Life’s falling apart in Maine … the State of hard-rock-logical-thinkers … down to earth farmers … “ya cahn’t get thaih from hearh” direction givers … and of course, Steven King’s throat curdling life threatening horror novels!
“Yeahup” … that Maine.
Home of Maine lob-stah … the lob-stah roll … lob-stah Thermidor, Newburg, bisque … or any of the bazillion other ways to serve the red crustaceans.
“What?” you say.
Rock-bed Maine falling apart? Tell me … tell me more!
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Before you report me to PETA … or call my therapist … or my wife … let me offer you a disclaimer about, Maine lob-stahs and state drug laws.
Maine has lob-stahs in abundance … Maine is also somewhat-quasi-nearly-okay with recreational pot … and, Maine has a lot of lob-stah pots, too.
So it’s evident that Maine, lob-stahs and pot or pots, all work together harmoniously.
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Is it any wonder, therefore, that at least one zany Maine restaurateur … for those of you who are not conversant in menu French, that’s “a person who owns or is known to be in the restaurant business” … has blended all three of these ideas into one news grabbing, Maine shattering moment.
So relax all you believers that animals of all sorts/kinds feel our pain … if only we could feel theirs.
You now have a new idol to follow … Charlotte Gill, owner and head chef at Charlotte’s Legendary Lobster Pound.
This leading Maine-iac culinary artist‘s “smoking” her lob-stahs by placing them into tanks of cold water infused with “Maryjane-reefer-marijuana-dope-pot” smoke.
According to Gill, she thinks a stoned lobstah is a happier crustacean as it’s plunged to its inevitable end.
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I’m just a simple Florida Boy who don’t know nuttin’ about Maine type lob-stahs.
But it’s quite possible that this is a waste of good Maine dope.
What we need is a “lob-stah whisperer” who can determine a level of “lob-stah happiness.” Otherwise we should let Charlotte live in her own web of humane treatment of lob-stah … regardless of whether they “feel pain.”
And … just a thought … if we can produce vintageless wine via molecular analysis and reconstruction … and 3D print edible pizza … why don’t we concentrate our collective scientific thought to spare those real and alive lob-stah and produce “fake” lob-stah for our culinary lob-stahphiles?
Besides … when was the last time you complained about the fake crab meat in your Sushi?
Just sayin’ …