Soy Beans … Willie Nelson … and Chick-fil-A

Earlier we rallied for the pig farmers and how they’d been screwed by the Trump Tariffs when all they wanted to do was sell their damn pigs … ears and all!

Pig farmers appeared on all the news shows … except FOX … and along with their sows and boars … they whined, oinked and grunted about their problem.

Enter the soy farmers … replacing the piglets as TV agri-stars … with a week of bellyaching about the same damn tariffs screwing with all their soy beans.


Called on once again, the Crack-Soy-Bean-Research-Team at Seriously Absurd is going to bat for the heroes of vegans, vegetarians and Chinese takeout owners everywhere!

Not to be outdone by ‘45’s crappy John Deere green farmer hats, Seriously Absurd has designed the ultimate Soy Farmer protest cap and coordinated tee … now available at our Seriously Absurd Protest of the Week Outlet Store … serviced by!

Yes … you too, can proudly make a statement with this red-white-and-blue ensemble … “Make Soy Great Again” … you can also “Make Tofu Great Again” … or “I Drink Soy Shots!” … or if you wanna be balls-out for the soy farmers, try our “F**K China – Eat Edamame!”


The Food Network joined the Soy War on China with plans to launch “Master Chinese Chef Takeout Cookoff” … highlighting family size takeout featuring tons-and-tons of the humble little beans.

Park your fat asses in front of the TV … unload your cartons of soy beaned Chinese takeout and vote for the Best Takeout Chef in each episode.

Winners will be featured in a final week long … Chinese Takeout Cookoff – American Style!


Jeff Beezos just announced that Whole Foods and Amazon are “All in” for fighting this war.

Beezos states that The Soy Wars will be the best thing for America since Robert Redford’s 1988 film … “The Milagro Beanfield War!”

“We’re reducing the price of all our soy products and promise free same day delivery on all soy based foods!  Prime members will receive an additional 20% off!”

Chick-fil-A’s precious cows have been drafted for “Eat More Soy” commercials showing 24-7!

Willie Nelson’s launched a new additive for gasoline … Willie’s Soy Oil!

“My last venture into the gas world wasn’t that great … but I think I’ve nailed it with my new Soy Oil!” says the ecstatic 85 year old druggedout, traveledout, sungout, country boy Nelson.


We owe it to our soy bean farmers … grab your hats and tee shirts … storm the doors of Whole Foods, march on the Chinese Takeout in your ‘hood, gas up with Willie’s Soy Oil, and do your part for the humble little bean we love to hate!

Just sayin’ …

7 thoughts on “Soy Beans … Willie Nelson … and Chick-fil-A

  1. Are you suggesting fried soybeans might should replace our summer staple diet of french fries with beer?

  2. Sounds like the swan song for soy….or as they say in Japan, its soy-a-nor-a song.

  3. Hey! Don’t you know a pig’s ear from a soy bean shoot? Dis’n Willie is not going to increase your fanatic fan base! Just say’n!

  4. “Thinking” might be a STRETCH here folks….
    How ’bout … Wat maight be on they minds? … as in where she might be hoping he’ll place the prongs of that pitchfork….
    Or some such😃😃😃

  5. We could kill two pigs with one feed by making soy the official MAGA food source for hogs everywhere … then (and ONLY then, of course), we could enjoy our pig knuckles and claim that they taste like edamame. Jus’ sayin’

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