop of congressmen and congresswomen would be likely to “exchange” anything is if they voted themselves open-carry laws and started exchanging hollow-point lead missives…which, coincidentally , might be an even more effective and much less expensive way to “fix” Congress.

    • Aaaah, Sweet TL … I can always count on you to take the seriously absurdness of my blogs to the nth degree. What a splendid idea … Open Carry only in the Congressional hallowed halls (and chambers) … did he say “chambers,” as in “Chamber a round, Mama!”?

      Besides, I was just trying to be a bit kind and sharing since this is the first blog of 2017. Now you’ve gone and ruined it … And, I thank you!

      Appreciate all your support … off to get my own permit, now.

  2. You ARE paying and don’t hold your breath about a brave new anything. But happy new year!

    • Hi Gail … Happy 2017 back at ya …

      Yes … I know there’s really no free lunch … especially when tax dollars are involved … but I thought just maybe a shared “breaking of the bread” experience might smooth things over. However, since this blog has been posted, I’m inclined to agree with you that any hope of a “brave new anything” is … hopeless. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  3. “Aha, I say with a strobe light flashing in my cranial structure.”

    Seriously, you got a strobe light in there, too? Did it take sutures to encase the strobes into your structure? Could you get more than one strobe? Ack! So many questions! I guess I’ll have to wait until next week before I can forget about these and come up with new ones based on your latest “take”.

    • Hi Mike … Of course I have “a strobe” up there … what’d you expect? Cheap fluorescents? It’s located in the Party Room portion of my brain — a major lobe — and there’s room for for only one because of all my party-nalia items up there. And yes … mostly whips and chain stuff … but I bet you’d of guessed that.

      Thanks for reading and supporting my absurdities …

  4. Good blog Richard. I have to say I’m generation X and I live off of cheetos still do, in fact my millennial son bought me a big bag of Cheestos for Christmas.
    I have a feeling when Congress gets together for lunch it’s a Kale infused vodka martinis…. might be the reason things do not get done.
    Keep them coming I so enjoy your writing.

    • Whoa Dawn … What a great idea for a healthy way to maintain my drunken stupor! Kale infused martinis … can’t wait to try one. Glad to hear that Cheetos are still one of your favorite food groups … I share that with you when I can sneak ’em in the house … Thanks for your support!

  5. i like it. your heart is lighter, your absurdity less dark since election horror ended. well not ended, but, you know, changed to private dread.

    good idea. glad you are “back”. (i saw you three walking around the lake one day. but welcome back into my mail box!

    see you around.

    • Jeanne … Thanks for reading and a Happy 2017 to you! Don’t fret … darkness lurks right around the corner and you can bet your bippie that I’ll spot it and ridicule it! I hate to miss a chance to smear T-Rump absurdity around our neighborhood.

      Good to hear from you and thanks for all your support.

  6. All I have on this one is I refuse to pay for or eat anything with tofu or any other soy product in it. For my daughter and me, soy anything is instant and serious intestinal distress. Also true for a lot of people of Arab descent. (Hmmm, drop soy bars for Isis maybe?).

    • Hey PMartha … Thanks for dropping in on the Blog … Sorry to hear you can’t “stomach” soy … Just think how bad it would be if you were talking about pulled pork … or hot buttered country biscuits … or lime Jello cube vodka shots. Soy … fuh-ged-about-it!

      I’m passing your idea of bombing Isis with soy bars on to our Defense Dept. They’re always searching for cheap and EZ WMDs.

      Appreciate your support …

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