Paul Ryan’s War against Women Baring Arms

Well … we may not be able to get meaningful legislation passed in Congress, but at least we‘ll “look good” in Paul Ryan’s House of Representatives.

“Tall Paul,” who’s beginning to look more and more like that ridiculously un-cuddly Munster son, Eddie Wolfgang Munster, has taken the control of the House of Representatives a step further than many of his predecessors.

Just like middle school in his Roman Catholic Diocese, Saint Paul has decided to enforce an obscure, little known, and rarely used House dress code.


Cries of “foul play” immediately reverberated throughout the hallowed halls of Congress.

Women wearing sleeveless dresses and, God forbid, open toed shoes are now banned from the House.

The mockery and sexist symbolism of this rule became a media “cause de célèbre” since it was clearly aimed at female members of the press.


Totally unaware of the fact that he was a sexist pig, Munster-Ryan clung to the high moral ground touting that Congress was a place for “serious deliberation and work.”

And we all know what happens when the “Men of the House” are distracted by those Hot-Press-Tarts … sexy red toenails peeking out at them … as they’re asked the difficult and mind bending questions of the day.

Like … “Tell me, oh exalted Congressman, why would you want to eliminate health care for 20 million plus people … then give the money saved to the super wealthy as a tax cut … and subsequently force people into medical bankruptcy with your new, kinder, better health care bill?”


And, if you throw in an “erection-inducing-glistening-bare-female-shoulder” thrust right in front of these same men, God only knows what could happen on the floor of the House … or in the Cloak room … or bent over a Congressman’s desk.

We all know that bare toed shoes and sleeveless dresses are “sexual gateways” to deeper carnal urges.  Clearly it’s the work of the Devil Incarnate!

Bare shoulders?  What’ll those sex-crazed female reporters expose next … the news?


It could take months to get any meaningful legislation passed … unless you count repealing Obama Care over 50 times.

Meanwhile, our Senators are pissed because it’s clear they’re missing some kinda sex-show reserved only for House members!


As of July 13th, House Speaker Munster-Ryan has vowed to reconsider his Tantric position and indicated that the House needs to probe into dreadfully outdated House Dress Codes.

Thank you Mrs. Janna Ryan … some of us appreciate your informal but forceful input.  We’re sure hubby Paul, nee-Eddie Wolfgang, would not have moved that fast without your not-so-gentle nudge!

Just sayin’ …

10 thoughts on “Paul Ryan’s War against Women Baring Arms

  1. it’s their second amendment right. I have always said it was a fashion issue not a gun issue. remember it was hot in Philadelphia in July 1776

    • Hi Tom … I think you’ve hit on the esoteric aspect of the 2nd Amendment … The Right to Bare Arms! Who knew it could blow up in his face … I’m beginning to think Ryan’s more of a problem for us than Trimp is (misspelling intended).

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

  2. Ya coulda save about 430 words and just written “Congress is a place for serious deliberation and work” and gotten just as many laughs.

    • Hey TL … Thanks for reading … Dang … I hate it when you have an excellent point! But, I wouldn’t have had nearly as much fun and I woulda lost my summary rant about the GOP’s “Make America Sick Again Health Care Bill.”

      Appreciate your support.

  3. When did you turn from fiction to science fiction? Is this true?
    Thanks for the entertainment,

    • Hey Maggie … Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Sad, but true, this situation is totally true. The rule’s been on the books for a good many years … Only Ryan has chosen to enforce it … and he did that selectively to punish reporters. Ryan is a sneaky behind the scenes bastard who refuses to take a position on anything that requires a backbone. In my estimation, he’s more dangerous than Trumplethinskin.

      Appreciate your support …

  4. J. Alfred Prufrock – although a bit jaded as he got older – ‘got off’ on bare arms too, and couldn’t get any serious work done at all those tea parties he attended.

    “And I have known the arms already, known them all— 
    Arms that are braceleted and white and bare 
    (But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!) 
    Is it perfume from a dress 
    That makes me so digress? 
    Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.”

    His maker, T. S. Eliot, was Catholic, parted his hair dangerously close to the middle, and dressed like a Senator.

    Hey, this could be relevant, no?

    • Oops … what a find … I love it when Old Pru turns up and is relevant. Good get!

      I wonder what he’d think about bare arms covered with a tattoo sleeve?

      Thanks for reading and for your support …

    • Hey joy … Thanks for reading! Did not know that … the definition of “a tool” is a guy who insists on wearing his baseball hat backward.” I looked it up in my Funk and What’s-his-name.

      I can’t believe the leader of the House GOP is such a gutless wonder … I bet he’s seen every dimple on Trumplethinskin’s big fat ass!

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