The Dead Man Fanny Pack

Did ya miss me?  Huh?  Huh?

So I’m trying to catch-up after almost two weeks of being in digital lockdown thanks to Hurricane Irma.

While “speed reading” thru emails and junk mail … BTW, I love my SPAM mail …  I catch a headline …”Dead Man Fanny Packs.”

I immediately think … blog material!


First thoughts … is this a Fanny Pack for a dead man, or for the sake of PC’ness … Dead Person?

If so, then said dead person can carry some personal possessions to a Final Destination because, tucked neatly under his final suit jacket at his funeral, he’s wearing a … “Dead Man Fanny Pack” purchased directly from the funeral home for a small added cost.

I like that image.

It’s kinda like the burial traditions of other civilizations where personal possessions accompanied the deceased on their journey forward to the next world … or final resting place.

My Dad coulda used more golf balls for his afterlife trip.  He had a penchant for losin’ them … a terrible golfer.


Second thoughts … Hmmm, maybe this is a Fanny Pack based on Thomas Harris’ “Silence of the Lambs.”  In addition to the gourmet cook and crazy man, Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lector, he gave us that quintessential serial killer, “Buffalo Bill” … the guy who got off on skinning women to remake “skin suits.”

Fanny Packs made from human skins … “Dead Man” Fanny Packs!

No way … a lotta weird stuff’s sold on the Internet but I think that one’s a stretch.


By now I’ve turned to Dr. Google for the answer to my way overly fertile imagination.

Turns out that the Dead Man Fanny Pack’s a Halloween promotional item based on the Mexican celebration … “Dia de los Muertos,” or “Day of the Dead.”  Crap … and here I thought I had a rabbit to run that was very seriously absurd.

But I did notice one company selling the Packs was ironically seriously absurd … promoting their Dead Man Fanny Pack with a “lifetime guarantee.”


Apparently, the only thing serious and absurd about this topic is my brain.  But, then you know that while I only suspect it.

Just sayin’ …

14 thoughts on “The Dead Man Fanny Pack

    • Thanks for readin’, Joy … It was a fun blog I chuckled as I wrote about how my brain can twist things …

      Go Pence! Loved Letterman’s quip about the Mannings and this year’s won-lost record for the two of them. Letterman needs to get a gig as a store Santa or get rid of the beard. He looks like a Mormon cult/sect leader.

  1. A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty hi-ho fanny pack…The Lone Stranger is back! (And now even stranger than he was before the big wind wrecked havoc with his interweb smoke signals.) Kudos, Kiddo!

    • Hey, TL … Had to bench my “Fanny Pack” when my kids said I looked like an “old fart.” I told them I was an old fart, but retired it anyway. Now I just charge everything with on CC and my license in my pocket … does anyone remember why we carry all that shit in our wallets? Good thing we’ll be totally “cashless” soon. Any coins I hafta take, I give back to the cashier and say, “Buy something frivolous,” with a smile of course.

      • Silly Richard! We carry GOBS o’ stuff in our wallets ’cause we was TRAINED that way. Carry your auto insurance info in yer wallet ’cause if someone steals your car you’ll still be able to file a claim. Carry yer Medicare card in yer wallet ’cause you’re old and may keel over at any time….Carry your library card in yer wallet ’cause nobody today knows what a library is. Carry your Triple A card in yer wallet ’cause (again) you’re old and may need a tow truck or someone to change a flat tire and modern car jacks require a Masters degree in engineering to operate; Carry a busness card from the local taxi service ’cause (yet again) you’re old and have no clue what “Uber” is…the list gets longer but ya get my point!

  2. You did order one, didn’t you? I am getting one for Luke because his fp is seriously worn out. Missed you and am glad you are back and as full of it as ever.

    • Hi Lee … Nope … when I discovered it was just another Halloween decoration, I decided against it. I gave up my Fanny Pack when my youngest kid told me “I looked like an old fart.” I told him I was an old fart, but retired my FP. Now, I only carry my license and one CC … I can’t figure out why I carried so much shit in my wallet when I was younger … We did have to use more cash, but now it’s really not necessary. If i get coins for change, I give them back to the cashier and tell her/him to “go buy something frivolous,” with a smile. I think I’m becoming an eccentric.

      Thanks for reading.

      • Becoming? I think fanny packs are very becoming on older eccentric men like you and Luke. He has one, but it is out of style…just basic black, so I might get him a colorful dia de los muertos fanny pack.

  3. I can already envision the future here. Headline: “Dead Man’s Fanny Pack Excavated in Manhattan Cemetery reveals Cuomo’s KKK Connections.” or “Confederate Soldier Memorabilia found in Dead Man’s Fanny Pack Excavated in Vermont.”
    All artifacts, of course, available for sale on E-Bay 2050.

    • Hey PMartha … Sorry for the delay in response … just got your comment! Thanks for reading and especially thanks for such a creative conjoining of Blogs past & current.

      The past will haunt many of us when we’re remembered by those we thought loved us!

      Appreciate your support …

    • Hi Jeanne … What a whopping good kiss, even if it was digital! Thanks for reading and see you soon around the lake.

  4. Missed you hugely/ at least you’re not in Puerto Rico throwing out FannyPacks to the crowd in the airplane hangars today 😳

    • Hi Kay … You didn’t catch me on YouTube launching FP’s to the crowd? Humph … probably upstaged by that carrot topped 45!

      Thanks for reading … and especially for taking the time to comment!

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