Seems to me that the world’s becoming smarter and smarter … if you’re talking digital, not biological life.

Based on the last few weeks and our politics, however, I’d say the biological side seems to be getting dumber and dumber.

But in our household, we’ve taken steps to combat that slide and boost our access to “AI” … Artificial Intelligence.

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This slippery slope started for me with the old Magic 8-Ball … Mattel’s 1950’s fortune teller designed for kids.

A 20 sided icosahedral die floated in a bluish liquid … and when turned over, in a small window the 8-Ball revealed its answer to any question asked.

I spent hours with it … and still have one to guide me through my tougher days … which appear with great frequency thanks to the Freeing of OJ, the White House being occupied by a man with “Hooker Hair” … and a mountain of evidence that Mother Nature is really pissed.

For the sake of full disclosure, I also have an “Ask Jesus” and an “Ask Buddha.”  Just making sure I’ve covered all my bases.

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Not too long ago, my wife, who’s never consulted any of my personal Oracles, somehow allowed Siri to join our household.

I have no clue where Siri came from or how she became a member of our family … I just know she’s here because I hear my wife talking with her regularly.

In fact, she talks with Siri more than she talks with me … though I haven’t heard her say “Goodnight, Siri” … yet.

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Before Siri, I enjoyed a secure family position … as “The Answer Man.”

Even Rani, our standard poodle who has the intellectual abilities of a toddler, looked to me for guidance.

But now, when I hear a question I pause before I volunteer the full depth of my understanding of all facets of life.  I’ve learned to rather timidly say … “Are you asking Siri, or me?”

It’s a real blow to my very fragile ego to no longer be The Source for all answers … good, bad, true, false … whether data or knowledge is required.

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But … before you feel too sorry for me, you need to know I’ve drawn my own “red line in the sand” … there’ll never be a “Smart Refrigerator” in my house!

A man’s gotta know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.

Just sayin’ …

“You’re fired!”

“You can’t fire me … I quit!”

This dialog, once reserved only for “The Apprentice,” now reverberates throughout the halls of the West Wing.

Who’s next to go?  Las Vegas odds makers placed “even money” on …

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Rex “I’ll-Never-Admit-I-Called-The-F**king-Moron-A-F**king-Moron” Tillerson

Steven “My-New-Wife’s-Really-Nice-Once-You-Get-To-Know-Her” Mnuchin

Ryan “I’ll-Get-That-Alaska-Senate-Witch-Yet” Zinke

Jeff “I’m-NOT-A-Keebler-Elf” Sessions, and

Scott “Wow-I-Never-Thought-They-Would-Get-Price” Pruitt.

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As for other Cabinet officers … their positions are inconsequential.  They might as well be ambassadors to Nambia or some other place 45 can’t pronounce, remember, or has made up in his not-so-fertile imagination.

Hey, Newt and his wife, Caligula … oops, I mean Callista, are hanging with Pope Frank in “The Vat” … that’s not a bad gig.

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Cabinet members make a lousy $199,700 … so the big question is:  Who would be stupid enough to put up with 45 for that?  The Speaker of the House gets $237,500 and better vacation time … plus, he doesn’t have to perform a daily pucker-and-plant on 45’s big fat ass.

Switch-out rumors flew through the White House Press Corps about 45’s “first lady” – Ivana – replacing Tillerson.  According to leaks, 45 thought she’d be a shoo-in … a “natural” with her “yuuge and biggly” thick foreign accent.

Melania quickly squelched that when she bitch-slapped her Balkan cousin last week like only the real First Lady could!

Then she gave 45 “that look” … and he caved in a New York minute.

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From his perch high atop Breitbart, Steve “I’m-Still-The-Power-Behind-The-Thrown” Bannon suggested 45 hold a “Red State Lottery” and pick someone from his base to be the next member of his cabinet.

Pick now … replace later … that way there’d be a smooth transition when a vacancy occurred.

Qualifications?  Fuh-ged-about-‘em!  No one in the current cabinet’s qualified.

Security clearances?  Not a problem … just ask Jared to help fill out the security forms.

At least there’d be one person in 45’s base who actually got one of the jobs he promised during his campaign … and government health care, too.

It’s a win-win!

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And, there’s always room for another retired general in the cabinet.  According to census data 4,700 of ‘em are still alive and kicking … and looking for a war … any war!

And if that doesn’t float your boat, past contestants from “Apprentice” have all written their names on slips of paper and tossed them in a hat which sits on 45’s “Oval Orifice” desk.

The possibilities appear to be endless.

Just sayin’ …