“National Enquirer’s” Furious Bat Boy Flips on Trump

Bat Boy … enraged over all the money thrown around salacious Trump affairs … is telling everybody that he’s totally pissed … and he’s contacted Special Counsel Mueller and the SDNY to schedule “tell all” sessions concerning his relationship to President Donald Trump.

Yes … that Bat Boy.

The one who first appeared on tabloid covers in 1992 … who starred in an Off Broadway musical in 1997 … and was photographed on top of a NYC subway in 2006.

Bat Boy … who entered the political arena in 2008 … initially endorsing John McCain for president but later switching to Barrack Obama when he regained his senses.

Also in 2008 … he popped up in organized protests for Prop 8 … can anyone even remember WTF Prop 8 was all about?

So long ago!


But now with the public emergence of a character actually more despicable than he is, Bat Boy’s re-entered our world demanding that the Enquirer reinstate his spot on their cover!

“Who’s this Trump Bitch, anyway?” questions Bat Boy.

“I’ve graced more tabloid covers than he’s even thought about.  In fact, I may have been on more covers than Trump and David Pecker’s arch enemy … Hillary!”


Bat Boy alleges his story will blow the minds … what minds they can claim … of the staunchest hard core Trump Supporters.  It’s guaranteed to capture more air time than The Donald even thought about.

“He’s met the Master of Reality TV.  I’ll make Apprentice look like amateur hour and nothing but bulls**t hogwash.

“Put my face on the screen and they’ll forget Omaroso-three-name, Michael “I Sing like a Coal Mine Canary” Cohen and even that slime-ball-scum-bag-tax- cheating-Commie-hugger, Paul Manafort!

“I’m the real deal … the truth will win out!”


Bat Boy voiced total support for the flip of David Pecker.  “That Peckerwood Pecker’s just like Trump.  In fact … they both still owe me money.

“They promised me they would send me to world class surgeons … that I’d be welcomed at Miss Universe Contests … that world class Slovenian models would flaunt their bodies at me … “Celebrity Apprentice” babes would take one look and get naked!”

“And … what did I get?  Nothing … zilch … nada … zero!  Now it’s time to say … ‘Hello’ again!”


“Yes, Donald John Trump … temporary President of the United States … now it’s time for me to say to the world … ‘Hi, Dad … bet you wish you’d used a condom!’”

Just sayin’ …

4 thoughts on ““National Enquirer’s” Furious Bat Boy Flips on Trump

  1. Lie down in a cool, darkened room, close your eyes, apply a cold compress to your forehead and hum softly “We Shall Overcome” and this feeling of hopelessness and dread will finally ebb from your veins to be replaced by “precious bodily fluids” and Tito. Big Jim

  2. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the SERIOUSLY ABSURD…where Herr Huss is the undisputed King!

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