It’s not a Bear Market in Bear Land!

Teddy Roosevelt’s spinning in his grave.

The Vermont Teddy Bear Company’s feeling the pressure.

The world renowned Steiff Company in Germany is in daily meetings … all preparing for the worst.  And folks … it’s coming … Bear-mageddon!

There’s a war in the “Bear House” and it’s upsetting the delicate Teddy Bear world balance.

This is bigger than any “trumped-up trade war” … more precarious than the North Korean, Iranian and Russian threats combined … thicker and taller than any damn wall!

We’re in the midst of “Trumpy Bear Wars!”


Yes … The Trumpy Bear is here … and can be yours for two EZ installments of $19.95 … plus handling & shipping.

No … it’s not a blow-up “sex-bear-doll.”

And no … it doesn’t have a pull string to produce a growling … “Oh Baby, that’s it, that’s it!” or “Don’t stop now!”

It’s a plump plush brown bear complete with “Trump Hair” … which you can “style” yourself!

Itty-bitty bear hands dangle from a mock French cuffed dress shirt … and the trademarked “Made in China” bright red tie hangs below Trumpy Bear’s belt buckle.

It’s marketed by a company in Texas … where the bear is manufactured is a company secret.  Let’s take a wild-assed guess … China?  Maybe Russia? Certainly not the USA!


One buyer decapitated his Trumpy Bear only to discover that just like the real Trump … there’s microfiber filler between its ears.

What did you expect?  An effing Mensa sized brain?


Find the hidden zipper … no it’s not where you think it is … and you’ll discover a unique Trumpy Bear feature.

Gently probe deep inside and you’ll pull out … no not that thing … a full-body-wrap-American-flag … perfect for those cold lonely evenings you’ll spend watching the video-loop of Trump doing his final “perp-walk” down the White House steps on his way to Marine One … very Nixon-esque!


Trumpkins are falling all over themselves buying the Trumpy Bear.

They’ve already been spotted on golf carts cruising our nation’s courses … hoisted on poles in front of homes … facing into the wind as Harleys roar down the highway … and yes, sent to our brave GIs fighting in all the places we don’t know about … yet.

Personally … I think its “fab-tastic” that Trumpkins are spending their generous tax returns on Trumpy Bears … as opposed to AR15s.

I just hope that it’s an adult toy … and parents aren’t giving them to their babies!  That would be cruel and …. “unbearable punishment.”

Just sayin’ …

11 thoughts on “It’s not a Bear Market in Bear Land!

  1. Oh, Pooh! “Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.” And when it comes to Trumpy Bears, I thinks I’ll just sit.

    • Oh, TL! I was sure you meant s**t and think, but when I reread your response, I saw I was wwwwrrr-ong.

      I now have visions of scatology dancing thru my head when I was hoping for the holiday sugar plums …

      But I do thank you for tying Trumpy Bear to Pooh Bear … though I think the literary genre connecting the two bears is way, way far apart …

    • Hi Gail … Thanks for reading … “Groan” is right. I got this lead from Joy Sherrill and was amazed at what I found. It sure beats the old “I like Ike” buttons from the 50s.

      I was very glad Trump biz is not in any way connected with this … AND that they were forced to remove his Presidential Seals he put up on his golf courses … what a piece of s**t!

  2. Noooooo! He deserves this roast for shrinking the size of Bear’s Ears National Monument. Shows he does have “microfiber filler between its (his) ears.”

    • Hi GL … Thanks for reading … I tried to tie this in to Bear’s Ears but the thread got too serious and less absurd … so I abandoned it! Hopefully that action will really produce some quick very bad Karma … and for Zinke, too! Both are yuuge and biggly liars.

      Appreciate all your support…

    • Hi Joy … Muchas gracias, hermanita! I really appreciate that lead … when I read about Trumpy Bear, it looked like someone lobbed me a softball to knock outta the park! I appreciate your thinking about how absurd I can be with the true absurdity of life.

  3. Sometimes I sits and don’t think. Especially when my big bottom is sticking up for all to see cause I ate and ate and got stuck in the door trying to get to that honey pot,l

    • Hi Maggie … Thanks for reading. I love Pooh and his friends and always try to create a “100 acre wood” of enchantment wherever I reside. Plus one of my favorite adult Pooh books is “The Tao of Pooh.” Kiddie lit and fairy tales and Mother Goose were all some of my favorites … I loved reading to my kids when I was with them.

      And I agree with you … sometimes it’s best to “sit and not think.” Only Pooh could truly be empty headed and wise.

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