Michael Cohen … Legal Eagle … Welcome to the Big Time

It’s a legal thriller John Grisham couldn’t write.

Welcome to Trump World … a dystopian fantasy land for all those living in the crowded nightmare of Trump’s never ending criminal investigations.

How lucky do you think “The Mooch” feels?  In-and-out of Trump World so fast he didn’t even get an autographed “You’re Fired” poster!

Thanks to the FBI, the Southern District of Manhattan DA, and Special Counsel, Trump’s personal attorney, Michael “I’m-His-Fixer” Cohen, was visited by the “real-law-and-order-vets” this week … and was “fixed.”


While most of us live in a Technicolor world, Trump’s spent his life living in his own not very creative underworld of lies, deceit, payoffs and cheap gangster movies.

He’s demonstrated at best, his life’s been … and will continue to be cheap B-movie material earning zero Rotten Tomatoes.

Michael Cohen’s finally met real attorneys, law enforcers and a pile of legal shit that he’ll live in for the rest of his life.  His days as Trump’s Fixer are over … kaput … finished.

He’s the sucker, who in those poorly plotted movies, ends up in the trunk of the mobster’s car missing body parts and wearing cement shoes.

Spolier:  Watch Cohen hang from Trump Tower while the Manhattan South DA skillfully flays and then fillets him into choice cuts of defunct and funky smelling Trump Steaks.


Trump knows that Cohen knows where “all the bodies are buried” … and they’re not far from Trump Tower.  To date, Cohen’s tough guy persona has been earned by harassing out-funded and poorly legally represented terrified women.

“Hey Mikie … How do you like facing an “A-Team” of attorneys?

Cohen’s life as the crack attorney for the Trump Crime Family shows that his Five-and-Dime law degree matches his complete lack of intelligence.

A simple enforceable nondisclosure agreement seems to be beyond his capability.


To pay his own legal fees, Cohen’s taking out a third mortgage on his home.

“Hey Mikie … Here’s an idea … Ask Trumpie to pay you what he owes you.”

If you hear anything on the other end of your new burner phone, it’ll be silence … or maybe heavy breathing.

What it won’t be is … “Sure, Mikie.  Give me your bank account number and I’ll transfer funds right away!”

Cohen’s only hope to save his skin is to execute a Greg Louganis “Olympic- Gold-Medal-3-Meter-Dive” … and call it the “Spill-the-Beans-Back-Flip.”

Just sayin’ …

6 thoughts on “Michael Cohen … Legal Eagle … Welcome to the Big Time

  1. Not to rain on this dystopian parade…but to my eyes this whole mess is less John Grisham than it is Lewis Caroll.
    Trump fires Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosentein and promptly names Michael Cohen to Rosenstein’s job.
    The “Freedom Caucus” on Capitol Hill, like the good red-state playing cards they are, bend over backwards to approve the nomination.
    Cohen promptly fires Mueller.
    Mueller, in turn, takes the fistful of flash drives he’s been hiding in a croquet mallet (cleverly disguised as a flamingo) and sends it in a box NOT marked “Amazon” to the Washington Post which then publishes all of Mueller’s findings.
    All the king’s horses and all the kings men (also known as Fox News) frantically try to put Humpty-Trumpty back together again but they finally decide the emperor really doesn’t have any clothes because, as Cohen’s tape-recorded records reveal, they’re all still in Stormy Daniel’s closet…

    • Hi TL … Correct you are … Lewis Carroll is much more fitting for our little political drama starring Trump and his minions … Since Lew “the Hookah Toker” is dead, maybe you should take over and write the true-to-life fantasy about our 45th president. Facts are definitely not needed … Title? “Off with their Heads!”

      Thanks for reading …

    • Mike … Thanks for reading … the nightmare may be on a continuous feed loop, but I’m really enjoying watching Comey push all of Trump’s buttons … not that it’s hard to do!

  2. Y’are awfully optimistic, Huss. Look at how the fixit/obscurit law dogs for Cosby have turned that trial (trials) into a bowl of spaghetti with strands going everywhere and years passing.
    Awfully optimistic.

    • Hey SJ … Thanks for reading and the comment … Caught me … I’m totally optimistic … if I weren’t, i could never write Seriously Absurd every week …

      Pessimism leads to quivering and sobbing in the corner … what fun is that?

      I’m optimistic about Cosby, too … later rather than sooner, Coz will have to pay for his behavior …

Comments are closed.